alexwood Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 i always hear if someone tries to break up with you, let em. dont fight for them, just let them walk away and move on.in movies and books and tv shows its different. you will see them fight for the relationship is it really that wrong o fight to keep the relationship going? especially if its a break up out of nowhere? if the person cheated on you or beat you i say walk away but if it just cam eout of no where and things were going ok....why should you just walk away? people say it makes the guy look weak by trying but i think its pretty manly fighting for the thing you love
Satu Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Who will you fight, according to what rules, and with which weapons? 5
Lernaean_Hydra Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Who will you fight, according to what rules, and with which weapons? This is such a simple, yet awesome reply. I never understood the idea of "fighting" for a relationship once someone ends it. You can try to work to save it - if it's still ongoing but you fear an end coming - if there are clearly defined problem areas that can be fixed or amended in order to better the relationship, but there's no such thing as fighting for one. No one just up and ends a relationship "out of nowhere". Not really anyway. While it may seem like that to you, for the dumper it's generally something they've grappled with for some time and weighed the decision carefully. When someone says they're fighting for a relationship I can't help but picture a very sad affair with lots of begging, pleading and harassment on the end of the dumpee. Don't go this route. 2
Jimmyjackson Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 i always hear if someone tries to break up with you, let em. dont fight for them, just let them walk away and move on.in movies and books and tv shows its different. you will see them fight for the relationship is it really that wrong o fight to keep the relationship going? especially if its a break up out of nowhere? if the person cheated on you or beat you i say walk away but if it just cam eout of no where and things were going ok....why should you just walk away? people say it makes the guy look weak by trying but i think its pretty manly fighting for the thing you love It's certainly natural to fight for it yeah, we've all been guilty of doing it. I did it 5 months ago and although I regret not just walking away instantly, at least I can say I tried. Unfortunately, life isn't like the movies. Films are a projection of what people wish reality to be. Standing outside your exes window throwing stones at it until she answers and you both end up happily ever after doesn't happen. If someone breaks up with you, just walk away. At least that way they might have some respect for you at the very least. You can't fight for something when theres nothing to fight for, sometimes we don't have a choice. 3
mightycpa Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 How can you win the person you're fighting?
dumbass2 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 "people say it makes the guy look weak by trying but i think its pretty manly fighting for the thing you love" It's a manly thing to do when IN the relationship, but not once someone has told you they are done and don't want to see you any more. When she says its over, the manly thing to do is to walk away with some dignity and not to beg and plead. If it was a test of your love taken to that point, then the relationship was messed up. If someone tells me they're done, they're done. If they wanted to talk about something while in the relationship, then fine, but not after those words are spoken. For me, I was at my breaking point, so when she did it, I came off fine with it. It bruised her narcissistic ego.
Author alexwood Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 im guilty for fighting to keep a girl we dated for 9 months and she dumped me out of nowhere...she graduating school and didnt know where life would take her and got scared i fought to keep it but it ended...though she would tetx me saying she knew we had something going on and it was hurting her being apart did it make me look weak? possibly...at least i tried though
hoping2heal Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Being pursued when you no longer want a relationship can be annoying, awkward, and just make you want to distance yourself from the person further. Makes you feel like "Ok, can you please quit invading my personal space now??!" Sure, there are exceptions. An ex might take pity on you first and tread into awkwardness and end in being annoyed and wanting you to just get the heck away fast. 2
Ducktape Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 http://www.loveshack.org/forums/breaking-up-reconciliation-coping/breaks-breaking-up/510560-what-do-you-think-16.html Read this, he too thinks he's manly to chase after her.
David87 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 You have to understand that real life is different than what you see in movies. You only fight for your relationship while you're still in it, after it ends you move on and respect your partners decision to break up. Dont be a doormat.
Nolan 93 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Hey man life is all about trial and error. Don't be too hard on yourself, I just got out of my first real relationship I'm 21. Always done FWB, just didn't want to deal with heart breaks growing up in high school. So been dating this chick who ended up wanting a break cause she was confused on who she wanted me or her ex. So I fight for the relationship, then she ends up leaving me couple days later and I still fight for it. But then I realize it's not doing me any good, and I just stop trying. But during that we met up and talked a bit, she had a look of sorrow and a tiny smile said "you've tried to reach me in ways my ex never has, during a break" . I cared deeply for her and she did for me too, but her love was greater for her ex (don't know why lol). But still I stopped realizing I'm just pushing her away, and honestly I did nothing wrong in the relationship, and she couldn't be mean to me and that gave me false hope. Till the point I pushed her away, cause she obviously couldn't finish the job. So I tried in the end and you know what who gives a ****!! You tried and let that make you feel wonderful to be able to let go. Once I went NC, man did I think I should have handled everything differently. But I tell you what Peggy (hank hill voice haha) I've learned by trail and error. In my next relationship I will be stronger and accept it and walk away, cause I've learned after the break up. I wish I found this site when this was happening hah. Everyone handles thing differently, that's what makes us human.
Recommended Posts