Tuutuu22 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 A family friend I grew up with asked me to prom so I asked my boyfriend. He said "How am I supposed to feel seeing another guy hold my girlfriend" I took his feelings into consideration I would feel the same way so I understood and I told my family friend I couldn't go. But is this a double standard. He gets to go to the bahamas for spring break and I can't go to a prom for one night with someone i grew up with as a favor? I just feel this is a bit of a double standars its two situations where we are being forced to test our trust and he can go to the Bahamas even though he knows how nuts I will be going while he is there for 5 nights but I can't go to another high schools prom with a harmless friend I grew up with. Is it a double standard and what should I do?
Erised Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I just feel this is a bit of a double standars To be straight: you're comparing him going on a trip with the guys planned and paid for before you were together to you going on a date with another guy asked during the relationship (not pre-existing plans)?
Gaeta Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Go to the prom with your friend. This friend has been your friend for MUCH longer than your boyfriend has been your boyfriend. When your boyfriend won't be your boyfriend any more I am 110% certain your friend will still be your friend. A prom is something you will remember for the rest of your life. He asked you because you are a special friend to him, you should be flattered he asked you. It has absolutely nothing to do with flirting and checking other guys out. It's celebrating an important step of your friend's life. 1
LoveRefreshed Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Meanwhile, family friend has a deep seeded crush and is not just asking there as a friend... New guy gets his little heart broken after the excitement she says yes and she loses her friend.
elaine567 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I agree with Gaeta, family friend could be there forever, bf if we are honest will not. (you are still in school) I am sure bf will be dancing with other girls in the Bahamas, so yes it is double standards. I would go to the prom.
wb1988 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 You shouldn't go to prom with a guy that isn't your bf or family, he shouldn't go to the bahamas without you. Why aren't you going with him? I disagree with Gaeta on the friend being there much longer (who cares about the time?). Also if you always put friends first thinking about what happens when/if you break up, then you'll never have a good bf — what kind of a respectable guy accepts being given the shaft when a friend comes up? However, if he's going on holiday without you then yeah I agree, you should go to prom.
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 He's going on a vacation. There is nothing innately romantic about that. Prom is the height of teen romance. It's not a double standard at all. If your BF comes home from the Bahamas & tells you he danced with some girl on vacation you are going to lose your mind. How can you sit there & expect him to be OK with you going to Prom with another guy? I don't care if he's a family friend. Dollars to donuts the family friend has been harboring a secret crush on you for a while & this is his underhanded way of manifesting this.
PegNosePete Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 He said "How am I supposed to feel seeing another guy hold my girlfriend" As I said in your other thread. Looking at girls in bikinis is very different than touching them. You are saying that, if he can look at other girls, then you can slow dance with other guys. That makes no sense. Apples and oranges. 1
Gaeta Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 His vacations has been organized a year ago with a high school group. What teenagers take vacations together in Bahamas? Teenagers go on vacations with their schools or their family, minors don't head down to the Bahamas alone on their own. My daughter had no boyfriend when she graduated and invited her best friend. She had no romantic feelings for him, she invited him because he was her dear childhood friend. That was 10 years ago and he is still her very good friend and when they look at her prom pictures it's always with great fun memories unlike most of her female friends who today look back at their prom pictures and think '@sshole' he dumped me 3 months later.
Gaeta Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 then you can slow dance with other guys. That makes no sense. At her wedding she will dance with her father, her brothers, her male friends, her brother in laws. You can dance with a male friends without it being flirty and dirty. 1
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Is it a double standard and what should I do? I told you that you were silly. You've got to get your thinking right. A date is different than a trip, even if it is mixed boy-girl. I don't quite understand why you wouldn't go to the prom with your boyfriend instead. Surely his Bahamas trip doesn't conflict with that. If BF's going to be around, but he won't take you, then I think you can go with your family friend, because BF is not fulfilling his BF duties.
Emilia Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Jesus, no wonder men get to screw so many women and get away with it, can't believe the naivety on this thread Of course it's a double standard. You don't get to tell him apparently about his lads holiday so he shouldn't have a say in what favour you are doing for a friend you have known for ages. Seeing his girl on someone's arm... Seriously? he will be looking at other girls' tits at Spring Break. the cheek of it and the women falling for it, jeeeez 2
LoveRefreshed Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Jesus, no wonder men get to screw so many women and get away with it, can't believe the naivety on this thread Of course it's a double standard. You don't get to tell him apparently about his lads holiday so he shouldn't have a say in what favour you are doing for a friend you have known for ages. Seeing his girl on someone's arm... Seriously? he will be looking at other girls' tits at Spring Break. the cheek of it and the women falling for it, jeeeez And the amount of judgement and misguided advice is starting to run rampant. Just because a guy is going to a beach on spring break with friends doesn't mean he is going to be ogling others tits. Also, not to be a wise ass, I can do this independent of beaches and vacations You don't even know this guy but are passing judgement of what his behavior might be. Not every guy are the guys you've all dated. Furthermore, maybe the BF can sense some hidden agenda by the friend. He's not asking to go clubbing up with these girls or grinding on them in their bikinis. I think they are two different issues, but I think they have the same common issue. It seems that you guys do not trust each other. 1
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