preraph Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 So I should bail now after 16 months of him trying to make it right? I haven't had one circumstance since that made me question his love. The thing that has to get settled is you not feeling romantic and physical with him now. Only you know if you can ever get that back or not. I certainly would not marry a guy I didn't enjoy having sex with. Instead, you could date and marry someone who you could feel free with. Don't stay just because he's being a good boy. I'm happy that he is, but if you can't get back "the feeling," what's the point of staying? For now, I say don't make any commitments to him and live and wait and see if things get better or they get worse. Maybe you'll start to feel better in time as trust is maintained. But what if you don't? Give it more time. Don't marry him. Wait and see. Anything could happen. You could get feelings again, or he could cheat again.
elaine567 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 Since October 2015 it hasn't happened again. How do you know? 2
anna121 Posted February 4, 2017 Posted February 4, 2017 You are feeling second choice because you WERE second choice. That does not mean that he necessarily feels that way now, but he did and, really, there is no way for you to tell. I think these feelings of yours MIGHT go away, but it will take a long time. You are describing a relationship where he is going through the motions of being a devoted partner, but you are not really feeling it. I assume you are both on the older side, so it really comes down to whether you can be satisfied with a companionate rather than passionate relationship (many are) and whether you can be ok knowing that he is a very good liar.
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