Do people really find someone to date from free online dating sites?

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

I met my recent boyfriends...

...on a local restaurant review website, complaining about terrible service.

...while helping my friend repair a microwave.

...during a federal criminal investigation.

 

How are any of those better or worse than using OKC? The point is you can find someone to date anywhere. Online websites tell you nothing about the quality of a person, they're just convenient ways to meet hundreds of people you'd never meet otherwise. All they're doing is creating more opportunities for connections. Hell, I know multiple people who met their SOs/spouses from the friends of people they met on online dating website (i.e. they went out with someone and ended up falling for their friend, roommate, etc).

[GH101]

Are any of you in or near Philadelphia though? I hear its not as popular here.

[CrazyCatLady79]

I met 20 guys total between using OkCupid and Match.com. I started in Feb. 2014, and ended my search in early Sept. of 2014. So I only had a short period of time on those sites (7 months) but in my experience of those 20:

 

-8 guys were interested in pursuing a relationship, and set up dates consistently each week. (5 from OKC/3 from Match)

-6 guys never called back after the first date. (3 from OKC/3 from Match

-2 guys outright asked for a FWB arrangement only. (1 OKC/1 from Match)

-10 guys in total were the ones to break off contact at some point. Either directly or by fading out. (6 from OKC/ 4 from Match)

-9 guys in total were ones I broke off contact with at some point. Always directly. (6 from OKC/ 3 from Match)

-1 guy resulted in a serious relationship that I'm currently still with. Been together for 5 months now! (Met on OKC)

 

 

Stories like this give me hope, thank you!

 

I've had rubbish luck on these sites (see my latest post!) and I'm not sure whether it's the way to find someone for everyone. Seems it works for some and not others. If you enjoy it and find dates, then continue. If you're constantly let down and disappointed then delete your profiles for now and maybe go back to it after a break.

[katinlc]

I met 20 guys total between using OkCupid and Match.com. I started in Feb. 2014, and ended my search in early Sept. of 2014. So I only had a short period of time on those sites (7 months) but in my experience of those 20:

 

-8 guys were interested in pursuing a relationship, and set up dates consistently each week. (5 from OKC/3 from Match)

-6 guys never called back after the first date. (3 from OKC/3 from Match

-2 guys outright asked for a FWB arrangement only. (1 OKC/1 from Match)

-10 guys in total were the ones to break off contact at some point. Either directly or by fading out. (6 from OKC/ 4 from Match)

-9 guys in total were ones I broke off contact with at some point. Always directly. (6 from OKC/ 3 from Match)

-1 guy resulted in a serious relationship that I'm currently still with. Been together for 5 months now! (Met on OKC)

 

 

I didn't keep stats like this, but I would say this is very similar to my experience. I started online dating after Thanksgiving and ended online dating in August. In that time, I did briefly date one guy for 2-3 months, but other than that I would say my stats were similar to above. It is exhausting. I was online a total of 8 months (and off about 2 of that while I was dating the one guy) and I was getting ready to give it up and take a break when my fiancé entered the picture.

[BluEyeL]

Wow, 8 months to fiancee really not bad at all! Congrats!

[katinlc]

Wow, 8 months to fiancee really not bad at all! Congrats!

 

I know, right? I'm still kind of shocked but have no doubt he's the one I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with.

 

 

If you read my past posts, you'll remember that it was that douche that I dated 2 months that originally brought me here. If I only knew what was waiting for me, I would have never wasted tears on him!

[BluEyeL]

I know, right? I'm still kind of shocked but have no doubt he's the one I'm meant to spend the rest of my life with.

 

 

If you read my past posts, you'll remember that it was that douche that I dated 2 months that originally brought me here. If I only knew what was waiting for me, I would have never wasted tears on him!

We have to remember that whenever something doesn't work out it's because something better for us is out there!! I'm so happy for you!

[Dybbuk]

@CrazyCatLady79: I think taking breaks now and then are essential to any form of dating (online or otherwise). The thing with dating is it can mess with our heads in how we feel about ourselves, and frustrate the hell out of us. It's best to try dating for chunks of time, and when things don't pan out and you find yourself getting frustrated/angry/bitter/sad/defeated TAKE A BREAK. Trying to date with all those negative vibes just don't make you an appealing person to be around. Then when you feel like you're up to it, try again.

 

As you read, I dated 20 guys and half of them bowed out for whatever reason. One of those guys I really really liked and was hoping to start a relationship with. I had to take a break after him because I was upset about him fading out. I just didn't want to meet anyone else and I was trying to find someone 'like him' and that's not healthy!!!

 

Took a long break for 2 months. Got back into my routine of running, life outside of dating and when I was back into positive mode I started dating again... met 5 guys that all didn't work out for whatever reason... BUT THEN... when all seemed lost I met my current BF. Gotta experience the bad to really appreciate and recognize when you have something good and genuine with someone.

 

@katinlc: Congrats on the fiance! hahahaha I have a ridiculously good memory so I didn't realize until now that I kept mental stats! Plus collecting and keeping data is part of my job so it just bleeds into other components of my life LOL

[GH101]

Do people really meet decent people on dating sites and end up in relationships? I was with one guy for 5 months and found out he was drug dealer.

[Toodaloo]

Do people really meet decent people on dating sites and end up in relationships? I was with one guy for 5 months and found out he was drug dealer.

 

I am going to retract what I said before about it being a disaster for me.

 

Since posting that I have met a couple of really great guys. One of which I am particularly interested in. I have deactivated my profile for the time being as it was getting a bit much but I am OK with reactivating it in a month or so if things don't go to plan.

[GH101]

I am going to retract what I said before about it being a disaster for me.

 

Since posting that I have met a couple of really great guys. One of which I am particularly interested in. I have deactivated my profile for the time being as it was getting a bit much but I am OK with reactivating it in a month or so if things don't go to plan.

 

Good for you, I just feel like everyone on these sites are insane or extremely picky.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Yeah I met my ex on POF, only dated for 5/6 months but the reason it ended wasn't anything to do with meeting online, I could just have easily bumped into him in a bar as we ran in the same circles.

 

Met my current bf on tinder January 2014, moved in together six months later and it's going brilliantly. I also met a bunch of other great guys on there who I went on dates with and were great people, although I wasn't right for them.

 

I was very picky and anyone who didn't treat me with respect and interest from day one got deleted, so I waded through loads of men just after sex or who would have messed me around, being ruthless and not wasting time on people I didn't get a good feeling from meant the decent prospects naturally rose to the top.

 

At one point I was going on 2/3 first dates per week even being picky, it probably helps I'm attractive (maybe a 7 but I know how to dress and make the most of myself) and with a career so I had a lot of options. Couldn't sustain that very long though, after a couple months I was exhausted and just about to delete all of my profiles and stay single a while when I met my now-bf.

[Toodaloo]

Good for you, I just feel like everyone on these sites are insane or extremely picky.

 

I guess I am a bit of both

 

You do have to sort through a heck of a lot of chaff to find the good ones though.

 

I have had all sorts. Sometimes it gets to me but I try to let it wash over me.

 

I have had guys calling me weird and crazy because I have told them I have made alternative arrangements after they took over a week to get back and no my life is not on hold for a random stranger that I have never met.

 

The block facility on my phone has been very useful...

 

I had one chap blow up and get really angry and insulting when I explained that I was seeing someone. Hellllloooo you didn't ask and it is after all a dating web site!

 

I have had people sending me pictures of them masturbating and so on and so forth...

 

I have had men younger than my step/ foster children trying to "hook up" with me... shudder...

 

Then every now and then you meet a gem. Takes work to find them though I am afraid.

[PegNosePete]

Good for you, I just feel like everyone on these sites are insane or extremely picky.

Insane... yeah maybe. But if everyone seems extremely picky then there is probably a reason for that. Most likely your profile could use some improvements. They are not "picky", they just don't like the sound of you. Usually that is not a problem with you yourself, it's a problem with the way you have written about yourself.

[acrosstheuniverse]

Being picky is a good thing. You're searching for a person you'd be willing to wake up to for the rest of your life (if you're after a relationship), why wouldn't you be picky? I turned down guys for all kinds of things. I would much rather be single then trying to force myself to feel something for someone I just wasn't into enough. There's stupid levels of picky like 'only dates blondes with blue eyes over 6ft with tan skin, no kids and a brilliant career' which disadvantage the dater as they shrink their pool down to almost nothing, but on the whole being choosy is not a bad thing.

[kendahke]

I heard yesterday on the radio that couples who meet online have a higher divorce rate than married couples who didn't meet that way.

 

I don't know how true that is.

 

considering the amount of time that online dating has been in operation, I'd say that I'd be skeptical of that amount. If online dating had been around for over 100 years, then I'd be a little less skeptical.

 

All of the married couples that I know of who met online are still married 10+ years.

[SilentiousBird]

I've met a lot of guys through Okcupid. Some of my good male friends I met that way.

 

I only dated one guy I met from there, and he turned out to be a little... unstable. After two months he threatened to hit me and kept calling me "bitch" as a pet name. I broke up with him and he harassed me for nearly 6 months afterward.

 

Haven't been back to a dating site since.

 

On the other hand, two friends of mine also met on OKC, and have been dating for over 4 years now. *Shrug*

[Syberia]

I met my wife online, but the site in question had absolutely nothing to do with dating.