greenday41 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 (edited) Here's my story: There's this girl I've known for 4 years. I met in real life in 2011, when she came to meet my best friend(who is her male best friend too). Soon, she added me on Facebook, and we used to chat casually for barely some hours a month. Now, Dec last year, she initiated the convo on Facebook, and asked me for my phone number. Slowly, we started chatting via a messenger app from our phones. In a matter of 2 weeks, we started talking nearly all day. And, in a day or two after that, she started elongating her words, started flirting with me(calling me babe and sweety), talking to me about sex(which she hasn't talked to even her male best friend), asking me my deepest secrets, replying with long sentences, asking me questions back, asking me more about my personal life, asking me if I was single, and telling me that she wouldn't mind going upto 3rd base, initiating convos, asking me about my day, telling me that she's bored, asking me to tell her something interesting, telling me even vital details like she's got to go because she has to "pee" and "change her clothes", as well a certain long incident where she mentioned "bras and panties", which wasn't even necessary to mention, and finally telling me that her feet hurt and how she wanted a foot massage. She also asked me if I had a Valentines Day date, and specifically suggested me places to hang out, and mentioned that they were places for "couples" to hang out. She also used to send me kisses and stuff. Soon, I told her that I have someone special, and she was itching to know who it was. I gave her small clues, and stuff. We've met thrice in real life, but they were always very small and short hangouts with her and my friends. So, a couple of days before, she asked me whether I was free yesterday, and luckily enough, I was, because of my college having a holiday. We made a plan, and then my best friend, let's call him R(as I mentioned, he is her best friend too), her and me met at a cafe. I was obviously a little nervous, but I tried to act my best. She sat diagonally across and I observed her body language: Her legs were crossed and were pointing at me. She lifted her face up several times to push up her back. She constantly was touching her hair and was trying to make it look bouncy so to make it look sexy. While talking to me, she had a certain blush on her face. She laughed at my silly jokes. She rested her head on her elbow at such an angle so that her body would near mine. She leaned toward me and turned her body back to her original position a lot of times. She touched my arm thrice and held it once for a span of 2-3 seconds. At one moment, we looked at each other and laughed while her friend was busy talking to someone on the phone. Whenever my friend was making fun of me lightheartedly, she was very supportive of me. After we all decided to head home, she purposely got up first and stood a little near me, and when I got up from my chair her body gently brushed against mine. Now, what happened is, after we went home, my best friend(who knows that I like her), texted her saying that he could get some vibes by her body language, and said he got the vibes of her liking me. She responded by saying, "Loooooool whatttt" and sent me a screenshot of her convo with him, saying, "Look at this idiot will you? Looooooooool he's soo stupidddd" I responded by saying, "I wonder what made him think that way. ;)" etc..and the topic changed soon. We chatted for a short while, and then she suddenly texts me asking whether she could ask me something. After a short while, she replied saying, "I don't know if I am delusional or not, but this took me a lot of courage to tell you. You're a very good and great guy and I don't want this to change anything between us..coming to the point, am I the girl you like?".. Her reply obviously caught me off guard, since I had planned to hang out with her some more times and ask her out on V day. I asked her for some time to reply, and she was like, "Sure, take your time..but please tell me this is not a stupiddd crushh" I was like, "Matters of the heart are best discussed in real life" She was like, "Ahh. Please tell me. Did I lead you into a wrong direction? Because I feel terrible, as you're a great guy". I responded by saying that she lead me on the right direction. She then told me that how amazing and a great guy I am, and how she is afraid she doesn't feel the same way. Also, how she only likes me as a friend. And, then she dropped the infamous bomb, "It's not you, it's me". I told her I liked her as a friend too, but somewhat a little more than a friend. She was like, "I'm relieved. I don't know how to react to this. I am sorry. So, is everything good between us?" I said, "It was always good" And then she was like, "Good! Sup?" I texted her good night after that, and was obviously paralyzed by w/e happened. She has had terrible breakups 3 years ago, and has been single since then. What I personally think is, she does like me, by all her signs, but she's afraid to commit. I don't know how to proceed further, since we have a movie scheduled this weekend. And, I then told my best friend about w/e happened. He consoled me and told me today afternoon(now), that he had got a call from her, and she wanted to meet him in real life whenever he was free to discuss "something". Something they couldn't discuss via text. I am obviously in shock, since she initiated everything and slowly I started feeling for her, but with whatever's happened, I don't even know what to do. It may take a couple of days to get used to this, but I don't know if I should suddenly go and flirt with other girls now. I would like some advice please. Thanks. Sorry for making it too long. Edited February 5, 2015 by greenday41
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Being friends with someone you have feelings for, is virtually impossible, and will end badly for you. She has told you plainly that she does not want a relationship with you. You need to forget her and move on. she wanted to meet him in real life whenever he was free to discuss "something". Something they couldn't discuss via text. My guess is that she's friend-zoned you because she likes him more and wants to pursue him instead. 1
Author greenday41 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 (edited) Being friends with someone you have feelings for, is virtually impossible, and will end badly for you. She has told you plainly that she does not want a relationship with you. You need to forget her and move on. My guess is that she's friend-zoned you because she likes him more and wants to pursue him instead. Ah, I see.. Nah, she doesn't like him. He's her best friend and he already has a girlfriend. Besides she treats him like a brother. I guess she wants to discuss about me to him. Edited February 5, 2015 by greenday41
Emilia Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 She got embarrassed by her best friend's text and realised that the two of you talked about her behind her back. Her chat with you after was to pre-empt further embarrassment. In the future, keep your cards close to your chest when you like a woman, don't allow your friends to get involved. It takes maturity to be upfront about liking someone openly and you kids don't have that yet.
Author greenday41 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 She got embarrassed by her best friend's text and realised that the two of you talked about her behind her back. Her chat with you after was to pre-empt further embarrassment. In the future, keep your cards close to your chest when you like a woman, don't allow your friends to get involved. It takes maturity to be upfront about liking someone openly and you kids don't have that yet. Actually, she didn't even ask if I told him about it. He could as much as delete the messages and show her the convo between us. Well, I didn't know my friend would just go straight up and tell her that he "felt the vibes". <.<
Diezel Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 You took the time to analyze her body language, but not her actual language. Listen to her words, digest those and follow those, or else you'll keep waiting for something that may never come and may never happen.
elaine567 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 She then told me that how amazing and a great guy I am, and how she is afraid she doesn't feel the same way. Also, how she only likes me as a friend. Repeat after me. She then told me that how amazing and a great guy I am, and how she is afraid she doesn't feel the same way. Also, how she only likes me as a friend. She then told me that how amazing and a great guy I am, and how she is afraid she doesn't feel the same way. Also, how she only likes me as a friend. She then told me that how amazing and a great guy I am, and how she is afraid she doesn't feel the same way. Also, how she only likes me as a friend.
Shining One Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Walk away. Don't be a jerk about it, but just walk away. You'll be much happier for it. I wish I had learned this lesson earlier in life: Once a girl drops the f-word (friend), it's time to say goodbye and talk to the next girl.
Author greenday41 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 Well, now, she called my friend and showed him the screenshots of our convo. And, told him that she liked me only as a friend, and didn't want to hurt me by giving me hope and all. Thus, she has made it clear that she only likes me as a friend. I am ready to move on. But, I don't know, if all she wanted is to friendzone, why give me all the signs?
Shining One Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 But, I don't know, if all she wanted is to friendzone, why give me all the signs?We can't know what was going on in her mind. Perhaps she liked you and changed her mind. Perhaps she enjoyed toying with your heartstrings. Perhaps she's inexperienced and didn't realize she was giving off the impression she liked you. Who knows what it could be. Move on. No more long chat sessions, no more alone time, no more anything. Find another woman to spend time with. 1
PegNosePete Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 They say it is a woman's prerogative to change her mind. 1
lovexocoach Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Go flirt with other women. This one isn't ready for a relationship with you and might have friend zoned you.
Author greenday41 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 They say it is a woman's prerogative to change her mind. Women can apparently change their mind so easily. :| Go flirt with other women. This one isn't ready for a relationship with you and might have friend zoned you. So, you're saying she friendzoned me because she isn't ready for a relationship? That sounds somehow comforting. Since her liking me and suddenly friendzoning me, feels weird. :| Yeah, I am gonna do that.
elaine567 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Go flirt with other women. This one isn't ready for a relationship with you and might have friend zoned you. Might have friend zoned? She then told me that how amazing and a great guy I am, and how she is afraid she doesn't feel the same way. Also, how she only likes me as a friend.
mightycpa Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Accept her friendship and parlay that into going to parties she's invited to, dating her friends, dating her friends' friends, etc. This is an opportunity. Take it.
Diezel Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Well, now, she called my friend and showed him the screenshots of our convo. And, told him that she liked me only as a friend, and didn't want to hurt me by giving me hope and all. Thus, she has made it clear that she only likes me as a friend. I am ready to move on. But, I don't know, if all she wanted is to friendzone, why give me all the signs? You read into them. AGAIN. Forget the signs and listen to the loudest thing happening: WHAT SHE IS SAYING. Cats come with four legs, stop trying to look for a fifth one. 1
preraph Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 She told you she's not interested in you romantically. When a woman says that it takes a lot of courage, and so they're sure about it or they wouldn't say it. Don't expect that to change in the future for any reason. 1
thecrucible Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 She told you she's not interested in you romantically. When a woman says that it takes a lot of courage, and so they're sure about it or they wouldn't say it. Don't expect that to change in the future for any reason. I agree with this. When I say that to a guy, it doesn't just come out of my mouth. I've usually thought about it for a while and consulted some close friends.
fred123 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 why would a girl lead him on? talk about going to third base and flirt with him. look at the things they were talking about and the questions she was asking him!!
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