She just never wants sex

[pteromom]

I wouldn't even say foreplay is as important as dirty talking is. Seriously, you can think I'm ****ting you but I make girls orgasm on the phone regularly, some even claimed *to my disbelief at the time* that they came without even touching themselves. Yes it's real. Don't try to argue with me, I know what I'm talking about.

 

True - IF a woman likes dirty talk. Not all of us do.

[Satu]

I'd like to know how engaged with life she is generally. Does she have any strong interests, desires, wants, passions? Is she a physically active person? Does she demonstrate much drive?

[PogoStick]

Leave. Move on. Stop wasting your time. I don't care if you love her or your married, whatever. You're incompatible and she's not concerned with your needs.

 

Find a woman with a compatible sex drive and who will care about your needs.

 

edit: Oh I forgot, go have an affair too. Get a taste of what you've been missing all this time. You deserve it after all this neglect.

Edited February 5, 2015 by PogoStick

[kaylan]

I'm not going to mention the fact that you should not have married someone with such vastly different sexual desires. It's been said enough.

 

But, I read that it's been 20 years sexless? It's not going to ever be what you want it to be.

 

On top of 20 years sexless, it's 20 years of your nagging, complaints, attempted coercion, 20 years acting beta, etc.

 

I was with an ex and our sex life was horrible. Prior to him, my past boyfriends had labeled me a nymphomaniac. Wanted sex always, anywhere, any time. And it always happened. I was like a porn star with them.

 

I started a relationship with this new guy and my libio took a nose dive, tanked, exploded, lit itself on fire, burned to ashes, and then was vacuumed up. Poof. Gone. donezo. And the reason was that we just never had good sex. He would come in 2 minutes. Then he'd say, "I'll get you back later." And would go to sleep. I tried to teach him things. Nope. He never learned. His endurance never got higher. He almost never made me O. We went three months no sex once, and I didn't even care. I never had any desire, didn't matter what he did. Bought me flowers, took me to dinner, cleaned my apartment, made home cooked meals. At the end of the night I was always, "too tired." His whining about it always annoyed me. The complaints just piled on and on and on and it made me dry up for him even more. I lost respect for him.

 

I would have pity sex and I'd just lay there looking at the clock. He didn't even notice.

 

There was absolutely no way I was going to manifest desire for him. There was less than zero of it. He wanted to marry me too, and had one foot in the jewelry store to buy me a ring. I broke up with him.

 

I agree with everything the RationalMale website says. You can't create desire where none exists and you can't go to counseling thinking it's going to change.

 

For reference: the second that relationship ended I entered a new one and my inner nympho came right back out.

EVERYONE READ THIS OVER AND OVER.

 

If you are an inconsiderate lover, it WILL damage your relationship. And if there is no desire, you cant change that. A fulfilling sexual relationship must begin with passion. You cannot create it out of thin air.

[kaylan]

Rationalmale should be required reading for Every man. Swallow the red pill, learn game!! And the uncomfortable truth about women, grieve the loss of your old self then go forward with your new found knowledge into more successful relationships. Its taken me a full year to finally accept the true dualistic nature of women's love. I was bitter for a very, very long time but now I've come out the other side I can never go back.

 

You cannot negotiate genuine desire- you need to grow a pair and walk away from this woman because things will never change. You are only holding yourself back from someone out there who will be crazy for the new improved self. Let her go- you cannot argue logic and perform x, y and z to get sex, especially when emotions are involved. Emotions cannot be changed or reasoned with- feelings are either there or they are not. It's horrible but it is what it is.

I wouldnt go this far, regarding the underlined.

 

While some of these blogs have good points from time to time...they are mostly filled with a 1950s mindset to dating from what Ive seen. Nevermind the kind of men MRA or PUA blogs attract to their comment sections...ie largely filled with misogynists, racists, hard right wing idiots.

 

Thats the kind of audience I tend to come across on most MRA or PUA sites. Though there are a couple of decent pickup blogs and forums that dont get sucked into politics or whining, and simply stick to teaching men how to talk to and enjoy women.

Edited February 5, 2015 by kaylan

[Erised]

n 'tbh yes I'd like more sex' she goes nuts and calls me a sex pest.

We average once every fortnight yet she's 27 year old

 

 

Her disregard for your feelings is very disconcerting.

 

I could not handle sex so little in a relationship myself. Has it always been an issue? For me, sex is part of bonding and should be as often as possible.

[elaine567]

I wouldnt go this far, regarding the underlined.

 

While some of these blogs have good points from time to time...they are mostly filled with a 1950s mindset to dating from what Ive seen. Nevermind the kind of men MRA or PUA blogs attract to their comment sections...ie largely filled with misogynists, racists, hard right wing idiots.

 

Thats the kind of audience I tend to come across on most MRA or PUA sites. Though there are a couple of decent pickup blogs and forums that dont get sucked into politics or whining, and simply stick to teaching men how to talk to and enjoy women.

 

That was my impression too, far too misogynistic and bitter for my liking in the main.

I like to look at other viewpoints, but what I did read seemed mostly verging on the offensive if not overtly offensive to women in general.

 

BUT I would think that wouldn't I?...

[hudson701]

I wouldnt go this far, regarding the underlined.

 

While some of these blogs have good points from time to time...they are mostly filled with a 1950s mindset to dating from what Ive seen. Nevermind the kind of men MRA or PUA blogs attract to their comment sections...ie largely filled with misogynists, racists, hard right wing idiots.

 

Thats the kind of audience I tend to come across on most MRA or PUA sites. Though there are a couple of decent pickup blogs and forums that dont get sucked into politics or whining, and simply stick to teaching men how to talk to and enjoy women.

 

Uhhh.... The rational male is not a pua blog. Please do some research in future before making sweeping statements and stereotyping everyone who reads such blogs as racist bigots. The problem is in this very femcentric society, is what we like to think happens re women's behaviour, and what *actually* happens in real life i.e. The observable in-field evidence, are two very different things.

 

Watch Blue Valentine for a shockingly real portrayal of women's Hypergamy. I was amazed Hollywood let such a film be made what with all it's romcoms, rainbows and sunshines. That film is a real eye opener for the wet-behind-the-ears-men and is particularly uncomfortable for women to watch; the truth is unsettling.

[veggirl]

That's presuming he is doing the exact same things he did before marriage which I doubt. Likely he put more effort in during dating.

 

 

 

But this is real life. Real life isn't all boat rides and romantic dinners and everything that others have listed. If someone requires grand gestures just to want sex, there is a problem. Let's be real, we ALL, men and women alike, put in more effort during the honeymoon period. I'm sure his gf isn't still making sure she's dressed to the nines when she sees him.

 

I'm so glad I'm not a man when I read these threads. They can list a thousand things they do for a woman and just get told "obviously you're only doing those things for sex, doesn't count!!!!"

 

OP this girl is never going to be sexual. When you try to discuss it she calls you a pest?!! She's just not interested and isn't going to be. I'd move on.