My first real anxiety attack

[Jl321]

Hey guys. My ex broke up with me a month ago. We initiated NC right away and she went on a trip to her home country. Well I stopped using Instagram and Facebook because she was always on it and I didn't have the will to block her. She despised Twitter so that's what I resorted to.

 

Well while in traffic, I decided to check Twitter and low and behold, she's using it now. What's the first thing she writes? "Snapchat is the bomb", we all know how notorious snapchat is for nudes right? I instantly felt my heart racing and had to call my mom to calm me down. I wanted to reconcile after some time but I feel like she's just trying to get my attention and ****ing with me. She got a haircut and changed her hair color and everything.

 

Either she was living a lie through our 2 year relationship, or she's going through some weird rebel stage. (We broke up because of GIGS by the way).

 

That was the last straw for me. I blocked her from EVERYTHING. Now I'm packing all her crap and everything that has some kind of significance between us. Question is, what the hell do I do with it all? She has books here, a painting that she drew, along with pictures and letters. She lives right down the street so I was just gonna leave it at her door. Any suggestions? Please help me out here. This whole month I was stupid enough to think maybe she would contact me when she got back.

[Elle1975]

Pack everything up, have a friend of hers pick it up asap.

[lovebug_5858]

Throw it away... if they were important enough for her she would have asked for them by now.

Getting rid of it free's you in a way that keeping it or even putting it in the garage can't do.

[quattrob]

Sorry to hear about your situation, my gf broke up with me a month ago and I kind of get what you're going through. I would just do what you said and just leave everything that reminds you about her at her doorsteps since like you said she's just down the street.

 

 

Just get it all over with. Never expect your ex that dumped you to come back. Always move on and you know you will, it just takes time and some effort. If you were a good guy to your ex for the most part they will come looking for you from my experience.

 

 

After awhile you wont care much anymore, you'll be fine don't worry.

[Jl321]

Thanks for the quick reply guys. I'm trying to center myself and relax right now. Think without emotions being involved.

 

Alright, let's say I put them at her door. She's gets everything that reminds us of us. She knows, I know she's back in town, she knows I was thinking of her and she knows I had to get rid of it all. She will probably assume I've given up and don't care anymore. I don't know if doing this is taking a step forward in my healing or taking a step back?

 

If I throw it away, including her books lol, she won't know anything about what I'm doing, what I'm up to, what I'm thinking about. It would be as if I don't even know that shes back.

 

Giving her stuff back and planting that seed in her mind sounds pretty tempting right now. She would have to ruffle through all the memories to get what she wants to keep.

[Mi7522]

OP what lead to the break up? It seems like you are over thinking things. A little insight in to why you broke up will help out people in how they respond to you

[Jl321]

Yes I know, I'm like that.

 

She told me she wanted the both of us to be independent, that she took care of me too much and didn't do anything for herself (it's not like I didn't let her), and that this was "her way" of "fighting for us" (she literally said that). During our last talk, she told me she loved me, she was doing this for us, apologized a lot, even apologized for going on the trip, and told me to take care.

 

That's the reason why I had hope. Sorry I didn't clarify. I was writing it while my emotions still had the best of me.

[JustDeadInside]

Well while in traffic, I decided to check Twitter and low and behold, she's using it now. What's the first thing she writes? "Snapchat is the bomb", we all know how notorious snapchat is for nudes right? I instantly felt my heart racing and had to call my mom to calm me down. I wanted to reconcile after some time but I feel like she's just trying to get my attention and ****ing with me. She got a haircut and changed her hair color and everything.

 

This whole month I was stupid enough to think maybe she would contact me when she got back.

 

It sounds to me like she is having a blast and taking her sweet time because she knows she left you hanging on a string and there is zero doubt that you're still there pining away. I think giving all her stuff back unexpectedly would be a slap in the face that would be very fitting.

[Jl321]

Lol I know but I was talking to someone and they said that it would seem that I was bitter and pissed, which is still me not being in control.

 

If only there was a formula for all the ****. Remind me not to think that people will always stay by your side during the tough times.

[privategal]

I think the giving back her stuff IS contact. I have a gut feeling your gonna figure out you are better off without her.

Your blocking her will bug her cause she cant get your attention. Put her stuff in the trash or of its valuable, in a garage or at your moms, out of your sight...but, be DEAD to her. Drive a different way home even. Or MOVE. But go underground.

Its like shes an attention whore with the constant broadcasting her life on social media. You should delete your pages to everything until your healed.

Shes not worth all this, you are doing great.

Do NOT put her stuff at her door, it will be an ego boost with her type. Screw her

[Jl321]

I think the giving back her stuff IS contact. I have a gut feeling your gonna figure out you are better off without her.

Your blocking her will bug her cause she cant get your attention. Put her stuff in the trash or of its valuable, in a garage or at your moms, out of your sight...but, be DEAD to her. Drive a different way home even. Or MOVE. But go underground.

Its like shes an attention whore with the constant broadcasting her life on social media. You should delete your pages to everything until your healed.

Shes not worth all this, you are doing great.

Do NOT put her stuff at her door, it will be an ego boost with her type. Screw her

 

Thank you for the reinforcement. Made me feel a little better about what I'm doing. For now, I put all her stuff in another room that I don't go into and hid it behind other stuff. I blocked her from everything I could possibly block her from, I even deleted her number. She definitely loves the social media for that reason.

 

I don't like social media at all, I feel like it's all fake.

 

I just need to focus on my businesses, meeting new people, looking my best, and most of all being happy with myself. I love to prove people wrong.

[smellysocksuni]

Thank you for the reinforcement. Made me feel a little better about what I'm doing. For now, I put all her stuff in another room that I don't go into and hid it behind other stuff. I blocked her from everything I could possibly block her from, I even deleted her number. She definitely loves the social media for that reason.

 

I don't like social media at all, I feel like it's all fake.

 

I just need to focus on my businesses, meeting new people, looking my best, and most of all being happy with myself. I love to prove people wrong.

 

Hi mate,

 

Your situation sounds similar to mine. The best thing to do is keep your attention solely on yourself. She doesn't sound like she's worth it, at all.

 

Keep it up, keep going forwards.

[Jl321]

Hi mate,

 

Your situation sounds similar to mine. The best thing to do is keep your attention solely on yourself. She doesn't sound like she's worth it, at all.

 

Keep it up, keep going forwards.

 

Thank you sir, you as well. We can all get through it. When we're down, the only way we can go after is up.

 

"Let us stand in the face of fear. When filled with courage, fear disappears."

[Shetland]

hey im going through some similar thing.

 

Life is ridiculous man, and at the end of the day, i just shake my head and sigh.

 

 

Just gotta keep doing you man. The only certain thing in life is uncertainty.

[sober and dry]

I had some big troubles with anxiety some years ago (because of my gf at the time and other related stuff) and what helped me out on that situation (besides medication) was dealing with it myself "face to face".

At that time this meant getting physical and mentally away from what was giving me the anxiety by all means I could (when I found out everything it was).

Sometimes I would just go for a walk, sometimes go to somewhere new, do something new... really anything I could do. Basically getting out of comfort zone.

 

Be aware that this is what worked for me and everyone is different.

 

Above all take care of yourself and try not to bother with anything else, really anything. Sometimes I feel the need to go even a little lower to gain momentum and be able to get up.

[privategal]

Thank you for the reinforcement. Made me feel a little better about what I'm doing. For now, I put all her stuff in another room that I don't go into and hid it behind other stuff. I blocked her from everything I could possibly block her from, I even deleted her number. She definitely loves the social media for that reason.

 

I don't like social media at all, I feel like it's all fake.

 

I just need to focus on my businesses, meeting new people, looking my best, and most of all being happy with myself. I love to prove people wrong.

 

In 30 days you can burn that box if she doesn't ask for it back, then it can be out of your space. At that time, maybe go into that room and clean it all out, make it a cool little space, a reading or meditation room.

Also...so she broke up w/ you then cut and colored her hair, like she wants to show look at me now Im so brand new? (Attention) posting pics everywhere (attention) adding Twitter (another avenue to get...attention) it is fake and once your healed more I think truly you will look at her like...what did I see in her. She sounds like a FLAKE.

Let some other guy take her drama. Your doing great. Make more changes, new bedding, move furniture around, paint the kitchen..take a small trip, just anything new that changes your scenery. Still deal with the pain too though so its healed and not buried.

[Jl321]

I had some big troubles with anxiety some years ago (because of my gf at the time and other related stuff) and what helped me out on that situation (besides medication) was dealing with it myself "face to face".

At that time this meant getting physical and mentally away from what was giving me the anxiety by all means I could (when I found out everything it was).

Sometimes I would just go for a walk, sometimes go to somewhere new, do something new... really anything I could do. Basically getting out of comfort zone.

 

Be aware that this is what worked for me and everyone is different.

 

Above all take care of yourself and try not to bother with anything else, really anything. Sometimes I feel the need to go even a little lower to gain momentum and be able to get up.

 

Funny you mention the walk, I just came from taking a walk. Well, I would sprint as fast as I could for my anger to disapate, then I would walk gently listening to my music. I stopped by this lake by my house that I had never seen before. It was tranquil. I was lonely, wanting someone to talk to, but for that moment, I felt I knew this had a purpose.

 

Another thing for me is to sing with the music that I listen to. Especially if it's emotional, I really feel the emotions the artist is feeling and it just reminds me that everybody is goes through tough times, you just gotta look ahead and focus on the impact you want to make in life.

 

Thank you for your reply. I enjoy talking with strangers who understand what others are going through. Some of us may not realize it but, these forums really do help a lot of people. Makes me have hope for others.

[Jl321]

In 30 days you can burn that box if she doesn't ask for it back, then it can be out of your space. At that time, maybe go into that room and clean it all out, make it a cool little space, a reading or meditation room.

Also...so she broke up w/ you then cut and colored her hair, like she wants to show look at me now Im so brand new? (Attention) posting pics everywhere (attention) adding Twitter (another avenue to get...attention) it is fake and once your healed more I think truly you will look at her like...what did I see in her. She sounds like a FLAKE.

Let some other guy take her drama. Your doing great. Make more changes, new bedding, move furniture around, paint the kitchen..take a small trip, just anything new that changes your scenery. Still deal with the pain too though so its healed and not buried.

 

My thoughts exactly. It's ok though, I know one day she'll try to contact me when she's down and hurt and I won't be there.

 

I definitely need to do a 180 on my life. I'm taking slow steps right now but I know the path I'm on the right path. I just need to follow my heart and enjoy whatever I throw myself into.