moimeme Posted April 3, 2005 Posted April 3, 2005 So how do we recognize the right ones? Okay...how do we make a difference between a nice guy and a nice guy? (One is truly nice, the other one is a manipulator). Perhaps we should buy a lie detector and test them next time we talk about mar...oops!...the "M" word... The whole point of the courtship process, IMHO, is to spend the time necessary to figure out whether the person who seems interesting to you lives up to his or her sales pitch. And until humans develop the ability to read minds or until people regularly get full psych examinations plus lie detector tests and make the results available (of course, they have to be genuine and verifiable), all you've got is to spend a lot of time with someone and see if that person's behaviour is congruous with that person's words.
nzchick Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 I just went on a date like 10 minuts ago AND MAN WAS HE RUDE. We watched the ring 2 and it was really bad. He chucked popcorn at me.. like to be funny and yeah i found it funny.. then he "brushed" the popcorn off my shirt.. "AND ACCIDENTALLY" touched my boobs... like he ****in cupped it. I said.. OMG THATS SO RUDE. OMG I CANT BELIEVE U. OMG. and he said what?? i didnt make too much of a fuss coz the movie was almost finished anyway.. so I just told him after the movie that I have to do something and thats the end of our date. he was a bit surprised.. so i just brushed it off and i said okay bye see ya.. HE DESERVES MORE THAN THAT. I WOULDVE SLAPPED HIM BUT THERE WERE PEOPLE THERE!!! I'm never talking to that pervo again. SHEESH.
RecordProducer Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 Ah, NzChick, you should consider yourself lucky he liked your boobs! Hahaha! Just kidding, of course.. I think he had a serious intention to commit to your boobs for a few hours after the movie. Too bad for him that your boobs didn't feel the same. LONESTAR, I see your problem originates from the fact that you like the kinda guys who are being chased by all women. Perhaps you could change one criterion and be the prize for some guy, instead of being one out of a million chicks who drool over him. There are so many cute guys who are not drop dead gorgeous, but in a combination with their personalities they are wonderful. Besides most women like guys that are their age or younger so the older guys who might want a young women like you are actually available for you.
RecordProducer Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 Moimeme, you said we should spend a lot of time with those guys...Bon jour! We know it already. That's what we complain about. See, time is one thing we don't have in indefinite amounts. Not to mention that all guys like young women. A 40-50 year old woman is not attractive to them anymore unless they are 60 or 70. How much is enough to figure out someone? Six months? A year? Two years? What about long-distance relationships? I guess I should date my BF from the US for ten years in that case. When is the right time for me to say "Okay, you've been leading me on and I see that this is not going anywhere further so let's change the status of our relationship, either to engage or break up."? Should I say that after 6 months or a year or two? Given that we saw each other 3 times in 6 months and we spend every day doing voice and webcam for hours...The question is, if it turns out that the relationship hasn't been serious for him as much as it is for me, is it okay for me to waste even 6 months of my life? Not to mention my emotions and the deprivation from physical contact.
moimeme Posted April 4, 2005 Posted April 4, 2005 It is what it is, RP. There aren't any shortcuts or tricks. No guarantees. Not to mention that all guys like young women. A 40-50 year old woman is not attractive to them anymore unless they are 60 or 70. Some men want young things. Others prefer their contemporaries. Your generalization is, as are all generalizations, untrue. How much is enough to figure out someone? Six months? A year? Depends on the amount of time you spend. If a lot, probably a year. If not much, then a couple years. You can shorten the time by travelling together for a while, undergoing strife together, and doing some sort of home project together. Those sorts of situations bring out the worst in people. Or not. What about long-distance relationships? Much worse. Somebody has to live near somebody else for a decent amount of time. Given that we saw each other 3 times in 6 months and we spend every day doing voice and webcam for hours...The question is, if it turns out that the relationship hasn't been serious for him as much as it is for me, is it okay for me to waste even 6 months of my life? Depends. Did you gain anything? Did you lose anything? What are the chances Mr Perfection happened along in that particular space of time while you were otherwise occupied? Not to mention my emotions and the deprivation from physical contact. People have husbands who take lengthy contract jobs overseas. People have spouses in the armed forces who are sent away for months at a time. Some people are worth waiting for. Or not. It's to you to decide.
Cecelius Posted April 5, 2005 Posted April 5, 2005 Most men (from Don Juans to nice guys of the doormat persuasion, to the jerks) have learned that it's a fatal step for them overtly or expressly indicate that they want a serious relationship. ALL women, no matter how old/young, cringe at the man who gives his heart too fast too soon. Even if you are interested in a "serious" relationship, you're not going to shout that out. Second, many men (the single ones being pursued pursuant to this post -- who cares what the married ones want since they're already taken) who've been around a while believe or at least factor in that the more "serious" the girl is, the more she may mean marriage. And many men believe that marriage is doom (financially if there are children, serious loss of soveriegnty, MUCH less likely that your girl will put the extra touches on wardrobe, etc.)* *I acknowledge that there is very often mutual relationship related inattention to physical attractiveness on both sides
Recommended Posts