Clay Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 You do. She failed you now act on her failure. If she wanted to be with you and only you she would not contact him at all. You have your answers now you just need to act. I would get things in line for a divorce and tell her your marriage is over with. Start focusing on taking care of you and making your life better. Clay
CarrieT Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 We are in MC. It seems as if she has feelings for two men. Is that possible for women? Wasn't is possible for you? Didn't you have feelings for two people? Women are no different; of course we can have feelings for two men... 1
sandylee1 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 This woman is my first love and I have never stopped loving her. ------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------ OP, The above was said by you in your original post. If my H felt that way for another woman, then I would not be fully into the marriage either. So when you ask if it's possible to love two people, either you did as well or you only love your old flame and not your wife. Your wife will be thinking you simply settled for her and she is your wife by default. This is not great and she's probably wondering why she should put the effort into the marriage when she is the booby prize. I know you have a child together, but you both don't seem to love each other. I don't know why you are prolonging the agony. 2
Spectre Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 This is frustrating. She said no more contact, but he has initiated texts and emails that she has responded to. What does this mean? She also told him she loved him. It means your wife should not be your wife anymore. Take that trash out. 1
road Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Did you spell out what NC is? Not only in person but by phone, text, email is still contact. Also there is indirect contact that must not take place such as looking at OM's FB page. Your WW must have the OM blocked so no electronic contact can happen. Another layer in addition is to change WW email and phone #. Did your WW send a NC letter? What did the letter say? Have a copy to post here? OP, where's the answers? Have done any of these things?
Author Biere123 Posted February 7, 2015 Author Posted February 7, 2015 Trying to avoid all of that crap. She said no more contact, but she can't say no when he texts or emails
Bryanp Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 No consequences to her actions equals no motivation to change. If you do not respect yourself then who will?
Mr. Lucky Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 She said no more contact, but she can't say no when he texts or emails Since you seem reluctant to accept the feedback and answers posted here, I'll ask you: What do you think it means when your wife tells you she'll go NC with her OM but continues to speak with, text and email him ??? Mr. Lucky 1
road Posted February 7, 2015 Posted February 7, 2015 Trying to avoid all of that crap. She said no more contact, but she can't say no when he texts or emails Where are the consequences for breaking NC? Why are the means still in place for WW to be able to contact the OM?
Spectre Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Trying to avoid all of that crap. She said no more contact, but she can't say no when he texts or emails Why can't she say no? Is this other man a sorcerer? 2
beach Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I guess she proves she's still a liar. Seems terribly disrespectful to you. What are you planning to do to change it for yourself? 2
Spectre Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 I'm just wondering which magic spell the guy uses to force her to respond to texts and emails. Ask her. 2
autumnnight Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 If she had done the work, he wouldn't even be ABLE to reach her. Every avenue should be blocked. Even looking at his FB page would be breaking NC. He needs to be nonexistent to her. 1
beach Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 If she had done the work, he wouldn't even be ABLE to reach her. Every avenue should be blocked. Even looking at his FB page would be breaking NC. He needs to be nonexistent to her. Seems too little too late for that. She knew all those things yet she still made a conscious decision to hurt you further. You're married to someone who hurts you... And when you point it out she ignores how you feel and hurts you again Why is that good enough for you? 2
thummper Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 Trying to avoid all of that crap. She said no more contact, but she can't say no when he texts or emails She can say, "No," all right, but she CHOOSES not to. She's still fanning the flames, and will keep right on doing it until you've had enough. File for divorce and then you'll see if she's interested in saving the marriage. If the answer is "yes," then she knows what she'll have to do. If she simply can't end ALL communication, then you'll know what you have to do. Sorry.
sandylee1 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 OP She might be breaking NC because she fears you could leave her for the old flame that you still love and wants to keep her options open. I'm not sure if you declared the love you have for the OW to her, but even if you didn't, if she senses that you love another woman, she will continue to break NC. She's facing no consequences for her actions, but as you are both madhatters (both cheated) it complicates matters. Have you asked her if she wants a divorce? 1
Author Biere123 Posted February 8, 2015 Author Posted February 8, 2015 I'm just wondering which magic spell the guy uses to force her to respond to texts and emails. Ask her. It's like she's in a trance like state. He has some sort of control over her mind.
Radu Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 It's like she's in a trance like state. He has some sort of control over her mind. Yes ... he is entirely to blame here. No way it can be your wife's fault at all. 3
sandylee1 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 It's like she's in a trance like state. He has some sort of control over her mind. Wow. I don't know what to say to this. I really don't. 3
beach Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 It's like she's in a trance like state. He has some sort of control over her mind. And that's why it's not worth any effort to reconcile.
No Limit Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 It's like she's in a trance like state. He has some sort of control over her mind. It's not him doing this to her. It's "her mind" wanting to be with him. 2
Spectre Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 It's like she's in a trance like state. He has some sort of control over her mind. It sucks when sorcery tears couples apart. Well, you can't compete with these primal forces, she is a lost cause. 3
sandylee1 Posted February 8, 2015 Posted February 8, 2015 OP Do you have a plan of action? Where to from here as OM certainly seems to have her mind?
thummper Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 So, what consequences has she had to face for responding to his texts? Have you threatened divorce or separation? If she's not facing some bad consequences, she's just going to continue her affair with the om.
bubbaganoosh Posted February 15, 2015 Posted February 15, 2015 Trying to avoid all of that crap. She said no more contact, but she can't say no when he texts or emails Yes she can but she doesn't want to. Look, if she can't make her mind up then tell her you'll do it for her. Go find her suitcases, hand them to her, tell her to pack and leave because your done and she can go with her OM. Even if you have to, help her pack, tell her that you wish her the best and call the OM and let him know that he's getting unexpected company. Now what you did was remove the fence so there's nothing to sit on and she finally knows that she burned her bridges.
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