xXMarlboro_ManXx Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I have been dating this really nice girl but she is shy and the dates have been a bit boring. I have never had this problem before. She has everything I am looking for, she is really nice and smart and meets my level of attraction. There just isn't much of a friendship spark, the dates were good but a bit boring. I ended up dominating most of the conversation and that doesn't happen often. I am willing to keep going on dates with her and hope to connect with more at a friendship level but I don't know if it is that we will never have that spark or she is just shy. We have been on two dates and I want to know how long I should see if it is shyness or just not meant to be. Any advice would be great, thanks in advance
EmEden Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Well, you may be reading to much into it. It's totally possible she is just really shy and doesn't know what to say! In this case, she just needs to warm up to you. Maybe talk less and do something more hands on? Like browse a book store or go to an art gallery. Something that totally interested her, she'll feel more compelled to come out of her shell and talk to you if you just ease up and let her come out on her own terms. I think communication styles is a small piece, but not a deal breaker. Obviously, with time, everyone's communication style changes as you get to know the person. So relax, enjoy the time with her, and be nice. Want to spice the date up? Do something you both have never tried before, like the gallery, or a petting zoo, this will tell you a lot about the person in a new environment. If that doesn't do anything for her, you should ask her politely why she seems so shy around you. Don't be aggressive about it, just try to understand her and she will tell you.
irresolute Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Maybe she's plainly boring and you dont want to hang out with someone like her. In the long term, when the spark is already gone, you'll only see her boredom and I assure you, that's not fun at all. Think twice, if you ready find her boring, maybe it's not that's she's shy, maybe she is a boring person indeed.
preraph Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 It's equally possible that she is just boring, too. Shy and boring can go together because if you're shy, you're probably not doing a whole lot to gain life experience, although you may be an avid reader or something like that and have a passion about a hobby or something intellectual that you can connect on. I dated a shy guy who was perfect on paper that I was set up with, and the only thing we connected on was he traveled with his iguana. He'd come weekends and fly to see me and we'd go do things, but conversation was just completely stagnant. He was very smart academically but in a very specialized microbial field, and that's what his passion was, and needless to say it wasn't very fascinating to me, though I admired him for it. Fortunately, I think we both simultaneously realized when we hit the wall and just ran out of stuff to talk about. He met the girl he'd marry not long after. I was used to a lot of excitement, and he was drawn to that, but he wasn't like that.
ThisisIt606 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 (edited) she could just be introverted, which is different from shy. Try to keep your dates shorter but fun. Too much conversation may actually tire her out. Do something semi active like bowling, pool, a zoo, museum ,etc. where you can move and talk. Convo can be about the things going on around you... what you/she says about them also brings out personality. Edited February 8, 2015 by ThisisIt606
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