RecordProducer Posted April 3, 2005 Posted April 3, 2005 I don't know if emotions messed this person up, but she is definitely messed up in the head! Her posts are wandering superficial thoughts...
Pocky Posted April 3, 2005 Posted April 3, 2005 If you need us so much why don't you follow the advice given to you over the past three months? You got yourself into this **** because you're acting like a child. You've had long discussions about your issue, you've had frank advice, comforting advice, logical advice, helpful advice and you still do what you what, how you want and when you want. You do not listen to anything any one tells you. Unlike others, I've stopped posting on the posts because I am not the type of person that's going to hold your hand while you screw up your own life simply because you're acting like a baby instead of taking care of yourself. Obviously, the hand holding hasn't worked either because you're still on this cycle that is perpetuated by you and no-one-else. So, you went and got yourself an FWB. Great for you. You really showed your ex-boyfriend what a big girl you are by being able to have meaningless sex. All you did by doing that is demean yourself for the sake of someone else that doesn't care about you or your well-being. Your ex-boyfriend plays you. He's played you ever since he broke up with you and you allow. Does this sound familiar? You are to blame for the struggle you're going through months after the break up because you do not do what you need to do in order to move on. You've thrown your temper tantrum, stomped your feet, balled your fists and yelled that you're not moving! Well if you want to stand still and not move on from this relationship that's your decision, but don't blame anyone else for it. Stop calling him. Stop checking his email. Stop hoping he'll come back. Stop trying to prove things to him. Stop focusing on him. Stop living for him. Just stop. Change your telephone number and just stop. Or check yourself into a hospital because you've become an obsessed ex-girlfriend that is stalking her ex-boyfriend.
iwishiknewhthen Posted April 3, 2005 Posted April 3, 2005 UGGGGGGGGGG that last post was so judgmentally harsh. her threads aren't even that long, whereas people are advising her and advising her over and over. come on. sheesh. emotionsmessedup, just because you went into your b/f's email and discovered something or nothing, does NOT mean you are a stalker and need to check yourself into a hospital. OMG i cant believe that last post. its not easy to just take people's advise (like simply "just add water," and break years of habits, or thoughts, or act like "ME") that's ridiculous. WOW we are all so patient for results aren't we? (i am not talking to you emotions). i am talking to people i think are jumping the gun a bit here. not saying you guys arent giving decent advise, but the harshness and judgmental part of it sux. WOW who the heck would be motivated by that? and to say she has wandering superficial thoughts? maybe she's just not as articulate as YOU? maybe shes younger? maybe shes isn't the best writer. Good lord. that doesn't mean she is psychotic. we have all made bad choices i am sure. we learn things in TIME. emotions might pick up A part of advise or D. BUT you cant expect A,B,C,D,E. and personally not everybody's advise is right for everyone. all situations are different and some may sound the same, or have the basic same nature, but give your advise and think twice about JUDGING. watch what you write. it may be good for some but not for others and depress people unnecessarily more. emotions....the best advise here is to love yourself. to do that you have to start giving yourself GOOD messages...like "I am human. this doesn't have to be the end of the world and this person i loved or once loved is human too. i don't have to let him ruin my world and this doesnt have to ruin a possible friendhip too if that can be saved." I don't know what's wrong with the man (as you say) but if he wants to be friends and you think you can be JUST that, then try to be and get stronger in the meantime. tell him you want a two way friendship though. ask him what his idea of friends is. ask him if he forgives you for prying in his mail? can you forgive him for what you saw? can either of you trust the other? if so begin a friendship there. and let it go at that. don't repeat history. don't go back to the same ole same ole bad habits, that emotions can cause us to have, try to rise above it. believe you can. in the meantime please don't loosely give yourself to ANYONE. we live in a terrible world with desease etc. Aways protect yourself. start with taking good care of yourself inside out. it starts with a thought. start thinking everyday i can improve myself. i cant change this person i care about i can only do better by taking care of me. by making me a better person one day at a time even if that means LEAVING him. (if thats what it takes) tell yourself you wont let him drag you down. you wont let yourself drag you down. you deserve better. if this guy really wasn't the culprit here, own up to that too and maybe maintain a friendship. but dont beat yourself up. as far as i know, there isn't a decent guy in the world who would be happy about you casually sleeping with another if he cared about you or your well-being at all. you are NOT spiting him like that. hes not going to turn around and say "oh please come back to me and stop sleeping with that guy" he might only get more turned off that you are. so please make your realtionships more meaningful and selective and dont use who you are with as a tactic to get his attention. don't give yourself away so freely, in life in general. its just so risky today in more ways than one. anyway just wanted to say hang in there and when you post, try if you can to take your time, be more specific and detailed and spell things out more. so we all get the clearest picture of the situation. AND in the long run do what is comfortable for YOU , in terms of advise. start with what rings true to you first. dont get all bent out of shape if it doesnt work. then try a new thing or B , after A. etc. it sounded like to me you were mad at yourself for finding something on his PC, you told him you were with a FWB to get him upset, you feel the whole thing backfired on you. now you want to choke yourself for messing things up? if thats the case, things arent so bad, he still wants to be friends. he doesnt sound like he fell apart. even if he did, dont you fall apart. you did something you regret, now move past it and pick yourself up and start all over again : ) . believe thats possible................... give it a try. good luck. and STOP beating yourself up. let us know if there was anything here you were able to put into action. and if not, what have you been able to do to feel better? maybe some of your won things can help us. let us know, even if its been praying..thats cool. jsut try to do POSITIVE things for yourself to bring happiness and peace in your life one day at a time . IF you can do that, that is something indeed. hey we are all here for reasons of our own. we are all in the same "shack" for different reasons . hehe. (also try to have a sense of humor)
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted April 5, 2005 Author Posted April 5, 2005 Thanks iwishiknewthen Thanks Pocky Last night, I called him and asked him to move on and not bother comming back. I got tears and things like I cant imagine marrying and settling down with anyone but you - etc. etc. Suddenly when I see his photographs, I see a monster. There is no way I could go back to the man! Suddenly the pain has washed away. Suddenly I dont want him anymore. Suddenly I cannot stand talking to him on the phone for more than 5 mins. Thanks IwishIKnewThen for your kind words. Thanks Pocky for your harsh ones.
IfiKnewThen Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 lol i dont know how all that happened. but i iwsh i were in the "suddenly phase" i want to be over him for good. and i wish i didnt make such a fool of myself to him (in terms of crying etc) (talking about the jerk i fell for ) i actually wish i never met the person that hurt me so deeply. its been 1 year and i feel like it was yesterday. the pain still cuts like a knife. how he can be so flippant and careless with others feelings. i wish suddenly he would feel what i have been feeling for the last year. soul search. he was such an heartless a..%^&. anyway youre welcome. thank goodness you are more detached somehow. good luck emotions. ----------------------------------------------------------------------------------------- how happy is the blameless vestals lot the world forgetting by the world forgot eternal sunshine of the spotless mind each pray'r accepted and each wish resign'd. ~alexander pope~ nice how easily they can forget-- sure must be great to have a spotless mind. no memory to feel with-no heart to remind you. iwishiknewthen what a cold/self serving/sneaky untrustworthy/uncaring person you truly are........... --------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
Author emotionsmessmeup Posted April 6, 2005 Author Posted April 6, 2005 it all washes away when someone else is exactly in ur situation.. a virgin like u were one with the same person in bed with the same person behaves the same way he did with u asks the girl to cook just like he used to ask u takes her around like he used to take u around yes, it all washes away!
IfiKnewThen Posted April 6, 2005 Posted April 6, 2005 sighs. that is exactly what i am going thru, emotions. hes engaged. and she will be moving in ..doing the things i did for him, him doing the things he did for me, to her. makes me feel typical...or so unspecial. makes you feel like that, doesnt it? and i kept thinking why didnt i run to him ..i would be in her place now if i had. but how easily he replaced me........................................................ how easy, it was for him to do that............................................................................ he has eternal sunshine of the spotless mind. how happy is the blameless vestals lot the world forgetting by the world forgot eternal sunshine of the spotless mind each pray'r accepted and each wish resign'd. ~alexander pope~
BrotherAaron Posted April 7, 2005 Posted April 7, 2005 Hey, be glad you know. i thought ignorance was bliss at one time, but I never truly started to get over my ex until I was so disgusted and pissed at her that it was really the only choice And the whole thing about your first/only leaving and treating somebody else like they are you. That's the worst. Don't worry though - iyou wont likely find yourself sitting around wishing hed come back anymore. It's a short road once you let them go.
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