Father'sGentleFlower Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 It's been a month since I've been seeing my partner, I don't know what else to call him besides my partner (since he's not really my boyfriend), so when I mentioned him to one of my lady friends, she kept telling me that I should define what we are and asked if I was a side chick (hell no! Btw). I explained to her that we are only seeing each other right now and then I told her why we are not official. The context is important I told her, so sorry for the story First off, I've never been much open relationships, but this is why I made an exception: When we first started seeing eachother, I gave him a trial and test period (he didn't seem used to taking things slow) and he passed so he became my boyfriend and I became his girlfriend. It was nice, he introduced me to his whole family and I spent thanksgiving with them. However, after about a month, he told me that he was moving to Colorado with his roommate in the summer. I was sad about it, but I told him that it's good he's getting out of Florida. He started crying and he told me thank you for reminding him what it's like to have someone who really cares about you... Then we both cried like idiots. We were still together, but come the day before Christmas Eve, I went to his house with my sister. We spoke alone and he told me that he kept thinking about Colorado. I asked why and he told me that it he closer we get the harder it'll be. I told him that I was ready for it. He told me that he didn't know that he was ready for it. So that night, he told me that we should take a break and not talk (with the exception of christmas day and New Years). Although, he put it a bit tentatively, I took it as we were breaking up for good. I went to my parents house for a week before my classes started again. I called briefly on Christmas (just merry Christmas) and then on New Years I sent him a happy New Years message. He sent one back, but then he also called which I didn't expect nor did I expect that he would ask if I wanted to hang out... Well, more like he said I forgot something at his place and then he brought it up. After I left my parents and went back home, I was practicing in my head what I would say if he decided to change his mind which was: you had the right idea, we shouldn't be together if you are leaving. I wasn't going to say it because I really felt that way though, it was because I didn't want to get caught up in a cycle of indecisiveness on his part, or being on and off with him. But I did miss him. When I went to his house, he showed me a song that he wrote and we talked, but while I spoke to him he started closing in and kissed my face. I was confused and told him that I thought he wanted space. He said "well... you're here". I told him what I practiced in my head, he said " yeah, I know". Of course it, it didn't end there. We ended up together again, not boyfriend-girlfriend, but we spent everyday together. Eventually, his roommate questioned what we were and why we were "on and off". I didn't want to talk about it, really didn't, but I knew that it had to be done eventually. When we talked about it, he told me that he thought of us as broken up but still just being intimate with each other. It hurt a bit when it was put into words, then he said "it was easier not to put a label on it, but that doesn't mean that you're not special to me". It made me feel a little better and after spending a significant amount of time together, I can see that he meant what he said. We did touch on the subject of seeing other people. He told me that he would be gone soon, so it was ok if someone else came along. Of course, I told him that I was only ok with seeing him if it was only the both of us. He told me that we should just be honest with each other if anyone else gets in the picture. I told him that I agree. I'm happy with him and my lady friend saw that when we double-dated. However, she still stands by what she said about it being weird that he's moving away and that she doesn't get how I'm not upset, angry, or depressed about it. I just look at it as him moving forward with his life. Just like I would if I already graduated from University and hated my location... (I really don't blame him, Florida is a freakin' graveyard with walking skeletons waiting to collapse). Still, what she said lingers and makes me think a bit... Am I missing something? Is something weird about it as she says? Or is it just something that others wouldn't understand? Is it abnormal that I'm happy even with what is going on?
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