dezzy1028p Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 I'm currently two months in since the breakup. I was with my ex for about a year and a half, and during the time we were together he restricted me from being around my friends, especially guy friends because my ex saw them as a threat. Because I liked my ex (and was blinded to see his controlling personality) i blocked out my guy friends and didn't reach out or attempt to be friends with people (i know it was stupid of me to do that..lol). During that year and a half i dedicated so much time towards him..just him. After we broke up I realized socializing was something that made me happy (especially with new people), so recently i have been trying to be more open, friendly, and join social groups. Except the problem is, is that i find it so difficult. I don't know what's wrong with me...maybe i'm in a phase from still suffering from the breakup? Or maybe because I'm not use to this freedom now? I force myself to try and talk to other guys because i miss having guy friends in my life, but i just come out awkward and the conversation goes short. I'm working on rebuilding my relationship with my past guy friends, which is going okay so far. I just dont understand why i still feel uncomfortable and distant around them when I know i shouldn't be..socializing is my way to cope, but it shouldn't be this hard lol I do have my closest girl friends since they were the only ones he allowed me to be around. I love them and all, but i also want to expand my social life. I just try to refrain from social media because I dont want to come across my ex in some way. I remember being a bubbly, positive, and funny person before I even dated my ex...I don't know where that personality went. I can't seem to crack a joke anymore and I take things more seriously. Or maybe I'm just adapting to this new serious personality (which i dont really want to) Socializing is a weird feeling right now. Idk...maybe it will all come back in time? Any advice or thoughts are appreciated
NopeNah Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 Sounds like your ex isolated you in a controlling BPD'ish manner..I was involved in a similar situation for years! It's tough to break away from that..You will though,in time.
Author dezzy1028p Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 Sounds like your ex isolated you in a controlling BPD'ish manner..I was involved in a similar situation for years! It's tough to break away from that..You will though,in time. Yeah..i sacrificed a lot just to make him happy. What were some of the things you did to break away from it? And how long did it take till you felt like you were able to socialize comfortably again?
NopeNah Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Yeah..i sacrificed a lot just to make him happy. What were some of the things you did to break away from it? And how long did it take till you felt like you were able to socialize comfortably again? 10+year on/off relationship for me. I was already one foot out the door...Still sucked,but whatever,out of my control? I'm 'normal' now and have always been,whether in or out
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