ThisisIt606 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) I've had 2 good dates with a guy I met through a dating app. We're both in our mid-20s. The first date was afternoon coffee (he paid) and we ended up talking for about an hour and a half. He was really attractive, funny, smart, and we found we had a lot of similarities in terms of point of view and interests. He's a busy dual degree grad student and has lots of networking/fun events with his "section mates" in his program he told me. He texted me later that night bc he saw something on TV that reminded him of me and asked me out on a 2nd date. We decided on a date and time. He said he was going ice skaing with his section mates earlier but could meet me after. We decided to meet for drinks at a fun place that also has board games. A few hours before the date he texts me he's running behind on hw. He gave me 3 very detailed options of what we could do 1) keep date as it is but he couldn't drink too much and would have to leave at a certain hour 3) push date time back to 9pm and move it closer to my place so it would be easier for me to get to and he could stay out until whenever 3) do it the following evening and he could stay until whenever as he didn't have class Friday. He assured me he had no preference and wanted me to pick. I texted back saying I didn't want him to feel rushed ( I picked that location bc it was close to the ice skating rink he was going to) and said the following evening would also work for me. He texted back saying if we did it the next evening it would be after dinner with his section mates which ends at 8:30/9pm. I said we should just stick with the original plan as I didn't plan on drinking much either nor did I plan to stay late as I had to be up for work. He said that sounded great and he was looking forward to it. I had a great time on the 2nd date. We talked, drank, and had fun playing 2 board games from our childhood. Convo got a little deep when he asked me about my "lowest point in life" and i told him a story about a past relationship and he told me one too. He asked what my weekend looked like and I mentioned I may be visiting home. He got a call from his dad during our time out and I encouraged him to take it/it was OK. His dad asked him to come home to celebrate his grandmother's bday that weekend. We lost track of time and ended up staying almost a half hour longer than he originally wanted to stay. When the bill came, I asked if he wanted me to get this one, and he suggested we split it so I did. ( I don't like guys to think i'm a mooch and I do realize drinks are expensive especially when in grad school, so i didn't mind). He mentioned he could "read between the lines" in our texts about the date and noticed I didn't pick any of the later options (9pm) and asked when work started for me. I told him I always stay up too late when im at home (youtube, random things)and pay for it in the morning. So I just like to go out earlier on the weekdays but don't care about the time so much on the weekends. When we walked to the train, he reached for my hand and we walked interlacing our fingers. He held my hand like that and rubbed it a bit too with his thumb on the train. He gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye as I got off train and said he'd see me soon and goodnight. i said it was nice seeing him and goodnight. ( i would have liked to kiss him for real but it felt a little awkward/rushed bc we were on train with people so close... wasn't the best situation to be in, so I think he made a good move with the cheek kiss) When I got home I texted ME: " I had a good time good luck with the rest of your work!" HIM: He texted back me too just got home and about to start the grind... There's a chance I may not be able to go to the dinner tomorrow, so I might be able to chill earlier in the evening if you end up free tomorrow night. I"ll let you know more as I figure out more ME: Ok, sounds good. Have a good night (sleeping emoji) HIM: You too (angel emoji) Next day Hey (name)! We ended up going through with the diner,s o it's going to be hard to get together this evening (sorry for the false alarm heh) I guess it will save you from having to venture out in this ridiculously cold weather heh ME: haha no worries, enjoy the dinner! Yeah, I heard there's a "wind chill" warning or something. Wish it would just be Spring already! Him: Same here... Just want winter to finish already heh End of convo. I'm not that surprised/disappointed tonight didn't work out as he told me about this dinner a few days prior and it just seemed like a possibility that he might not go/ asked if I was free instead. Plus, while I would like to see him, i thought it was a little much he wanted to see me 2 days in a row, especially so early. I also noticed he updated his pics on the dating app. I just did the same after I saw he did this. (childish perhaps, but it's still early in dating I realize so I just want to feel as though I'm keeping my options open too by updating pics) So from all this, does he seem genuine/like he likes me to see me again? Should I just wait and see if he texts me again? or would it be a good idea to text sunday evening/Monday and ask how home and his grandmothers bday was? I want to strike a balance between being interested and trying to get a 3rd date and no appear overbearing. Edited February 6, 2015 by ThisisIt606
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) Don't go to bed with him too soon! Don't worry, I say that everyone. Let him reach out to you next time, so that you can gauge his level of interest. He sounds nice Edited February 6, 2015 by Satu 1
clia Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 When we walked to the train, he reached for my hand and we walked interlacing our fingers. He held my hand like that and rubbed it a bit too with his thumb on the train. He gave me a kiss on the cheek goodbye as I got off train and said he'd see me soon and goodnight. i said it was nice seeing him and goodnight. ( i would have liked to kiss him for real but it felt a little awkward/rushed bc we were on train with people so close... wasn't the best situation to be in, so I think he made a good move with the cheek kiss) Were you warm and receptive to all of this? You texted him to tell him you had a good time, which is good. Was there any discussion of a third date other than the potential for the next night (which I hope you would've turned down anyway as too last minute)? I don't think it's a good sign that he let you split the bill. Your first date was only coffee. He should've paid for this one since he asked you out. Also not a good sign that he updated his pics on the dating app. I think at this point you need to wait for him to reach out to you and ask you out again. I would not text him again unless he texts first. 1
Author ThisisIt606 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 I was receptive because I was holding his hand too/didn't pull away and smiled. I hugged him goodbye and made sure to followup with that text. It was a very quick goodbye bc it was only 1 train stop and i had to get off. Did I not show enough interest? How can I show more?
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I was receptive because I was holding his hand too/didn't pull away and smiled. I hugged him goodbye and made sure to followup with that text. It was a very quick goodbye bc it was only 1 train stop and i had to get off. Did I not show enough interest? How can I show more? This is the best advice that anyone will ever give you: Be yourself, and be exactly the same person on the outside, as you are on the inside. Really, just be yourself, and do what comes natural for you.
starmar Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Great advice on this thread...be yourself. And don't sleep with him too soon. I'm guessing you are looking for something with more depth like a relationship, or at the very least a friendship, so my advice based on personal experience is don't sleep with him too soon. Not to play games but to make sure you are both on the same page AND gauge his level of interest. 1
venusishername Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I want to strike a balance between being interested and trying to get a 3rd date and no appear overbearing. Ok, well my opinion is that he seems interested. You don't need to do anything more. He couldn't make the last time. He sounds busy. Let him contact you next! Maybe if you haven't heard in a few days from now or something, no harm in shooting a text. Also, no need to overanalyze every sentence that you text each other! Stop that 1
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