rmo2380 Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 Well I am not sure where to start, I lost my companion last week and seeking advice. The last week has been hell for me. I dated this girl for a little over two years. And it came to an end last week. I did a lot for her and made lots of sacrifices. My family lives in Indiana. And she lives in North Carolina. We did the long distance thing for a little bit but we both seemed to want to be closer. So I moved to North Carolina, went to school and lived an hr an half away from her. I didnt want to crowd her too much. We saw each other a lot. Well she graduated college and moved in December I said no big deal. After the semester is over Ill move closer to you again because I know how I feel about her. Well last week she calls me and says that she loves me and I am good guy. And that I am too good for her. She says shes scared because shes not sure if I am the right guy for her since she has only been in one other serious relationship. So she wants to meet new people. For two yrs I gave her a lot. I gave her attention, I gave her support, I gave her everything I had. Since she moved to the other side of the state. Her new co workers, which dont even know me, has put the miles in the distance between us and has made her felt like i never was there. We had two good years together and everytime we saw each other and spent time together it was perfect on both ends. She would tell me how she would feel and we would have deep conversations. We completed each other. Now she is gone and I feel like I have nothing. I lost my best friend as long as a companion. We have wrote a couple emails to one another in the last week. I figure if she is confused on whether I am right for her not, than I should have some kind of play in it all to help determine whether I am. Also, she has been going out more and drinking in the last week. The whole two yrs we were together we didnt go out to the bars and get wasted very often. She wasnt a partier. Actually before I met her I was the partier and I cut it down when I met her. I just feel so lost and dont know what to do to get her back. The thought of her with another man just makes me sick. I asked her could she picture me dating someone else and meeting new girls and she said no and that she didnt want to picture it. I am so miserable that I cant even eat or sleep. I cant go to class because my thoughts are just of her. I wait by the phone check my email every five minutes hoping I will get something from her. She told me an email that I shouldnt wait and I should carry on with my everyday life. But how can I go on so easily when I have so much time and effort and love into this girl? How can she move on so easily or make it seem so easily. I just need some advice from women. Ya girls are good with stuff like this. Plus things like this might of happened to you women before. And I would really appreciate the advice.
Conundrum Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 Yo, I am a guy, but I can tell you right now to let her go. Do you really want to be with someone who may have regrets later on in life? Let her live and experience new things. I cant tell you that she will come back, but I can tell you that if you truely love her you will set her free. It will be hard, but it is something that she wants, and you must respect her. Try to not contact her. Sometimes we all need to have new experiences to make sure we know what it is we are looking for in life. I know it is hard, everyone here does. Try to eat and sleep and get involved in a new activity. Goodluck bro.
firesqueak Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 "She says shes scared because shes not sure if I am the right guy for her since she has only been in one other serious relationship. So she wants to meet new people." Hon...this is your answer to every question that you asked. You cannot force someone to love you, no matter how hard you throw yourself at them. It sucks, but that's life. I will give you advice regarding getting over her, but I will not give you advice on how to "get her back." For one thing, since she broke up with you, it's up to her whether she will be with you or not. Nothing you do or say (like begging and waiting around and pining) is going to make her want to be with you. So, now on to the grieving- listen to angry music, exercise more, and go out with your male friends. Also, make sure you give yourself plenty of space to heal. That's right, you heard me- don't try to be her best friend. Take it from a pro who is still friends with exes, it won't work. Give yourself time to cry, hate, then eventually distance will allow you to appreciate what you had. Besides, if she is not happy with the relationship, let her date some a$$ hats, and she'll come back crawling with her belly in the dirt begging you to take her back saying, "YOu were the nicest guy ever!" Trust me, as a woman myself, I've been there and done that. ;-)
Author rmo2380 Posted April 1, 2005 Author Posted April 1, 2005 well thanks for the response man. but if i let her go than to me it would be like i dont care at all. i wanna be with her really bad and its hard to let go. i do respect her. and i do respect her needs and wants but i have needs and wants and alls i want is to combine the needs and wants of each of us.. its all about unity in my eyes whether its a relationship or friendship. i cant let her go because how much she means to me man.. i understand its early in the whole breakup thing but it seems to be getting worse. i guess shock wore off and reality hit me. iits hard because we both talked about how we were "inseparatable". anyways thanks for the advice.
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