Corvallis Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Well, my boyfriend and I (2 dudes-gay. you know lol) have been dating for 3 months and by far I consider it the best "relationship" I have had. I know we have not been dating for that long, but the guy has been a really nice person, sweet, caring, and all that. So everything was going well until he told me that one of his new coworkers was a guy he hooked up with awhile ago, before he met me. I understood, I mean we all have done it and I didn't really care until I found out that the other dude has a crush on MY bf. My bf is 22, and I'm 26. I am a very open person, and I told him that I got a little jealous when he said they are now working together. He said he is not interested in him, and since he met me he does not want to be with someone else. The usual. Problem is that the day I talked to him about it he said that they didn't hook up, just had coffee but he did send him nude pictures and all. The other dude said they did do it. I told him that it was contradicting his initial statement, but anyways, he said that he was not clear enough. We speak in Spanish all the time because he wants to practice, and I'm ok with it, so I gave him the benefit of the doubt. Barrier language, you know. So after that, he thanked me for sharing my concerns with him and said that that kind of communication really helps the relationship and all. He is still very nice, sweet, kind and all that jazz. He calmed me down. I just don't know why I still have trouble trusting him and what his coworker can do. I know him and he seems to have morals and all. Granted, I have been lied to, cheated on, and abused in my past relationships. My dad was a cheater too. I know it's baggage and already going to therapy, but I'm just scared that this guy is going to play with me and all. Facts: I do like him, I don't love him yet. The fact that I got jealous makes me wonder whether I'm already falling for him or not. I'm not a jealous person. In my experience I've learned that if they want to cheat, they will cheat, and there is nothing I can do; but the heartbreak is just unbearable.
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 How did you end up getting the co-worker to tell you that they DID sleep together? Please tell me you didn't go to the co-worker and ask them what happened between them and your boyfriend. That screams drama and insecurity. Just because he works with a past hookup doesn't mean that he is going to cheat on you. I would work with every guy I've ever slept with at the same time and still wouldn't cheat on my wonderful relationship. This really is one of those times where you just have to make yourself trust him. Whenever you start to get jealous and think about your boyfriend and the co-worker together, do something to distract yourself quickly.
Author Corvallis Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 I did something very ****ty, immature and plain stupid, have to admit that. Went on this hookup app and I started chatting with him and that's how he told me he has a crush on him and they hooked up before. I got off of it right away cuz I find it weird. Anyways, my bf seems to be a loyal person, but this kid mmm I don't know. I know I shouldn't trust someone I don't even know.
d0nnivain Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Try to focus on the fact that when your BF hooked up with the other guy, nothing came of it. In contrast he met you & you two are dating. He picked you. It's unfortunate that he now works with somebody who has a crush on him but while you keep your eyes & ears open, repeat your mantra: He picked me! Perhaps join your BF & his co workers after work so the other guy can get a visual of you two as a couple. That may dissuade him.
Author Corvallis Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 He took me to an event and pretty much all his coworkers were there. He introduced me to his good friend and all. He didn't leave my side. He was very attentive. I guess I just have to trust him and stop thinking he is like my exes cuz it's not fair to him. Guys wish me luck in this journey. And I really hope he's the nice and kind person I think he is. 2
Recommended Posts