oberkeat Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 (edited) I met this girl in a graduate course I'm taking. Early in the class, she was clearly trying to get my attention. Saying hi multiple times when I entered the room, lots of eye contact, etc. One night I stayed after class to chat with her, and she was pretty flirty. She kept calling me "doll", saying she loved the sound of my voice, and offered to drive me home. Assuming interest, I suggested we get coffee some time. She said sure, but not right now -- she said she's busy with a work project and after the 10th of the month, she'll be available. I said "great. I'll hold ya to it," trying to play it cool. Thanked her for the ride, shook her hand and that was it. Yet ever since that night, she has been ignoring me when i see her. I don't catch her looking at me as much in class. I've hung around after class to chat, and she just walks by without a word, now. Now, I am quite confused. What happened here? How could she lose interest so fast? Did I make a mistake when I said that? Should I email her and ask what's up, or just forget her? Edited February 5, 2015 by oberkeat Spelling
SunnySide0418 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 After talking to you and spending some time with you she realized she's not interested after all. It sucks but it happens to the best of us. Try not to drive yourself crazy wondering what it was because you'll never know. You could ask her out for that coffee and/or ask why she seems distant. But if she says no to coffee you have no choice but to let it go and move on.
mightycpa Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Why don't you wait until the 10th to worry about it? That was a pretty specific date, so take her at her word. Maybe she's busy breaking up with her boyfriend or something like that. Maybe it's a test to see how needy you are.
CatalystNX Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Sounds to me like you might have been misinterpreting her signals. The fact that she said yes, but not now tells me she might have been trying to avoid a simple 'no' in response. The fact that she's paid less attention to you since tells me maybe she realized you were misinterpreting when you asked her out and has stopped doing anything you could mistake for signals of interest. Some people are just naturally flirty and friendly and that can lead to confusion; it sounds to be like she might be one of them.
Author oberkeat Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 Well, after she said not right now, I said, "sooo, you're turning me down, haha." She said, "No, I'm not. After the 10th, it's a date." Maybe I am misinterpreting, but that exchange made it seem pretty unambiguous at the time.
rocketman122 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 I met this girl in a graduate course I'm taking. Early in the class, she was clearly trying to get my attention. Saying hi multiple times when I entered the room, lots of eye contact, etc. One night I stayed after class to chat with her, and she was pretty flirty. She kept calling me "doll", saying she loved the sound of my voice, and offered to drive me home. Assuming interest, I suggested we get coffee some time. She said sure, but not right now -- she said she's busy with a work project and after the 10th of the month, she'll be available. I said "great. I'll hold ya to it," trying to play it cool. Thanked her for the ride, shook her hand and that was it. Yet ever since that night, she has been ignoring me when i see her. I don't catch her looking at me as much in class. I've hung around after class to chat, and she just walks by without a word, now. Now, I am quite confused. What happened here? How could she lose interest so fast? Did I make a mistake when I said that? Should I email her and ask what's up, or just forget her? Played It cool by Shaking her hand? "Il hold ya to it" Hahaha. No you didnt. I wouldve leaned over and gave her a hug. I think youre a bit wimpy or nerdy in her eyes And she lost interest. She lost interest when u opened ur mouth.
Author oberkeat Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 Well, whatever the reasons, her behavior since then seems to indicate lack of interest. So I guess I'll move on.
xtopher65 Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Look at a woman's interest as a rating scale. We basically start at 100 because we are a mystery to them. They want to know more. As we do and say things that are maybe immature or unattractive in her eyes we go down the scale. Once we reach a certain level, say 50 or 60 you can forgot about it. It is extremely difficult to win back that attraction especially at the early stages of courting.
Author oberkeat Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 (edited) There's probably a girl out there who's a better match for me anyway. In the time I'm wasting thinking about what happened with this one, I could focusing on meeting her. Edited February 5, 2015 by oberkeat
d0nnivain Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Well, whatever the reasons, her behavior since then seems to indicate lack of interest. So I guess I'll move on. It's not the 10th yet. On the 11th ask her for that coffee she "owes" you. If you don't get a positive response, then move on. Now you are jumping the gun out of insecurity.
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