2727 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 My 4 year old GF, left me 2 months ago. I know understand it was probably GIGS. The thing is i wanted to talk to her parents once more in order to give us one more chance. I honestly think we deserve it. I know i can live without her. But the things we did and learned together, made a strong bond. A bond that must not end so easily. Our relationship was full of trust, love and respect. We all knew it. Now she is seeing someone else. Although I think it is not as serious. I would like an answer from her before Valentines Day. If she doesn't answer, i will resign and let her be. What do you think?? Should i talk to her parents once more and tell them this?? They told me she was not ready to talk, that she is hurt and is not as easy as it looks for her. They like me a lot and liked our relationship. But obviously will not force her to anything.
na49 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I'll go against what most people will probably tell you. I say go for it. You're going to be wondering "what if?" otherwise. Go ahead, contact her parents. I'm not sure how her parents can help you get her back, especially if they know she is seeing someone new. I'm sure this guy has put on his best behavior for them, and they think he's a good guy. but yeah, I say just go for it. Have no regrets, and if it doesn't work. You know what to do.
kendahke Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 My 4 year old GF, left me 2 months ago. . I hope you mean your GF of 4 years left you two months ago? 2
Author 2727 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 Thanks! For what they told me, they think she is dating a friend. Even though he has sent her flowers. I don't know for sure if they are in a formal relationship. I don't think so, but this guy definitely wants her, and wanted a formal RS, but she told him to wait.
Author 2727 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 I hope you mean your GF of 4 years left you two months ago? LOL!! Sorry!!
Holmes85 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 2727, You were together with her for 4 years. I'm sure her parents know you pretty well, as well as your Ex Girlfriend. By contacting her parents you are showing your Ex Girlfriend that you are still hovering over her while she persues her new romantic interes. My suggestion is not to contact at all and keep yourself out of sight. It might not look serious to you, but I'm assuming she left the relationship in order to persue the next guy. If she comes back to you after a while, you would be an option to her and not a priority. Don't take her back with open arms, make her work for it, don't pay attention to what she says and watch her actions. 1
kendahke Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 The thing is i wanted to talk to her parents once more in order to give us one more chance. I honestly think we deserve it. I know i can live without her. But the things we did and learned together, made a strong bond. A bond that must not end so easily. Our relationship was full of trust, love and respect. We all knew it. Now she is seeing someone else. Although I think it is not as serious. I would like an answer from her before Valentines Day. If she doesn't answer, i will resign and let her be. What do you think?? Should i talk to her parents once more and tell them this?? They told me she was not ready to talk, that she is hurt and is not as easy as it looks for her. They like me a lot and liked our relationship. But obviously will not force her to anything. Are her parent for your relationship or not? The first time you mention them, it sounds like they were the ones forbidding you access to their daughter, but later on, you say she was the one who is forbidding you access to her. What happened that makes her not wanting to talk to you and to be hurt and moved on to a new guy? 1
Zahara Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Thanks! For what they told me, they think she is dating a friend. Even though he has sent her flowers. I don't know for sure if they are in a formal relationship. I don't think so, but this guy definitely wants her, and wanted a formal RS, but she told him to wait. OP, you're 20. She's 21 I believe. You both met when you were 17/18. Chances for a relationship like this to last is very slim. She's spreading her wings. She's evolving. The dynamic is changing. Stop going to her parents. If you're going to have an adult relationship, then be an adult and accept what she is clearly telling you. Stop running to her parents to fix what's broken. She told you that she wants to go out there and create other experiences. She's told you several times it's over. She's even dating another man. What it is your need to ask her one more time other than you inability to accept and your insistence on staying in denial? Let it go. She knows how you feel. If she wants you back she knows where to find you. The only thing you're doing by chasing is pushing her even further away . 4
mightycpa Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Yeah, go talk to the parents. Tell them that you've decided to face facts, and you came to say goodbye. Then abra-cadabra, disappear. 1
Author 2727 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 The only reason I wanted to talk to her parents, especially her mom, is because my exgf won't talk to me. Last week i went to her house to talk to her and ask her if this was her final decision. Her parents opened and we talked. They told me they thought talking was a good idea and that they will tell her to contact me in order to left things clear. And they made me feel hope. But I don't want to be waiting for her. If she still has feelings, I want her to tell me, if she doesn't, Ill let her go.
Zahara Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 The only reason I wanted to talk to her parents, especially her mom, is because my exgf won't talk to me. Isn't that telling you something? When someone doesn't want to talk to you, you take that as a response and let it be. You don't force yourself in to get what you need. Last week i went to her house to talk to her and ask her if this was her final decision. Her parents opened and we talked. They told me they thought talking was a good idea and that they will tell her to contact me in order to left things clear. And they made me feel hope. But I don't want to be waiting for her. If she still has feelings, I want her to tell me, if she doesn't, Ill let her go. Well, she didn't contact you. Isn't that again telling you something? You're being driven by your denial and your fear of accepting what is. 2
Author 2727 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 The thing is, I don't want to give up just yet. The only thing that will make me do it is that she tells me that its her final decision and that she is better this way. We haven't spoke since the BU and the last message i sent and she answered was a month ago
Satu Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 This: Our relationship was full of trust, love and respect. We all knew it. doesn't fit together with this: Now she is seeing someone else. You need to accept this, and restructure your life around the fact you that you are now a single person. 1
kendahke Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 The thing is, I don't want to give up just yet. The only thing that will make me do it is that she tells me that its her final decision and that she is better this way. We haven't spoke since the BU and the last message i sent and she answered was a month ago She is telling you. You are choosing not to hear it because you want to have your own way. That is what children do. If you are 21, then you are a grown man. Welcome to being an adult. We don't always get our way and the mark of our maturity is in accepting gracefully that we don't always get our way. If she wants you, she knows how to contact you. She is not contacting you because she is hoping you can catch a clue without her having to become a total witch and scorching your feelings. Time to pull up your big boy pants: this relationship is over. Her parents cannot make her do what she doesn't want to do. They are being nice right now: they are not always going to be nice. Stop before you wear out your welcome. 1
Zahara Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 The thing is, I don't want to give up just yet. The only thing that will make me do it is that she tells me that its her final decision and that she is better this way. We haven't spoke since the BU and the last message i sent and she answered was a month ago I believe she has told you in many ways. You're in denial. 1. Suddenly, on November she sent me a message and she told she didn't want anything with me. 2. We went to dinner the next night and it was the happiest dinner of our lives, she looked so happy, and two days later she told me again that she didn't want anything. 3. Then, by the end of November, she told i limited her and told me she wanted to try new things. She didn't want anything. 4. I didn't message her until i saw she started dating 3 weeks after we broke up. 5. Christmas, she told me she didn't want any contact, and didn't want us to be friends after everything that we lived. 6. I told her that i felt cheated because she told me there was no one ese, and i felt like she hadn't had a hard time with the break up. She didn't replied. 7. I waited until two weeks and message her, even though she is still seeing this guy. No response.
Omei Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Leave her parents alone damn! Are you wanting to be seen as someone who's crazily obsessed? Its over. 1
Author 2727 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 So you think i should abandon hope. I wanted to know if she thinks a bit like me. If she has a little hope and regrets her choice.
Zahara Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 So you think i should abandon hope. I wanted to know if she thinks a bit like me. If she has a little hope and regrets her choice. If that were the case, she would have reached out to you. 1
Satu Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 *So you think i should abandon hope. **I wanted to know if she thinks a bit like me. ***If she has a little hope and regrets her choice. *Yes, absolutely. **She doesn't. ***She doesn't and she doesn't. Leave these people alone. Heal yourself.
kendahke Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 So you think i should abandon hope. I wanted to know if she thinks a bit like me. If she has a little hope and regrets her choice. 1. Suddenly, on November she sent me a message and she told she didn't want anything with me. 2. We went to dinner the next night and it was the happiest dinner of our lives, she looked so happy, and two days later she told me again that she didn't want anything. 3. Then, by the end of November, she told i limited her and told me she wanted to try new things. She didn't want anything. 4. I didn't message her until i saw she started dating 3 weeks after we broke up. 5. Christmas, she told me she didn't want any contact, and didn't want us to be friends after everything that we lived. 6. I told her that i felt cheated because she told me there was no one ese, and i felt like she hadn't had a hard time with the break up. She didn't replied. 7. I waited until two weeks and message her, even though she is still seeing this guy. No response. No, she doesn't. She doesn't think like you do, she is not keeping hope alive and she's not regretting her choice. If she was on any of these fronts, she'd have been back in contact with you long ago. November wouldn't have gone down like it did. Christmas wouldn't have gone down like it did. She probably seemed like she didn't have a hard time with the break up because she'd already gone through her "hard time" when she made up her mind that leaving was the course she was taking. 1
Diezel Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 The thing is, I don't want to give up just yet. Why not, she already gave up on you. 1
Author 2727 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 I am feeling better than when we broke up. I realised I don't need her to be happy. But i still love her and I don't understand why she decided to throw our relationship away. I WANT to be with her again, but i don't need to.
Author 2727 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 Maybe she's mad because i thick she discovered my secret twitter account, which i used to vent, and most of the things were full of anger. However this was not meant for her to read it. I say this because before this, she was having a rough time, until i blocked her on FB and Twitter in order to suffer less. Then she thought i was being immature...
Zahara Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I am feeling better than when we broke up. I realised I don't need her to be happy. But i still love her and I don't understand why she decided to throw our relationship away. I WANT to be with her again, but i don't need to. Good. So shut that door and start moving forward. Grieve the loss, feel the pain and accept that it is over. 1
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