Erised Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Whether she's cheating or not is pretty irrelevant at this point (though that sounds like classic viewing of the partner under ****-colored affair glasses she's doing) She's treating you horribly. This is not a relationship. It's over and stick to it. 2
Erised Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 . Hard part is even though the child isnt mine finding it harder to leave him than her, what all this must be doing to him is unbelievable. . Ah. Now I see why you haven't left yet. You still need to but that is terrible. It's hard to lose him entirely, I know. I'm sorry. She's a horrible mother to behave in the manner she has with this. You're right that is not good for her son to see. Sorry. 1
beach Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Constantly changed becase the promises where always 'change and youll get everything youve ever wanted' ran out of ideas what i have to change anymore. She even admitted yesterday 'i no youve changed and no youve tried for us but i dont think itll ever come back'. As i say anyway jst going away for a few days, get head in work as cant let that fail and just going to get on as single. Got to just accept if its all my fault then so be it. And why are you continuing to repeat - when we have stated she's completely abusive - yet you keep ALLOWING it? Get far away and stop talking to that witch! Have you read co dependent no more? You need to. I hope you will! Why in the world would you take ALL that crazy blame from her? She's abusive - but every abuser needs a willing victim. Stop volunteering to be her victim. Take charge of your life man. What are YOU doing to change everything? 1
Versacehottie Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Does it even really matter if she is cheating? She sucks as a girlfriend and it is not a healthy relationship which brings you little, if any, joy. Bye. Easy 1
Satu Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 It's a classic master/slave relationship, with her in the role of brutish slave master. Power imbalances are present in every dysfunctional relationship, but for some reason you have allowed her to assume all the power. The reason you allowed that to happen lies somewhere in your mental landscape, in some dark corner you don't want to look into. Everyday when you wake up and put on your pants, you give your consent to the abuse again.
coolheadal Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I don't know what to do, feel stuck in 2 places as if i accuse her it'll ruin the trust but I personally know I already dont trust her. Things havent been good for a while, all she ever requests is time apart, always wants to know where I am and when ill be back even goes as far as to right it on our calendar that ill be a certain place for a certain amount of time like it all needs planning and.... we dont have sex at all anymore, ive tried and everytime just get rejected. I know when youre in a slump together it could just be that shes struggling to get it back but this was this mornings conversation as im self employed i go to the office when i want, usually 5 times a week. anyway fancied today working from home because knew she'd apparently made plans to spend day with her mum and heres what happened. 2 year old woke up, i went into him got him on the potty, got him dressed (as hes at nursery today) and played with his cars with him for 5 mins before telling him i needed to go get ready. I then laid on our bed for 2 seconds just to wake up with her (whilst all this time she hadn't moved) and this is the exact conversation: her: jesus youre so lazy you dont do anything for us anymore me: ive just got up with him im resting for 2 seconds before doing his breakfast her: thought you was going to the office today anyway me: decided to work from home for once as got some marketing to do and its easier here relaxed to get it done her: YOU SAID YOU WAS GOING TO THE OFFICE ALL DAY!!! (shouted) me: what you shouting for? youre going out with your mum anyway so knew no1 would be in her: oh for god sake you dont do anything for us anymore me: no!! what i dont do is ANYTHING WRONG to deserve this everytime her: this isnt working is it? me: so youre ending it AGAIN? jesus get a grip and tell me what the hells going on, if its over just say it? dont have to make sure im at office everyday hoping to suddenly fall in love with me again her: just get lost me: i cant handle this anymore ive got to just get away for a bit took my stuff and went, she then shouted DONT EXPECT TO EVER COME BACK!! just ignored her and left, just feel ive given up then i log into whatsapp and all this took place at 6:30am and i wasnt awake until 6:20ish anyway she was last logged into whatsapp at 5:26am?? am i thinking too much into this? either way i know i cant handle this anymore but if i also found out there was someone else id just feel like giving up altogether. Would of done anything for her but sick of the constant belittling and abuse. its every single day shes mad at me for something and not fair on the kid at all. It's over! You can clearly seen how rude she is to you in a chat. She doesn't want you around. So she can do whatever she wants too. Not much you can do anymore this is how it is with her now. Her mind is made up and you have to just deal with it. If it's your place then kick her out. If she's been there many years it's going to be hard. You'll have to go to small claims court to force her out with US Marshals and Police. Not a pretty sight either. 1
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Pour some time into work, get really busy and evict her from your life. Get someone you want to go home to. Whatever you might have done wrong, consider it a learning experience that will help you be ready for the next one. Take that free time, run, work out, clear your head. Get her out of your life as quickly as you can. Head high and don't look back. You write about this girl as if she's an ungrateful loser, and you like her more than anybody that's posted so far. Pay attention to the words you've written. If it was a pal who told you all that ****, what would you tell him to do? Go do that. 1
hoping2heal Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Wow. What the heck does where you work from have to do with "doing anything for us today" :rolleyes::rolleyes: Even if princess powder puff is not cheating, she is disrespectful, rude, and nasty to you and I think that warrants a break up on the grounds that putting up with that day in and day out would wear anyone to the grindstone eventually. And what the heck is this "you was" ???? Does she really talk that way? Gawd that part just irked me. Sorry, I'm strange. Anywho, the strong reaction over the office is just plain strange. That personality is just frikken gross :sick: I don't know how you even get a boner to do her with.
kaylan Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) Dump this trash op. You deserve better. I normally dont go the route of explaining human behavior with animal kingdom or PUA lingo...but it applies here some. Shes basically treating you like an omega male. Youre def not an alpha in her eyes...and certainly not even a beta provider. Beta providers normally get treated better than this because a gal wont risk screwing up the household income. Youre simply the lowest tier male...an omega she has NO respect for. She tells you youre a failure with your work....that you suck in bed...that youre lazy and a bad father...yet you havent left her ages ago. She has basically callled you a loser with no value whatsoever. For me, a woman has two shots at most to insult me, and usually its one chance depending on the severity of what she says. In your situation, I would have dumped this particular woman without even giving her a warning and second chance. I can understand saying something mean when in a fight...but she says terribly nasty things with no real provocation at all it seems. And no way would I accept a sex life becoming non-existent on top of the insults. The kid is not yours right? You have your own business right? Then you DONT need this woman. YOU are the prize and WILL have options. She will simply be some b!tchy low quality single mom. She should thank the heavens someone like you puts up with her. Trust me, you can find better than some low quality angry woman who also has young kid baggage. Bounce OP. Edited February 6, 2015 by kaylan 1
Acacia98 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 You're in an abusive relationship, male483. You need psychological support and you certainly need to talk to folks who understand the ins and out of abuse. I strongly recommend that you post about your situation on this forum: Abuse - LoveShack.org Community Forums & I also recommend that you read the other discussions there.
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 You need psychological support and you certainly need to talk to folks who understand the ins and out of abuse. or you could just dump her, and not worry about it
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