marie55567 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I recently met a guy my age on okcupid after chatting with him for awhile online. We been on 2 dates and going on a 3rd date. He's shy and he seems like he's into me. He already wants to meet my family and friends and I feel it's too soon so I told him I want to take things slow to get to know more about him and he says he understands. He appears to be my type and I have a good vibe about him. I'm just scared from getting hurt a couple times in the past by men. I'm not sure what to do from here because I don't want to stop seeing him.
veggirl Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 He's shy but bold enough to ask to meet your friends and fam after 2 dates? What? Well, that aside, he asked and you told him no and he said he understands. So why are you worried about that? My 4th date w/ my bf was a baseball game, he asked me to choose the tickets and I told him that my sister and her fam were gonna be there and we could sit w/ them and he could meet/hang out w/ them or we could get our own seats. He told me he didn't feel like it was really appropriate to meet them yet (he said he'd prefer we keep it just us for now) and I said okay and we got our own seats and that was that. Is that similar to your sitch? As long as he understands you want to keep it slow, why are you worried? 2
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 This is very important: Only say yes to something if it's something that you want to do and its something you're comfortable with. If you say yes to something you don't want to do and aren't comfortable with - because you feel you have to, the result will always be a negative experience for you. (In other kinds of situations we sometimes have do things we don't really want to, because its a duty or obligation, but that's irrelevant in the context of your question.) 1
Author marie55567 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 He's shy but bold enough to ask to meet your friends and fam after 2 dates? What? Well, that aside, he asked and you told him no and he said he understands. So why are you worried about that? My 4th date w/ my bf was a baseball game, he asked me to choose the tickets and I told him that my sister and her fam were gonna be there and we could sit w/ them and he could meet/hang out w/ them or we could get our own seats. He told me he didn't feel like it was really appropriate to meet them yet (he said he'd prefer we keep it just us for now) and I said okay and we got our own seats and that was that. Is that similar to your sitch? As long as he understands you want to keep it slow, why are you worried? Good point. I'm probably overthinking things 2
Author marie55567 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 This is very important: Only say yes to something if it's something that you want to do and its something you're comfortable with. If you say yes to something you don't want to do and aren't comfortable with - because you feel you have to, the result will always be a negative experience for you. (In other kinds of situations we sometimes have do things we don't really want to, because its a duty or obligation, but that's irrelevant in the context of your question.) I like this you learn something new everyday 1
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Good point. I'm probably overthinking things As long as your yes means yes, and your no means no, you'll do fine 1
Mrin Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Good point. I'm probably overthinking things Probably. But to me it smacks of his way of saying how interested he is in you but being shy and socially awkward about it. Honestly, no guy would ever be all Jones-ing to meet the parents. Like that's just now how our minds work. If anything, it makes us nervous as Hell especially meeting the father. So why would he say this? Probably because he sees it as an indirect way of saying he thinks you're GF material. He's secretly relieved you said no. But it hopefully got his point across. 3
preraph Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 It's always a red flag when someone gets overly invested before they even know you -- and that's why. Because it's clear they are in love with love and haven't been divested of the notion that you are the "dream girl" in their head yet. It shows immaturity and desperation. So you're right just being very outspoken about the boundaries there. The trouble with that type is if you say "We don't know each other well enough," then they try to double down on spending time with you instead of stepping back over the line. So you have to really say "stop" at some point. 2
veggirl Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Probably. But to me it smacks of his way of saying how interested he is in you but being shy and socially awkward about it. Honestly, no guy would ever be all Jones-ing to meet the parents. Like that's just now how our minds work. If anything, it makes us nervous as Hell especially meeting the father. So why would he say this? Probably because he sees it as an indirect way of saying he thinks you're GF material. He's secretly relieved you said no. But it hopefully got his point across. Great post. He's shy so he doesn't know how to appropriately express his interest so he leapt to an extreme. Not ideal, but not a huge deal. OP, roll with it. You said no and he respected that, so let it play out. Don't dwell on it, it's far to early to be worrying I know you've been burned, so it's good to have your eyes open, but don't fall into the trap of finding red flags in every misstep! 1
Author marie55567 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Probably. But to me it smacks of his way of saying how interested he is in you but being shy and socially awkward about it. Honestly, no guy would ever be all Jones-ing to meet the parents. Like that's just now how our minds work. If anything, it makes us nervous as Hell especially meeting the father. So why would he say this? Probably because he sees it as an indirect way of saying he thinks you're GF material. He's secretly relieved you said no. But it hopefully got his point across. I forgot to add that he wants me to meet his family too.
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