xoxoxox Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 (edited) So me and my ex have been broken up for 2 months now. Our relationship has been on and off for about 4 years. In those 4 years we've broken up a couple times and got back together after being apart for 2-3 months and during those months he's always tries to talk to someone new. I feel like he's doing the same right now. Can you males out there tell me how long it takes for a guy to actually move on and how often is the grass greener on the other side? Edited February 5, 2015 by xoxoxox
Marco Valerio Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Hi: I'm sorry to say, but it has nothing to do with the gender, is with the person. If you feel that it's easy for him to move on after breaking up, then it only means that he's not that much in love!! Another thing to point out, is that you've been going on and off in the relationship for years. For me that's a sign, you should move on with your life, someone else is out there waiting for you!!!
Light Breeze Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 So me and my ex have been broken up for 2 months now. Our relationship has been on and off for about 4 years. In those 4 years we've broken up a couple times and got back together after being apart for 2-3 months and during those months he's always tries to talk to someone new. I feel like he's doing the same right now. Can you males out there tell me how long it takes for a guy to actually move on and how often is the grass greener on the other side? To answer your questions: The actual timeframe for healing and moving on isn't gender specific. It is personal and will depend upon the individual's mental and emotional strength, being male or female does not really matter. How often is the grass greener? Idk, but from what I see, not too often. It depends though, if your ex is a good for nothing p.o.s., then most likely the grass would definitely be greener for you. Now, about your breakup and relationship with your ex. Too toxic. On and off relationships are not healthy. Personally, I haven't seen one with a happy ending. This is your oppurtunity to reflect on what went wrong with this. Claim your part in the death of you RS and improve yourself. Then heal and move on to bigger and better things. 3
elaine567 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Agree with others here. On LS there are men grieving over lost relationships, men who do not want to see other women because it hurts so much, and men who cannot move on. There are women in the same boat. There are also others who move on quickly, some have even had sex with someone else, the next day or even that same night, after a break up... This push/pull relationship and the fact he seems to move on rapidly each time you break up are red flags. Forget him. Find someone who will appreciate you better. Do not be that doormat waiting for him, whilst he sows some wild oats during these serial "break ups".
mightycpa Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 I have a buddy, who when he was dating, did the same thing. He wasn't very attractive, but he was horny and persistent, and so during these in-between periods, he'd talk up every girl he saw. The grass was indeed greener, but he encountered a lot of "Keep Off The Grass" signs in his search for greener pastures. Having come up emptyhanded, he would return, and the cycle repeated a couple of times until he settled for that girl, and they married. They've been married almost 25 years, two kids in college, and he only cheats on her with Korean massage girls and Costa Rican prostitutes. Other than that, he's pretty happily married. 2
Author xoxoxox Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Hahahaha ^ i dont know if your comment should make me feel better or not but thanks anyways ! I just dont understand how some people can just get out of a long relationship and just sleep with someone else right away. I know that he did really love me though.
mightycpa Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 I just dont understand how some people can just get out of a long relationship and just sleep with someone else right away. Lots of people do this. It's because of physical needs, or filling an emotional void, or because they really like the person, or some combination of all three. You will never understand his particular motives, and really what difference does it make? After all, I know that he did really love me though. that's what counts. You didn't waste your time.
Itspointless Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 So me and my ex have been broken up for 2 months now. Our relationship has been on and off for about 4 years. In those 4 years we've broken up a couple times and got back together after being apart for 2-3 months and during those months he's always tries to talk to someone new. I feel like he's doing the same right now. Can you males out there tell me how long it takes for a guy to actually move on and how often is the grass greener on the other side? No can't tell you, I'm the opposite. Could be a couple of reasons that he is doing this and none or good: He is: emotionally unavailable; dismissive-avoidant; searching for thrills; immature; a cheater, etc.
d0nnivain Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 My Q to you is when are you going to end this cycle of breaking up & getting back together?
Nascarfan Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 The time it takes to get over someone really depends on the person and who they are. A good indicator of who they are is their actions. I haven't searched for greener grass personally, but I can tell you that sometimes it is greener and sometimes it isn't. I'm sure he did love you, so don't ever think that the time you were together was a waste because it wasn't. You were together for a reason, and there will come a time when you'll look back fondly on those memories. But when you truly love someone, you don't immediately move on to someone else. By doing what he's done, he has shown that his feelings have changed and when people are capable of doing something like that, it won't ever be the same because they can always do it again. What matters isn't whether he's moved on or not or whether the grass is greener for him; you are what matters. Love yourself, and understand that you deserve so much more than that. The right person will come into your life, and they're always going to be by your side. Things might be tough for awhile, but I assure you that the best is yet to come.
Recommended Posts