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Why did he try to hook me up with this dude?


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Posted

I really like my friend. He flirted, and was interested in me, but I declined him because I was dating a guy at the time. It turned into a friendship. He stopped flirting with me, and everything else. He likes to hang out with me though. So, he texts me a picture of him and this dude, and he says "Is he cute to you?" I didn't want to be mean so I said "Yeah. Who's that?" He said "My dude. He wants to chill and meet you Friday." I said "Umm...Eric what are you trying to do? Lol, I don't want to be hooked up!" He said "He can't get any girl, so I told him of you, and he thought he was ugly." I said "Aww... :( He's not ugly, but I don't want set up bro!" He said "Naw, I wasn't he thought he was ugly. That's all." Then he says "I wasn't trying to hook you up, I was hooking him up lol."

 

What does he even mean by that? Like is that a for sure sign he's not into me? Or is he playing games? I can't tell if he was trying to test me? If guys do that? Or if he is not into me? What do you get from it?

Posted (edited)

You've already rejected him, so the onus is on you to make a move. Perhaps he will reject you, perhaps he won't. It sounds to me like he's managed to fully transition into friendship. I would never try to hook up a woman I had feelings for with another man. As for why he's trying to hook up his friend... perhaps he's just being a good friend. I set up my best friend with his first girlfriend in high school. There was nothing in it for me other than seeing my friends happy.

Edited by Shining One
Posted

He's trying to hook you up with his friends because he is no longer romantically interested in you.

Posted

Did you tell him you were interested once you were? If youve rejected someone you have to tell them if things change. They've already risked and been shot down; it's your turn.

  • Like 2
Posted

Yeah, I mean I rarely ask a girl out twice. It makes us look needy and desperate. You are gonna have to buck up and give him a cue. You may not have to fully lay it out, but you can't be subtle anymore.

  • Author
Posted
You've already rejected him, so the onus is on you to make a move. Perhaps he will reject you, perhaps he won't. It sounds to me like he's managed to fully transition into friendship. I would never try to hook up a woman I had feelings for with another man. As for why he's trying to hook up his friend... perhaps he's just being a good friend. I set up my best friend with his first girlfriend in high school. There was nothing in it for me other than seeing my friends happy.

 

Yeah :( I see he has no feelings for me...

  • Author
Posted
Did you tell him you were interested once you were? If youve rejected someone you have to tell them if things change. They've already risked and been shot down; it's your turn.

 

 

I didn't tell him because I thought he lost interest, and I am too shy to actually make a move, but now I feel like I would just make a fool out of myself. He obviously doesn't like me anymore. So **** it.

Posted
I didn't tell him because I thought he lost interest, and I am too shy to actually make a move, but now I feel like I would just make a fool out of myself. He obviously doesn't like me anymore. So **** it.

 

That's totaly unfair.

 

I would have responded to his question about wanting to meet you, with "wouldn't he have a problem with me liking you? ;)"

 

Solves the problem. the onus is on you after you rejected him, period.

 

It would be so unfair otherwise because it is frustrating if a guy keeps asking after you say no, so a good guy will not badger you.

  • Like 1
Posted

^^^^^great advice for the future^^^^^

 

another one:

 

That sounds cool, but I can't date both of you.
  • Like 1
Posted
I didn't tell him because I thought he lost interest, and I am too shy to actually make a move, but now I feel like I would just make a fool out of myself. He obviously doesn't like me anymore. So **** it.

 

If you do actually like him then you have to let him know.

ATM he thinks he is in the friendzone and unless you actually say to him "Do you want to go out with me sometime? How about coffee on Friday?" for instance, and make it obvious that you are asking for a date, he will not ask you out again.

Flirting with him and sexy glances will not work here, as you have already turned him down once, so he will not want to risk it again, you HAVE to be bold and ask him out on a date.

 

If it is of any help, I do not think you need worry that he is not interested. I bet he fantasises about a date with you, why do you think he is still hanging around you?

Posted

He's not interested in you or he wouldn't be trying to set you up with his ugly friend. And he's a bit of a pimp, so....

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