adrian77 Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 My friend who is 48 was dating this nice, attractive, independent women, they break up, he meets a woman on Match.com he calls the woman of his dreams. She has been divorced twice, lives at home with her parents for 7 years with her 10 year old son and 9 year old daughter. Is a hoarder, doesn't have any money or savings, just lost her job, isn't attractive (I know looks aren't everything but you have to have something else to back it up), is heavy, and isn't very bright. Also lives 2 hours from him. He wants to marry her. I am just confused? Why is this the woman or his dreams? She can't take care of herself or hold a job. The woman before her was great. We all liked her. He doesn't have money to support her and her kids (and he already raised 2).
Ebelskiver Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 People are weird. We spend our whole lives repeating patterns that we learned in childhood, most of the time not even realizing it. Stuck in these endless cycles trying to rewrite the past. Maybe he's trying to "save" this woman because how he feels love is through having people dependent on him? If he is needed he is loved. It takes a lot of introspection to recognize these patterns. Even then we are often hopless to change them. 4
coryreply Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 People are weird. We spend our whole lives repeating patterns that we learned in childhood, most of the time not even realizing it. Stuck in these endless cycles trying to rewrite the past. Maybe he's trying to "save" this woman because how he feels love is through having people dependent on him? If he is needed he is loved. It takes a lot of introspection to recognize these patterns. Even then we are often hopless to change them. Totally agree! It doesn't make sense until you start diving down into the past. 1
irresolute Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 She is surely awesome in bed. Plus, she's a troubled woman, and that makes her interesting. Your nice, cute friend before her was surely boring. This is what life and relationships looks like 1
oberkeat Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 No idea what he sees in her. You don't have to be rich to be my girl, but you do need to be single, never married, with no kids.
stillafool Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 She is surely awesome in bed. Plus, she's a troubled woman, and that makes her interesting. Your nice, cute friend before her was surely boring. This is what life and relationships looks like I completely agree. Others fell hard for her also if she's been married twice. Some people can't even get engaged. She is probably hell between the sheets. That counts alot with men.
Zahara Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Maybe he's a fixer. He is attracted to those that need to be rescued. It makes him feel important and needed. Makes him feel valued. People like this have a very poor sense of self -- hence the inability to feel attracted to what was of his opposite -- the independent and strong woman. 2
mightycpa Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 She can probably suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch, does that regularly and the other nice one couldn't or wouldn't. 1
preraph Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Maybe her being so down in her luck and in life, that makes him feel like more of a man who can actually do something for her, whereas a woman who's self-sufficient may make him feel inadequate. Also, there could be some commonality from his childhood home that makes her or her situation feel familiar. 2
4everloveu Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 No idea what he sees in her. You don't have to be rich to be my girl, but you do need to be single, never married, with no kids. Maybe I'm qualify since im single , never married and no kid.
Sarabi Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 No idea what he sees in her. You don't have to be rich to be my girl, but you do need to be single, never married, with no kids. Ooooh! Hello ...
Toodaloo Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 She can probably suck the chrome off of a trailer hitch, does that regularly and the other nice one couldn't or wouldn't. I can shape the damn trailer hitch but don't live Mummy and Daddy... Gutted... Local shop ran out of AA batteries... Guess I will have to carry on getting on by myself and squashing bananas with my tongue... Just as well I am good at DIY... 1
Arieswoman Posted February 5, 2015 Posted February 5, 2015 Adrian77, My friend who is 48 was dating this nice, attractive, independent women, they break up, he meets a woman on Match.com he calls the woman of his dreams. She has been divorced twice, lives at home with her parents for 7 years with her 10 year old son and 9 year old daughter. Is a hoarder, doesn't have any money or savings, just lost her job, isn't attractive (I know looks aren't everything but you have to have something else to back it up), is heavy, and isn't very bright. Also lives 2 hours from him. He wants to marry her. I am just confused? Why is this the woman or his dreams? She can't take care of herself or hold a job. The woman before her was great. We all liked her. He doesn't have money to support her and her kids (and he already raised 2). Well, there's no accounting for taste, as they say..... None of us can really judge what is going on inside someone else's relationship. All I can say is that this woman obviously meets that guy's needs in some way - and I don't mean necessarily sexually. I will probably get a lot of flack for saying this but even in these enlightened times some men still want "Stepford Wives".
Author adrian77 Posted February 6, 2015 Author Posted February 6, 2015 Maybe it is the sex. They done it a few times in public places. But that does get old after a while I would think.
The Mighty Quinn Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Why don't you simply ask *him* what he likes about her? Seems easy enough and would clear up questions we can't answer.
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