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Ran into cheating husband yesterday after three weeks of no contact

HelenaHandbasket

By HelenaHandbasket
in Infidelity

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HelenaHandbasket Member

HelenaHandbasket

Posted
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He is under a restraining order, so can't contact me in any way whatsoever. Ran into him yesterday and he started crying, begging, pleading, pointing at his wedding ring saying it is his life, says he will do anything to get me back, says counseling, anger management, he stopped drinking, ANYTHING as he was crying during all this.

 

Then I told him too late, I filed for divorce already. He broke down even more saying no, over and over. I told him again, too late, that he destroyed everything we had. I couldn't believe how strong I was being. Then I went home and out of nowhere had a breakdown.

 

WHY do those that cheat realize all they lost when it's too late. Do they think 'oh, my wife/husband will never file for divorce!' This is the same man that hung up on me when I was locked out of the house, left him messages to PLEASE help me and come to the house and let me in. He was with one of his girlfriends when I was locked out, so he couldn't be bothered. I even left messages crying, yet he didn't call me back.

 

Months ago during our first split after I found out everything, he had no problem with divorce, he even said he would agree to whatever terms I wanted and he would sign without an attorney.

 

Anyone else have a cheating spouse that begged to be taken back? How did you cope with the emotions, because I'm constantly going back and forth between feeling terrible and an hour later, thinking he is pathetic.

purplesorrow Established Member

purplesorrow

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I think most believe they will never be caught and have to face the music. It is difficult having to make a life decision under such emotional circumstances. You have to do what is best for you and stick to it. My WH is asking to continue to try to reconcile. My heart isn't in it and that's not fair to either of us. He is remourseful but that's just not enough for me at the moment. Find your peace.

  • Like 4
aliveagain Established Member

aliveagain

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Waywards know you are honourable, they count on your integrity. They know you will always take the high road, they never expect you to break up the family just because he put his penis in some other woman a few dozen times. They feel entitled, it's not really cheating when their the ones cheating, they think they automatically deserve a second chance when you catch them. They just need to be told to take the high road and shove it up their.......... Don't you just get tired of being the nice guy/girl sometimes?

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elaine567 Established Member

elaine567

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Has he ran out of gfs?

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MJJean Established Member

MJJean

Posted
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My ex begged and pleaded here and there. I think the worst was when we were going to court for the final divorce hearing and he needed a ride to court. I didn't want the divorce to be delayed, so I picked him up. On the way, he had the absolute unmitigated gall to ask me to have sex with him "for old times sake". That was not the first time he'd tried, nor was it the last. Thankfully, he moved out of state and I haven't had to deal with him in 12 years.

 

I was never in love with my ex. We both cheated regularly before and during the marriage. He claims he was in love with me. I don't know if that was true, but he did feel hurt when I finally left. He tried and tried to sabotage my job, my new relationship, and poison the kids so they'd get rid of my then BF/now husband and "daddy could come home". It all failed.

 

I did feel bad for hurting his feelings, but the truth is we were never happy together and I'm much better off now than I could have been if I'd continued the marriage.

 

It's been 15 years since the split. He has remarried. He is still up to his old tricks...not keeping a job, cheating, lying like a rug, hitting her, etc.

 

I am also remarried and very happy. Knowing what I knew then and what I know now, I shudder to think how bad things would be if I'd stayed or allowed him to talk me into coming back.

 

Stay strong, woman! You're doing the right thing.

  • Like 3
MJJean Established Member

MJJean

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Has he ran out of gfs?

 

I was thinkin along the same lines. When OP said she wanted a divorce and he was all willing to sign whatever it took I bet he was still seeing someone. When she ran into him recently I bet that relationship ended or is on the rocks and now he doesn't want to lose the OP.

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Arieswoman Established Member

Arieswoman

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post 3# - aliveagain

 

Waywards know you are honourable, they count on your integrity. They know you will always take the high road, they never expect you to break up the family just because he put his penis in some other woman a few dozen times. They feel entitled, it's not really cheating when their the ones cheating, they think they automatically deserve a second chance when you catch them. They just need to be told to take the high road and shove it up their..

 

 

this ^^ x100 :)

  • Like 4
sandylee1 Established Member

sandylee1

Posted
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, pointing at his wedding ring saying it is his life,

 

Shame he didn't think about this when this next bit happened.

 

This is the same man that hung up on me when I was locked out of the house, left him messages to PLEASE help me and come to the house and let me in. He was with one of his girlfriends when I was locked out, so he couldn't be bothered. I even left messages crying, yet he didn't call me back .

. .

 

Please don't go back to this violent, cheating man. You deserve so much better.

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Be_Strong Established Member

Be_Strong

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Why do those that cheat realize all they lost when it's too late.

 

Mostly because people don't miss or appreciate what they have until it's gone.

  • Like 4
No Limit Established Member

No Limit

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I'm afraid I'd laugh him out right where he stood if someone ever pleaded and begged. Especially after behaving the way like your STBX OP.

So sure of themselves and then they try to top it off with good acting, I'm sure outsiders would give me a death stare if I just started laughing out the chap that is on the ground crying like a baby but schadenfreude is just too awesome. :laugh:

 

When he pointed at his ring you should have suggested he open a jewelry shop, surely he could attract female customers this way... :lmao:

Edited by No Limit
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MJJean Established Member

MJJean

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When he pointed at his ring you should have suggested he open a jewelry shop, surely he could attract female customers this way... :lmao:

 

Or say "Huh. I thought you'd have sold that old thing by now. Maybe pawn it to buy your GF something?" and just keep on walking.

  • Like 4
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HelenaHandbasket Member

HelenaHandbasket

Posted
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Exactly right! He was seeing one of his girlfriends on a regular basis when he said he would sign papers. I can't be sure, but willing to guess all his girlfriends ran to the hills once they saw his GPS ankle monitoring bracelet. Of course, he could be laying low while it's still on, but the beautiful thing is, I really don't care anymore. They can have him.

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bathtub-row Established Member

bathtub-row

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It's not the cheating that's the real issue here. He's abusive and they all do the same things. They tear everything down, destroy your soul and break your spirit and when you've finally had enough, they put on an Oscar-winning performance to win you back. You did great and I hope you never cave in and go back to this nut-job. If you do, he'll go right back to the same old stuff.

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