edwardelric316 Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 I had always been close to my mum. I was sent abroad for college. I was always in touch with my mum. A year after my departure mum and had a daughter. I was happy to become a brother. One mum told me that her friend's son (lets call him Dave for now) was staying with them for some time till he got settled in college and all. She called him her second son. She insisted him to stay with her till he completed college, dad too was ok with it. Now he has been living with them for 3 years. After finishing my education I returned home. I met Dave. He was 20 years, 6'6 tall and muscular. I met my baby sis. My father was away on a business trip as usual. Mum was 6 months pregnant again but this time with twins. Life was going good. I found a new job and was going to move out soon. After a couple of weeks I came home to find Dave and mom ****ing each other. Soon after I did some spying, going through her messages and emails in her phone which she never signed out, I found out that he had been been ****ing for 3 years. At first I was mad about it. I loved my parents and I didnt want to see them get divorced so I didnt say anything to my father. I confronted her and she said she loved my dad but Dave took care of her physical needs. She knew Dave was ****ing other girls too. It felt weird knowing that a guy couple of years younger than you is screwing your mom almost every night in the next bedroom. I thought a lot about it and decided to not say a word to my dad. Mum had her needs too and dad wasnt good enough, he used to be home mostly on weekends. A couple of nights ago I heard my mum and Dave talking in bed. I found out that my sister was Dave's child and the twins growing in mums belly were his too. I never thought she would go this far. How could she do such a thing? She is 44 and he is 20. Pleasure was ok, understood, but carrying another mans babies who is younger than your son, thats wrong. I am wondering whether to tell my father or not. What should I do?
stillafool Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 I think you should tell your mother that either she tells your father what she and Dave have been doing or you will. Tell her you will give her 2 weeks to come clean to your Dad or you will tell him. Your poor, poor father is out working like a dog while his wife is home having babies with a 20 year old. Don't let your Dad stay in the dark about this as he deserves a good life with someone who truly loves him because your mother does not. 3
Author edwardelric316 Posted February 4, 2015 Author Posted February 4, 2015 I think you should tell your mother that either she tells your father what she and Dave have been doing or you will. Tell her you will give her 2 weeks to come clean to your Dad or you will tell him. Your poor, poor father is out working like a dog while his wife is home having babies with a 20 year old. Don't let your Dad stay in the dark about this as he deserves a good life with someone who truly loves him because your mother does not. Thanks dude. I told her that im giving her a weeks time but she told me that she cant let dad know the truth since he has suffered a stroke before and it could be risky for him. Now even I feel guilty that I cant tell dad but deep within I think my mum's lying about his stroke. But I cant risk it. He is my father after all.
Light Breeze Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 If you think your Mom's lying then ask your dad about his condition. Play it cool so he doesn't suspect something's wrong. Then, decide your next move from there. OP, I'm really sorry about your situation. Your father deserves much more than this. 2
victoriaparker739 Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 If your fathers condition is true then you must not tell him. Have you tried telling Dave to move out? From my point of view I think he is blackmailing your mother. It must have been a one time thing between them and he must have had some proof of her affair.
stillafool Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 If your fathers condition is true then you must not tell him. Have you tried telling Dave to move out? From my point of view I think he is blackmailing your mother. It must have been a one time thing between them and he must have had some proof of her affair. I don't think Dave is blackmailing her she has admitted to her son that she loves the father but Dave takes care of her physical needs. The mother likes having sex with this 20 year old man. OP I agree with Light Breeze to ask your Dad about his condition and if this is true. It would seem if your mom was really concerned about your Dad having a stroke she would stop messing around with Dave. Suppose your Dad walks in on them? Why isn't she worried about him having a stroke seeing them? I somehow don't believe her. 1
Standard-Fare Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 If this story is real (it's pretty crazy), I think you have to keep yourself out of this environment for a long while until this drama settles down. It's very complicated, emotionally, and you don't have to put yourself in the middle of it or take responsibility for anything or anyone. It's really NOT your problem. The truth will come to light eventually and your parents and Dave will have to handle that in the way they see fit. My guess is your father already knows the truth (at least deep down), whether or not he's confronted your mom yet. If I were you I'd remain at your college as much as possible and try to find other places to stay during the holidays. Tell your mom everything at home is just too messy for you to deal with. Hopefully there will be some kind of resolution down the line, and you'll be able to have a solid relationship with these kids, as well as both of your parents. But in the meantime you have no obligation to ride out this complicated drama.
Light Breeze Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 If this story is real (it's pretty crazy), I think you have to keep yourself out of this environment for a long while until this drama settles down. It's very complicated, emotionally, and you don't have to put yourself in the middle of it or take responsibility for anything or anyone. It's really NOT your problem. The truth will come to light eventually and your parents and Dave will have to handle that in the way they see fit. My guess is your father already knows the truth (at least deep down), whether or not he's confronted your mom yet. If I were you I'd remain at your college as much as possible and try to find other places to stay during the holidays. Tell your mom everything at home is just too messy for you to deal with. Hopefully there will be some kind of resolution down the line, and you'll be able to have a solid relationship with these kids, as well as both of your parents. But in the meantime you have no obligation to ride out this complicated drama. If OP's relationship with his parents is anything like mine, then I disagree. This is his family you're talking about, it's like saying that he should stay away from his parents who are hurting each other because "it's not his problem". I don't think it's right to turn a blind eye on this issue. Really bad consequences happen to people you love because of apathy. What if his dad finds out and discovered his son knew but just avoided the "drama"? Tell him, I dunno, it's not my problem? What if his dad actually had that heart condition, and like stillafool said, walks on his wife and Dave screwing and the worst happens. What then?
Standard-Fare Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 If OP's relationship with his parents is anything like mine, then I disagree. This is his family you're talking about, it's like saying that he should stay away from his parents who are hurting each other because "it's not his problem". I don't think it's right to turn a blind eye on this issue. Really bad consequences happen to people you love because of apathy. What if his dad finds out and discovered his son knew but just avoided the "drama"? Tell him, I dunno, it's not my problem? What if his dad actually had that heart condition, and like stillafool said, walks on his wife and Dave screwing and the worst happens. What then? I'm not encouraging apathy or cutting ties. I'm saying he's not responsible for cleaning up the mess his mother made. She needs to decide how to deal with this with her husband, and the OP shouldn't have to be involved with that. He should step aside during the peak of this drama, and return when things are more calm. Of course there's a risk this situation will just continue the way it has for several more years. If that happens, the husband would obviously be choosing to turn a blind eye to the facts in front of him. There's not a chance he'd have zero knowledge of the affair, and zero suspicions that the children weren't his own. It would be sad if the husband just accepted all that without making changes, but again, that would be his choice. And if that's the way it rolls out, the OP can decide how he wants to be involved in that family situation.
StrangerThanFiction Posted February 4, 2015 Posted February 4, 2015 I think the dad should know. At the very least for his own health, the alleged stroke aside. The mum is very obviously not using protection while with this dude and OP stated that his mum knows he's sleeping with other women. I think it's reasonable to assume he's not using protection with them either so who knows what he could be picking up from them and giving to the mum, who can then give it to the dad. What a way to find out your wife is cheating on you when you go to the doctor and come back with an STI. I just don't think it's fair to the dad.
Author edwardelric316 Posted February 5, 2015 Author Posted February 5, 2015 If this story is real (it's pretty crazy), I think you have to keep yourself out of this environment for a long while until this drama settles down. It's very complicated, emotionally, and you don't have to put yourself in the middle of it or take responsibility for anything or anyone. It's really NOT your problem. The truth will come to light eventually and your parents and Dave will have to handle that in the way they see fit. My guess is your father already knows the truth (at least deep down), whether or not he's confronted your mom yet. If I were you I'd remain at your college as much as possible and try to find other places to stay during the holidays. Tell your mom everything at home is just too messy for you to deal with. Hopefully there will be some kind of resolution down the line, and you'll be able to have a solid relationship with these kids, as well as both of your parents. But in the meantime you have no obligation to ride out this complicated drama. I cant leave my mother in a situation like this. I'm angry for what she has done but I still love her and she loves me too. From what I've seen she loves Dave as much as she loves my father but Dave doesnt care about anything other than sex. I want to be there for her when Dave leaves her or when she realizes her mistake. She can't share it with dad so I have to be there for her. 1
victoriaparker739 Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 You are just about my sons age, which is why I feel really sorry for you. But even after what your mother has done you are still love her. My son would have cut all ties with me. It shows that you are a real man with a kind heart. I think you should not tell your father about her since his condition is not good. Frankly speaking, if I was in your mothers place and my son still loved me and would show me my mistake, I would stop everything just for his sake. Its a mother son bondw hich is thestrongest bond in the world. Just love her and continue to care for her. She will change. Give it some time.
Author edwardelric316 Posted June 7, 2015 Author Posted June 7, 2015 Today my mum and Dave's twins become one month old. Dad is very happy about the kids. All of us love them. I have finally decided not to tell dad that they are Dave's kids.
petsrule Posted June 10, 2015 Posted June 10, 2015 Don't know your situation, but if that's what you feel is the right thing to do then we're all behind you every step of the way
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