sothisisit2 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Question for couples... Do you use a location tracker on your phones for your significant other? If not, would you ever allow it?
GemmaUK Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) No, that's crazy, controlling and abusive in my view. There was a news report around Christmas saying that more people (men mostly) were buying gadgets such as mobiles etc and also finding out about tracking or recording devices which could be installed prior to giving the phone or whatever gadget as a gift to the recipient. They were warning those who received gifts like this to get the devices checked out for tracking systems. My last ex would have jumped at the chance to track me. ETA: I just saw your other thread and I'm hoping this isn't something your man is suggesting. If it is DO NOT allow it. Edited February 6, 2015 by GemmaUK 4
dichotomy Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 We have one on our family plan - but then we have a teenage girl and that was the reason we added it - its been handy. It was NOT meant for the adults, but neither of us care if we use it on each other if there was an emergency concern. Frankly if someone wants to get around it - you just turn off phone, or leave it somewhere else.
todreaminblue Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I think tracking devices could come in handy........especially if you were lost......i get lost a lot.....i could ring up and say hey dont know where i am ......tell me the best road to get on to get home....it wouldnt bother me really if i found a tracking device on my phone from someone i love.....if it was a safety thing and not a trust thing.....as dichotomy said its easy enough to leave your phone at home if you wanted to get around it..... if i tell someone i am here or there...i am where i say i am..........it would bother me if it was about trust and i personally wouldnt track a partner...unless he wanted me too.....i think everyone is going to end up with tracking devices anyway........its getting rough out there.....terrorism crime rapes murders bashings racism......i think a tracking device could be handy in more than one of those situations.....peace of mind for loved ones.....deb
Got it Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Ummm, no. Why would I want to? For a child, especially a teen, absolutely. For my significant other, if I feel a driving need to track him/her there are a host of other issues we need to be dealing with. 5
eye of the storm Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I lojacked my kids when they were younger. But if i ever found out my partner was tracking me....he would not be my partner for long. It shows a huge lack of trust.
Lokin4AReason Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Question for couples... Do you use a location tracker on your phones for your significant other? If not, would you ever allow it? it has it good side of it and also has its bad side of it ... just depend(s) at what the reason is for .... ???? do you suspect something .... ???
Author sothisisit2 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Yes -- this location tracker was a requirement -- when I was out of town. And he would watch it like a hawk. and then he accused me once of taking out the SIM card in the phone and going elsewhere -- to a bar -- and texting from another phone and leaving the location tracker on at home. He demanded that I do FaceTime in that exact moment or he was done with me... And if my phone died and location tracker went off -- he would freak out and accuse me of being with another man.
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Between the cruise & this, why are you with the guy? If somebody ever even suggested I get one of those I'd be out the door before they could download the app. 3
preraph Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 No, and one of these days it's going to be illegal. Ladies, NEVER let your man buy your cellphone for you and be aware he can load the software onto your phone in under 5 minutes if he has access to get into your phone. There are also car trackers. If you even suspect a man is going to do this --- RUN. There is no quicker way to peg a guy as an overly jealous abusive stalker type than having this knowledge. I'm serious. 1
Lokin4AReason Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 well, I am afraid to say ... a trust issue is going to kill this quick heart aches/ getting hurt will be the end result of this =0( you have to decide at what you want, to continue this or step out of this relationship ... =0/
MidwestUSA Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Yes -- this location tracker was a requirement -- A requirement of WHAT? A contract for him to stalk you, read your every text and email, go thru your Facebook page, keep you away from your son, allow you access to your own money? Did you sign something allowing him to have a PI track you as well? Get as far away from this man as possible. How many inexcusable acts does he have to commit? 1
MissBee Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Question for couples... Do you use a location tracker on your phones for your significant other? If not, would you ever allow it? No, this has never occurred to me and has never been brought up in any relationship I've been in. I use the location tracker when I'm using the GPS or an app like Uber or something which needs to locate you, otherwise no I don't use it neither have I ever discussed this in a relationship. Why would this need to be a thing? I could see maybe a parent of a child requiring this for safety and to be aware of their whereabouts but for adults, I don't see the purpose.
Author sothisisit2 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Well this started with a jealousy/trust issue. He wanted to turn it on because he was fearful I was cheating. I am not a cheater and so I said ok... I have nothing to hide. But it quickly got out of hand.
MissBee Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Well this started with a jealousy/trust issue. He wanted to turn it on because he was fearful I was cheating. I am not a cheater and so I said ok... I have nothing to hide. But it quickly got out of hand. You already know it isn't normal, and almost no one will say yes normal couples do this, so the question is do you plan to continue being with this person in spite of his irrational and controlling behavior? He likely will not change so it's solely up to you to decide if this is fine with you or not. As for me, I've better things to do than be with a jealous control freak who is constantly thinking I'm cheating and needs to track me. My life is not a Lifetime movie. 1
Author sothisisit2 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 I had remembered that he had told me he discussed this with a friend of his -- and that they do it too -- and the fact that I stop sharing my location -- was a sign that I am suspicious -- Now, I will say he never turned his off and I don't think he ever played any games etc - he had put 1000 percent into the relationship -- but he had to be all over my every move. And that made me feel very smothered....
preraph Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 It's not healthy. He has a problem. You do NOT want to spend your life with a guy that nuts. 1
Gloria25 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Just like snooping on a SO's e-mails, social media..."tracking" them is akin to following them around like stalking them and if you feel you "have" to do this then it's time you call it quits in your RL. If the trust is so bad you gotta track them, then there's no RL. But some people get a kick out of the drama of antics like this. I don't get it. I don't want any drama. I've had instances where I was cheated on and sitting around wondering "if/when" he's gonna do it again is Krazy making. Again, if it's that bad, time to pull the plug. Same goes if you have a controlling, jealous SO. Now, if I did something to make him question my trustworthiness (just playing devil's advocate here), I believe I have to allow them some right to check up on me...but not perpetually, cuz once I "served my time on probation" I should be allowed to be trusted again. I had a gf who I suspect her SO started tracking her w/o her knowing. He beat on her and was an insecure loser. One day after they got back together and although she didn't need a new phone, she was excited to see he got her a new celphone. But, I think that although he was a loser, she was two-timing him...Hence, why we are no longer friends.
Author sothisisit2 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 I always wonder about this... How do you know if someone has the capability of physical abuse? A family member of mine told me she saw anger out of her ex husband but it took 2 years before he ever put a hand on her... I guess there are warning signs.. My ex BF said he had never hit a woman and never would. But I saw him rage and rip things out of my hand...
ascendotum Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Yes -- this location tracker was a requirement -- when I was out of town. And he would watch it like a hawk. and then he accused me once of taking out the SIM card in the phone and going elsewhere -- to a bar -- and texting from another phone and leaving the location tracker on at home. He demanded that I do FaceTime in that exact moment or he was done with me... And if my phone died and location tracker went off -- he would freak out and accuse me of being with another man. I'm sure this attitude could backfire with some accusers, but I guess in such relationships the controlling person knows they can get away with it with their dominance over their partner. If I got a threat like you did I'd be furious. I would spin it back on my gf,and threaten her. 'Okay if you threaten me with breakup, I'll give you the same. I've had enough of this BS. If I do facetime and you see I am where I say I am, then I'm done with you. So, are you prepared to believe me or do you want to roll the dice on us and for me to turn on facetime.' I would breakup over this too. If it was a wife (marriage) then separating would not be so straight forward though. I do believe in a tracking app either with consent or stealthy if your partner has given you a number of failry solid reasons to be suspicious of them cheating and you need better evidence, otherwise no. Still though what do the proponents of increasing govt survellaince & invasion of privacy say. If you got nothing to hide,then you have nothing to complain about.
MissBee Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 I had remembered that he had told me he discussed this with a friend of his -- and that they do it too -- and the fact that I stop sharing my location -- was a sign that I am suspicious -- Now, I will say he never turned his off and I don't think he ever played any games etc - he had put 1000 percent into the relationship -- but he had to be all over my every move. And that made me feel very smothered.... I'm not really sure what you're looking for to be honest. You ask if it is normal and pretty much it is a unanimous HELL NO! And people go on to say it is controlling and loony, yet, it's like you're just ignoring that and finding reasons to say it's fine or not that bad or what have you. It doesn't matter what any of us thinks really. Is it okay to you? You're the one with him. If I don't like something a man is doing it doesn't matter if it's okay to other people, if I don't like it or find it disconcerting that's my right. Why did you come here to ask about it? It must be because you know it's not normal, so given that, as I asked earlier what do you plan to do? Just rehash all the ways he isn't normal and then say "Okay" and continue...I mean what's the purpose? If I'm with a man and need to constantly ask other people if he's behaving normally and am trying to figure out if he could physically abuse me it is time to GO! 1
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