4everloveu Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Is it true that you shouldn't text the guy that you went out with after your 1st date. Should you let him contact you for 2nd date.
Author 4everloveu Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 Which are you the girl or guy? I'm the girl!!!
stillafool Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 If he treated you really nice and you had fun I don't see anything wrong with a small text saying you had fun and thank you. After that, definitely leave the ball in his court to ask for a second date. 2
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 It doesn't really matter. Traditionally, most people of both genders will say sit back a little, don't be too eager, and give the guy space to contact you first. But in reality, it doesn't matter. If he's into you, he'll be delighted to receive your text. If not, well, does it really matter what he thinks of your message? I think from memory that sometimes I texted the guy first, other times he did it before I got round to it. It's never made any different as to how the relationship did or did not progress. However, maybe I'm a little old-fashioned but I generally like the guy to ask me out for the second date, otherwise I would worry he wasn't too interested in me (and because societal norms state it's generally the guy's job to initiate dates at first, I would imagine that me not contacting him wouldn't make him doubt my interest in quite the same way), after that it's generally an even 50/50 asking each other out.
Author 4everloveu Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 If he treated you really nice and you had fun I don't see anything wrong with a small text saying you had fun and thank you. After that, definitely leave the ball in his court to ask for a second date. He texted after 1st date and said thank you, he has fun. I reply with thank you and I have fun. I text him the next day just to said good morning. He reply good morning. But the text end from there. But everytime I text him, he reply. Is that mean he just being polited.
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 He texted after 1st date and said thank you, he has fun. I reply with thank you and I have fun. I text him the next day just to said good morning. He reply good morning. But the text end from there. But everytime I text him, he reply. Is that mean he just being polited. Is that all your texts consist of? If you had some desire to get to know one another more deeply you'd both be texting a little more than just a 'good morning' if you are both into texting I'd have thought. If he isn't asking you out, I doubt he's too interested in you. Make sure you're still dating others and not just waiting around for this guy to ask you out again. Sounds like he's being more polite than anything.
Author 4everloveu Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 Is that all your texts consist of? If you had some desire to get to know one another more deeply you'd both be texting a little more than just a 'good morning' if you are both into texting I'd have thought. If he isn't asking you out, I doubt he's too interested in you. Make sure you're still dating others and not just waiting around for this guy to ask you out again. Sounds like he's being more polite than anything. I think so too. I told me his work is very heavily, that he didn't respond quickly. He usually respond quicker on Sat & Sunday. Monday - Friday it slow but still respond.
GemmaUK Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I would say if either of you were interested you would add a question in a text to open up a little bit of conversation. If neither of you are doing this then I would question interest levels on both sides.
Erised Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I would not send the first text after a date. If he showed high interest in a text or call afterward, I would resume normal conversation. I would expect him to schedule the second date but if I found something cool or relevant I certainly would ask myself.
spanishchick00 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Well, according to the rules, I've been told the guy always has to be the first one to contact the girl.
mightycpa Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I always liked it if the girl didn't contact me. That way, if I didn't have a good time, I didn't contact her either, and problem solved. If I did like her and wanted to pursue it, she got that call within a couple of days. 1
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Is it true that you shouldn't text the guy that you went out with after your 1st date. Should you let him contact you for 2nd date. In 1950 that was the Gospel truth. In 2015 it's BS. If you had a nice time at least reach out via phone, text, e-mail, IM, FB, smoke signal, something to say thank you. If you truly live in this century & you want to be a modern woman, if you like the guy, ask him out for the 2nd date. 1
Author 4everloveu Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 I find it hard to get 2nd date. This will be my second time going out on a date. Not sure if I did something wrong or said something wrong. But I doubt I did. He seem to be enjoyed the company.
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 As others have said, what are you doing to move the conversation forward. Is there a movie coming out that you want to see? Mention it to him, if you can't get up the courage to ask him to go with you. Perhaps he'll get the hint & ask you. Ask him Qs about himself.
mightycpa Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I find it hard to get 2nd date. This will be my second time going out on a date. You don't have enough data points to draw that conclusion. Calm down and you'll both feel better, and have better dates.
Author 4everloveu Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 As others have said, what are you doing to move the conversation forward. Is there a movie coming out that you want to see? Mention it to him, if you can't get up the courage to ask him to go with you. Perhaps he'll get the hint & ask you. Ask him Qs about himself. I told him when he free we can go for a Sushi since I know he love it.
Author 4everloveu Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 I think I should slow down and relax little bit. I might scare him away.
katinlc Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Here's what I always did. After a date, once I got home I would send a text simply thanking them again for the evening, telling them I had a good time and I'd love to do it again sometime if I was interested in going out again. Then I left it at that - I've stated I'm interested in going out again and now the ball is in their court. The problem with you texting him first is you are now left wondering if he is interested or just being polite. Looks like you offered to take him for sushi. If he takes you up on that great - go on a second date. If not, lay off the texting and if he is interested let him ask you out again.
Author 4everloveu Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 Here's what I always did. After a date, once I got home I would send a text simply thanking them again for the evening, telling them I had a good time and I'd love to do it again sometime if I was interested in going out again. Then I left it at that - I've stated I'm interested in going out again and now the ball is in their court. The problem with you texting him first is you are now left wondering if he is interested or just being polite. Looks like you offered to take him for sushi. If he takes you up on that great - go on a second date. If not, lay off the texting and if he is interested let him ask you out again. Thank you, I'll try to back off now. Hopefully it not late.
preraph Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I agree with the poster who said just to text a thank you but not ask him out or hint about it. It would be rude not to say thank you and that you enjoyed yourself.
d0nnivain Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I told him when he free we can go for a Sushi since I know he love it. If you did that & he didn't do anything to take you up on that offer, perhaps he doesn't like you the same way you like him.
Gaeta Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I am female and I always text a thank you note after a 1st date. Most of the time when I get home the man I met beat me to it and I have a message waiting but if not I take the initiate. 1. If I did not like him I will text thank you for coffee and lovely company I did not feel we had enough in common to pursue. I wish you the best. 2. If I like him I will text thank you for coffee and lovely company it would be my pleasure to do this again. There, done. I show my colors right away. If a man can't handle that I know what I want and I am assertive about it then we are not a good match.
Author 4everloveu Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 I did text and said thank you and it was fun. He beat me by text me first and said the same. He was still text and flirt after our first date.
irresolute Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 You probably did nothing wrong. He's just not attracted to you. Guys go for physical attraction. You could be a dumb blonde, but if you're hot enough, he'll work hard to get you. Do not text him anymore. He's not into you. Try to figure out what you can improve for next time. Lipstick, cleavage, a good figure, a playful and open attitude, a smile, and you're ready. I've always had guys chasing me, all the guys but the ones I like
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