mrdaniel2004 Posted April 2, 2005 Posted April 2, 2005 I definatley need some advice. Heres the deal. My girlfriend and I have been together for three years off and on. We had a couple rough break ups together, but we always overcame them and realized we wanted to be together. I love her deeply and i believe she loves me too. Over the past three months our realtionship has gotten stronger then ever. We met when we were both in high school, she is a year younger then me so she is finishing up her senior year and i am in my freshman year of college. Everything was going great up until this past weekend. She went on a school trip, a trip i we used to go together on when I was still in high school. She called me when she was on the trip said she was having a good time said she missed me and loved me and sounded genuinley happy when i talked to her on the phone. But when she got back on monday, she was distant when she called. She was stressed. Shes been stressed about choosing which college to go to. And Ive been supportive and i support her no matter where she goes. But all of a sudden in this call when she got back, she says she cant be my girlfriend right now, she wants us to be together but not to really have the titles of bf and gf, that she needs freedom, needs space, doesnt know what she wants, not sure how she feels, is stressed about choosing which school she needs to. So I call her on Tuesday to say hi... i figure we are together but not really together so its okay to call. She is distant on the phone again, and i ask her if she wants me to call her or if she just wants to call me when shes ready. she said she would call. She went off on Thursday to look at a couple different Colleges and hasnt called me since i called her on tuesday. Its now Saturday!! People please help me understand what this all means. How could she go one minute from saying i love you and i miss you and im happier with you then ever, to i cant talk to you and be your girlfriend right now... why is she pushing me away? is she just trying to decide what college shes going to? Or have all her feelings just randomly changed overnight???? HEEELLLPPP
LucreziaBorgia Posted April 2, 2005 Posted April 2, 2005 It could be any number of things: She hooked up with someone on the trip. She wants to start college with a clean slate (as a single woman with few ties to her past). She has been falling out of love with you for a while, and over-compensating for it out of guilt and sadness (hence the seemingly 'great' relationship over the past three months). Whatever the case, its apparent she doesn't want to be with you anymore. She isn't likely to come clean about her real reasons or motivations either. Do you really think that "stress over choosing a school" is so great that it would negate a three year relationship, and that its so stressful that she turns away from her support system instead of toward it? Nah, something else is going on here. She may be stressed about college, but I can guarantee you that it isn't the only thing that broke you up. You really have no way of knowing if she's gone cold shoulder on you - once someone does that, they rarely feel obligated to be truthful with you about their true motivations. She wanted space, so all you can do to prevent her from pushing you away permanently is to give it to her.
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