hunk Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 Any advice or input here would be greatly appreciated. I hooked up with this girl maybe 2 or so years ago when we were younger. Since then we've had a weird on/off kind of thing going where I could NEVER figure out what was going on in her head. She's been away for the past few years for work, and has messaged me, commented on pictures of me saying things like "looking good ;)" etc. She is very stiff in text messages and online convo, but extremely easy to talk to in real life. She messaged me last week saying she was in town and would like to catch up, to which I organized that weekend. We had an awesome night, got along really well , she even asked to come back to my place to shoot pool. My issue is that I get NO physical reads on her at all. I have ZERO idea how she feels about me, despite acting interested in most other ways. She acts extremely stiff/nervous even around me physically so I kind of didn't try anything, when she left I wanted to go in for a kiss (barely did) but she was so evasive and just turned around and left awkwardly, she barely said bye and just got straight on her phone. I texted her after (I was a bit drunk at this point) and this was the convo - Me: "I wanted to kiss you" Her: "Yeah, i have a feeling...I didn't want to rush anything. Me: "A feeling?" Her: "Yeah. mm i dunno" Her: "i'm really s**t with words" Me: "That's cool. I just wanted to kiss you haha. I don't wanna come off too full on if you're not feeling it or anything. But let's hang out soon" She hasn't responded to this and it's been 2 days. I have no idea what to think, at all. On one hand I feel like leaving it, but on the other hand I really want to see her again and am considering asking her out for coffee or something maybe tomorrow or the next day. Did I blow it with those messages? They were (in my eyes) an attempt at gauging her interest in me because I seriously cannot get anything from her physically. I was also being honest, and didn't want her to think I wasn't interested in her physically. If she'd given me any physical signs I would've just gone straight for a kiss. I'm also concerned she might've thought I was just interested in sleeping with her. I'm completely on the fence about whether to message her again because I'm worried about getting silence and coming off overly keen. I don't know why she'd want to hang out with me after 2 years and even invite herself back to my place if she wasn't interested, i'm just very worried those messages killed it. As I said, any input would be great. Thanks
preraph Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 I think your message was fine. I mean, she's being very confusing, by any account. She acts very interested in you and asks you out. You know she can be kind of stiff sometimes, so maybe she is a little weird, you know, but I mean, all you can do is try to break through that with her and see if she's up for it or not. I think it's great you texted her you just wanted to kiss. Her reply was completely incomprehensible, so you're not imagining that she's a bad texter. I don't like the "mm I dunno." As if she's never thought you might want to get romantic, right? Well, I guess all you can do is see how she responds now. I think you were clear that you weren't just trying to get in her pants by that text. So just see how she responds. She needs to buck up and spit it out if she doesn't think of you that way, you know. I guess you could open that door for her and go, "Hey, if you don't feel romantic toward me, you can just tell me. I promise not to jump off a cliff or anything."
todreaminblue Posted February 3, 2015 Posted February 3, 2015 well if she is hard to talk to over text and easy to talk to in person....do just that...talk to her in person...admit you like her, invite her on a date......not at your home not at her home...somewhere public and where you can both relax get to knwo each other.....and how you comminicate together..save the kiss for about three dates in....dont overthink it just ask her out...and be a man with a plan........deb
Author hunk Posted February 3, 2015 Author Posted February 3, 2015 Thanks a tonne guys. Preraph, I think the "mmm.. i dunno" message was her kind of writing out her inability to communicate what she was properly thinking - that's the vibe i got from it anyway, but you might be right. And she is DEFINITELY weird, she's not a typical city girl, has few friends, barely uses social media. She works on cattle stations and barely ever wears makeup etc but i really like her for that and we have a bizzarre amount in common. She still knows she is extremely good looking though, and I know she's extremely sexual. I'm going to send her a message saying "come for coffee tomorrow, i've got the afternoon off" and that's it. If I get nothing that's my answer and closure, which is really all i want at this point. Is a message like this ok?
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