Whisky1981 Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 Long story short: Met a girl 3 months ago, things started to develope into something more serious, not just FWB but definitly something more. She stated that she dosent like that I don't have a degree, just high school, the fact is that I'm not an idiot but I never needed one because I live good enough without it (she said her mother would never accept me because of this)...actually she wanted me to go back to school (the girl) but I refused. Ok now to the problem: Last week was really nice and for the first time I actually started to have real fealings for her. For the weekend she went skiinig with her dance class and I had no problem with that. She went on friday and returned sunday. On friday, before she went skiing she had a work thing out of town and the weather was really bad on the road. We heard each other o Thursday and on Friday morning...Friday midday I sent her a message to call me before she goes skiing, so I'll know she came back safely from the job-trip. She didn'respond to that, then on suterday I sent a polite message that at least she could have sent me a message so I knew she was ok. She didn't respond to that either. She then responded me sunday evening when she came home, completly ignoring my previous messages. I made her know that I really didn't like how she ignored me for the whole weekend, like when I am not with you, you don't exsist for me. But I was always really polite, believe me. And she understands that she made something wrong at least I think so from her responses. Today I have to go dancing with her, so what to do? Should I act normal like nothing happened or should I change things a little bit so she sees something is wrong? Everything is pretty early in the relatonship but I don't want to come out as an idiot that accepts everything she does without consecuences and I don't want to be childish either. The fact is that I feel like when she dosen't have anything to do I am good for her and if she is busy with something else i.e. she's in good company, she totally ignores me, and that bothers me a lot! What would you do?
kiss_andmakeup Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 Are you sure that she doesn't consider your relationship to be "FWB?" It sounds like she likes having fun with you, but isn't interested in anything serious. You said it yourself - she's only interested in you when nothing better is going on. I think you should probably have a conversation with her about expectations for the relationship (both yours and hers)…I have a feeling that the two of you are not on the same page at all. 1
preraph Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 I can't believe people expect for people on vacation to keep texting and doing all the humdrum crap they have to do every day of their routine lives! Vacation is about getting away from ALL your obligations. Get over it. Also, did it ever occur to you she's in the mountains and there may not be any signal?
d0nnivain Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 I would ask her how her week was. The lack of contact in your non-committed state was no big deal.
acrosstheuniverse Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 I can't believe people expect for people on vacation to keep texting and doing all the humdrum crap they have to do every day of their routine lives! Vacation is about getting away from ALL your obligations. Get over it. Also, did it ever occur to you she's in the mountains and there may not be any signal? When you're into someone, texting them isn't humdrum crap. And if you're into someone, you shouldn't want to get away from them, or see them as an obligation. I wouldn't expect much texting from someone on a vacation (call charges, lack of wi-fi, busy spending time with friends and family and so forth) but it's not hard to send a few messages to let someone know you're thinking of them. Whenever I'm into someone I actively look forward to messaging them and receiving messages back, even three or four texts in a day might take four minutes out of your day TOTAL, and even the busiest most exciting day isn't too busy to cram four minutes in, most people spend that on the toilet. I would understand if somebody literally didn't have their phone with them at all or couldn't get signal, but if they had the ability to make contact and didn't, for several days, I'd presume they weren't interested in me and respond accordingly. When I went away to Amsterdam with my three best mates I texted my boyfriend back home even though it cost me much more than your average text to do so. Maybe three or four messages in a day I think, but I do remember on the way home being literally unable to contact him because a) I have a cap on my bill and I'd spent all of my limit on maps to get around b) there was NO signal at all on the ferry and no wi-fi, and I remember going to bed knowing I had no way of getting in touch and feeling momentarily sad I couldn't say goodnight. To me, that's how you act when you're into someone. First thing I did when I landed back in the UK was call him and I'm not even a clingy person! OP, I didn't read anywhere that you had agreed to be exclusive or made things official, have you thought of doing that if you are really so sure you're more than FWB? Make sure you're on the same page? She might be one of those girls who expect a man to initiate 'the talk' and be increasingly frustrated because you haven't, maybe to the extent of distancing herself, or trying to make you miss and want to be around her. It's playing games, sure, and she should bring it up if she's bothered, and maybe she's just not that into you after all. But at least if you bring it up and talk to her about it, you will know where you stand.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 It sounds to me as though you're interested in something more serious with her, but she's not interested in that with you. If she really liked you, she'd definitely text at least a little bit on vacation, and maybe even send you a happy vacation picture.
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