triwill Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 I want to be a force of hope for everyone including myself, so i hope people see this as inspiring but also a way to help me through the pain as well. I'll have to start with the first love of my life ten years ago. off and on we dated until he broke my heart and left me for another person. it was absolutely the worst pain i have ever been in. it didnt help that i stayed in contact as he called me and texted me all the time and i would respond. I was his crutch - he had his cake and he could eat it too. I did every crazy thing possible to try and get him back and it never worked. it took me years to get over him. Finally about a year later i decided i couldnt deal with being the "other guy" so i stopped answering and being there for him. IT was the first step i finally took to healing. For three years we didnt talk or see each other - one night we saw each other out and wound up reconciling, problem is a year and a half later i realized i changed and he stayed the same. He wound up hurting me again and i cut him off cold. havnet spoken to him again...i refused to deal with the pain of "being friends" with someone i love. I say all that to say - i finally found someone else and i fell in love. we had a great relationship for 9 months. we both had our internal issues - my insecurity from my past relationship and his dealign with being in the closet. He suddenly about a month ago broke it off. It crushed me. It hurts like hell, again, I miss him dearly and wish we could hvae made it work ( i wanted to). He wanted to stay friends and stay in contact, but from years ago i learnd my lesson. The day he broke up with me i met him at my apt...i asked him if he was sure and he said he was - but again maintained he wanted to stay in contact. he told me he needed me as a shoulder as he's dealing with his issues. I learned from my first love - staying in contact hurts too much and i couldnt do it. he got very mad that i was cutting him off entirely and stormed out of my apt. i deleted every picture, threw away everything that reminded me of him, blocked him on social media, and deleted his number from my phone. i needed to do what was best for my healing - this time i had to care about myself. Although he was very angry he did text me the next morning "I miss you already." i never said a word back. 14 days later and i still havent texted, called and he hasnt either. It still hurts a lot but its easier knowing that i have no way of halting my healing. I made sure i put this no contact in place for ME. not to get him back...but for me to heal. i miss him everyday and i still love him and i dont have ill feelings for him (except that he broke my heart) btu i know that this is the best route for me to heal. I learned from my first love that cutting the person entirely out of your life is what works best for me - i cant be someones shoulder anymore and leave my heart being shredded in the process. I love him and will alwyas love him and may never know if he misses me or not - all i know is that i want to get myself back and i want to move on. Maybe he will text me or call me someday in the future and ill decide then if i can handle responding without hurting, but for now im healing and it feels great (and some days it sucks) but im focused on my healing and knowing that one day i will be better. I also feel so proud of myself that i could cut him off cold turkey the day he broke it off. Plus i never looked like the crazy ex and begging for him to come back - i just couldnt, lesson learned. I hurt a lot but im proud and im strong and i know this now and i have to tahnk my first love for teaching me how strong i can be. We will all get thru this and we will all heal - just remember to put yourself first. That's what matters most and everything else will fall into place. i never thought i would get over my ex of 8 years, but i did and i learned to love again and i will again after this one 2
Ieris Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 @ triwill - Thanks for sharing your story. They break your heart yet expect you to hold their hand so they can wean off you?! Hell knows what they are thinking. I'm glad that you cut him off cold turkey and walked away with your dignity intact! Eventually they will become a distant memory so keep moving forward and get yourself to a better place
maryça Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Waou you are so strong, I did that for a certain period of time and asked my ex to not contact me. (Btw he cheated on me and is living with her) he was for the past 3 months texting me everyday and crying telling me that he can't live without me and that he wants only me. I tried to not answer him and I was doing good. The last 3 weeks we didn't exchange a word and I texted him to try to get my stuff back from the apartment. Now he is playing the one that doesn't care. Well I supposes I have to keep on having no contact with him and get my stuff as soon as possible
kendahke Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 the best quote I've heard about NC: NC is a marathon, not a sprint.
melonmint57 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 Your story is very inspiring! Thanks for sharing!
smellysocksuni Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 What an inspiring story. I have split from my girlfriend of a year and a half and I do feel like I will never meet anyone again. We kept in contact immediately after the BU - usually her initiating. Now we're total NC and I miss her but... I want and need to heal so NC all the way. Thank you for sharing your story.
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