googy1 Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 I've been with my partner now for 6 half years. Its never been easy. Hes very critical and angry about being in care during his childhood and now talks to his family maybe every couple of years. He doesnt see any of his family. When we got together he had finished a relationship with his ex about 8 months before. She got pregnant with someone else and they finished, however have remained friends. From the beginning he refused to cut ties with her when her messages and letters obviously made me angry and suspicious. He never did. I have left him once as he arranged to meet up with her, I was invited at the last minute. We are now back together and I have moved back in but 2 days ago saw her name on his text list. i saw over his shoulder when he was texting someone else. He also goes into the other room to answer her texts. This has gone from making me angry to me just feeling extremely hurt and wanting out. I cant afford a place on my own at the moment so would need to get another job and move out of the area. So im stuck here saving money to leave and pretending we have a normal relationship. I cant bring it up as whenever I have in the past he has hit the roof, 'were just friends ' youre jealous ' etc, and basically shuts me up. He makes me feel bad for bringing it up even though deep down I know its wrong. She sends him dvds of romantic films/ comedies always about couples having children. hes currently unemployed and i cant help thinking im just here to pay the bills. She lives miles away but comes back to see daughter who lives with the father so they could meet up as he has no work commitments. I just want to know has anybody else just knuckled down and saved up to get out? Did it work? You cant talk to him as he just gets angry and insults me leaving me angry back. Help.
WhatYouWantToHear Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 Are you trolling us? Did you even read what you wrote? I cant afford a place on my own at the moment ... hes currently unemployed and i cant help thinking im just here to pay the bills So you can't afford to move out and live by yourself, but you can afford to support him and yourself? Make your fake posts more logical next time please. 1
stillafool Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 After moving out the first time why did you move back? You were already out of there and should have moved forward. If you are paying his bills you will never be able to move. Move back to where you were and start over again there without him.
todreaminblue Posted February 6, 2015 Posted February 6, 2015 (edited) Hello googy....it can seem overwhelming when you really want to leave but cant....he could be innocent in all this... i suggest you really talk to him about it...tell him the romantic movies about pregnancy.....are making you feel insecure..... ask him to please be calm and understanding before you speak to him and say we really need to talk this out because you are considering leaving if you cant talk this through, because the relationship isnt working for you.... do not say this lightly....if you say this...say it once and once only..... to me its a red flag if a guy cant communicate without getting aggressive or ridiculing or puts you down for no apparent reason other than to make you feel bad.....thoughtless.......had an ex like that when i was young.....the breakdown of our relationship came from his aggression..self serving ways.and lack of communication ....immature in other words.... try to communicate again pick a time when you feel he is relaxed and you are relaxed and determined to see this conversation through to what end it comes too and ready to communicate....turn the tv off and anything else...put the phones away....and talk quietly....non accusatory...tell him how you feel and when and why...be simple and to the point ...and not that its all his fault....but your feelings count..............................deb Edited February 6, 2015 by todreaminblue
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