Erised Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 To those of you who are not in exclusive relationships, how do you handle Valentine's Day? I have more invites from the men I've been casually dating for some time than I have day. I'm considering saying no to everyone and hanging out with one of my recently single friends who will be hurting. Otherwise, I'm worried it will hurt someone's feelings with all the societal pressure put on the day. (I'm big on honesty so I wouldn't lie about it) There's already been awkwardness with the whole me not being ready to commit of yet and big feelings being expressed, so I feel like working hard to preserve feelings is in everyone's best interest. I've never been completely single on Valentine's Day since I was 11 years old, either, so it might be fun to have a romance-free Vday. Men or women, how do you handle it?
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 I handle it by not multi-dating. Precisely because it causes this kind of problems. Your plan to hang out with your recently single friend sounds good. That way you can be honest to all of the guys and none of them get hurt. And probably will be glad to not get a big bill for an over-crowded restaurant and piles of expectations and pressure. 3
venusishername Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 This is a tough one. I'm SO not looking forward to V-day. I'm dating/talking to several men and I can already planning on being dateless that night. I have a gf who met someone around the holidays and even though they barely knew each other, they spent NYE together. Now they're spending Valentines Day together. They are as casual as can be. Go figure My plan is to do something nice for myself, if I can find any dateless single friends I'll do something with them. If I get asked on a date for that night, of course I'd go. Last year on V-day I bought myself a really nice piece of jewelry $$$- made me feel good and kinda empowered 1
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 I'm not too bothered about Valentine's Day, but when I was single my single friends and I would usually make a fun evening of it and just get together, hang out, cook a nice meal and have a few drinks together. The day is supposed to be about celebrating love, and there are far more variations on love than just romantic love. The deep love I share with my friends is every bit as, or even more, meaningful than the romantic love I share with a partner. While I'm not really bothered about receiving cards, flowers or gifts, it's nice to take some time to appreciate your loved ones and surround yourself with people who you would die for in a heartbeat. I'm in a relationship this year but my two best girl friends and I have actually booked out that entire weekend to spend together (we live separate cities so it's a great excuse to make sure we all get together for a couple days in one place), just eating out, hanging out, having some drinks, maybe going to the movies. My boyfriend says he doesn't mind either and is looking forward to having the apartment to himself while I'm gone 1
Omei Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 I paint my nails pink and red thats about it lol When im single V-day doesn't seem to matter when im taken it doesnt seem to matter then either meh.
LoveRefreshed Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Yes, I can see the problem. Well, there is always spending Valentines Day with me, Erised. Otherwise, just tell them that you do not find the commercialized holiday all that appealing and instead of a date, you are going to spend it with a friend. Or pick your favorite (me, obviously) and go on a date with him. 1
mightycpa Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Lucky for you, this year, VDay is a Saturday. So really, you have time for 7 VD dates! breakfast mid-morning museum lunch afternoon movie dinner drinks spend the night You can always say that you promised to spend VDay with your hurting single friend, but you will carve out a little time to be with your man. If you're not dating 7 (and who does?) that leaves time to actually be with your single friend too! This way, everybody wins on Valentine's Day! 2
Phoe Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 To those of you who are not in exclusive relationships, how do you handle Valentine's Day? I have more invites from the men I've been casually dating for some time than I have day. I'm considering saying no to everyone and hanging out with one of my recently single friends who will be hurting. Otherwise, I'm worried it will hurt someone's feelings with all the societal pressure put on the day. (I'm big on honesty so I wouldn't lie about it) There's already been awkwardness with the whole me not being ready to commit of yet and big feelings being expressed, so I feel like working hard to preserve feelings is in everyone's best interest. I've never been completely single on Valentine's Day since I was 11 years old, either, so it might be fun to have a romance-free Vday. Men or women, how do you handle it? I've only had ONE valentine's day where I had someone, that was last year. Every other year I do my best to pretend the day doesn't exist and just go about my day like any other average day of the year.
Author Erised Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 Yes, I can see the problem. Well, there is always spending Valentines Day with me, Erised. Otherwise, just tell them that you do not find the commercialized holiday all that appealing and instead of a date, you are going to spend it with a friend. Or pick your favorite (me, obviously) and go on a date with him. Well, of course you come first. What we have is very special. Too late to claim I hate the day. I love Valentine's Day. I always have. (I know; I'm not trendy and hip.). I don't see a reason to spend a lot of money, but I think chances to celebrate and appreciate are always good. I'll get or make each of them gifts and everything.
Dallers Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Have two girls interested in me. Both at dating stage. Both want my attention on valentines. Sorry i'm busy to both and taking out my single mother best friend who rarely gets a chance to go out. Focus on somebody important in your life which sounds like the recently single male friend. Forget the dates they are nobody to you at the moment. 2
Author Erised Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Lucky for you, this year, VDay is a Saturday. So really, you have time for 7 VD dates! great gaia -can you just imagine? Eep.
todreaminblue Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Valentines day has never really been an important day for me its commercial ...if i have someone ....i tell them i love them regularly and show them i love them with little gifts for no reason at all...i write poetry so i dont need the hallmark seal of approval to write a note one one day every year..... what you said about spending valentines day with a hurting friend is sweet and kind and caring..sounds awesome and you are a true friend....hope you have a wonderful valentines day with a friend who would surely love your company.....deb
Mrin Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Gosh I hadn't thought about it until you posted this. I guess I'd have to go back to college maybe as in the last time I wasn't in a romantic relationship during V Day? Last year I was supposed to spend it with last year's GF but a ton of stuff went wrong in her life right before. Can't remember what I did - skied maybe? Anyhow, on point with your original question - two years ago I was casually dating this woman in a city that I worked. We spent V Day together and I regretted it. It was too much pressure to be a couple. So if I were you, i'd hang with your friend. Best of luck! Mrin
kaylan Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Just be honest and say something like "Im actually spending time with a friend who's newly single. We can def hang out soon. Dont feel like we have to do something just because its V-day. No worries =)"
RedRobin Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I was never into Valentines Day, Xmas, or a lot of days made up to spend money. I believe in showing people I love them spontaneously and regularly... not when Capitalism dictates It was important to my ex H though.. I told him to save his money and buy me twice the chocolate the day after.
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