Do people really find someone to date from free online dating sites?

[GH101]

I have trouble just finding guys to go on a date with me in the first place, let alone actually starting to be in a relationship with them. Do the sites work out good for others?

[d0nnivain]

It's possible to meet people all sorts of places. I met my husband in a bar, someplace CW says is a terrible place to meet people. I can't imagine free OLD sites are any worse or better.

[kendahke]

I have trouble just finding guys to go on a date with me in the first place, let alone actually starting to be in a relationship with them. Do the sites work out good for others?

 

I did. I've had hit or miss experiences on OKC... started talking with a man last week and met him on Saturday and I really like him. We're meeting up again today after work.

[Ninjainpajamas]

Dates should come easy or easier...relationships unfortunately, probably not so easily, but maybe a short-term relationshipy kind of thing.

[myheartaches]

It could work. I just needed help moving on from a broken heart, so I joined OKC. I didn't connect with many guys, but there were a few that I did!! You will find that some guys are sooooo dry when texting. Anyways, I did connect so well with this one guy, and when I finally met him, NO physical attraction that's the problem with online dating. I didn't wanna lead him on so I was going slow with the relationship after that just to see if I could grow that attraction. He then said I was moving way too slow (not knowing i wasn't attracted) and got pissed and it didn't work... so yeah give it a go!

[Mrin]

I met lots of women to date from OKC and dated then. But as it happens, I met my GF in Match.

[Toodaloo]

My best friend met her husband on PoF.

 

For me its been a disaster! Not met one single chap and only spoken to about 3 one who didn't bother after 2 messages and the other two were very unsuitable!

 

I guess its just the luck of the draw.

 

You have to have a certain attitude to do these things I think!

 

Give it a shot - but do not take it to heart.

[amaysngrace]

I heard yesterday on the radio that couples who meet online have a higher divorce rate than married couples who didn't meet that way.

 

I don't know how true that is.

[angel.eyes]

I have several friends who are happily married to guys they met on OK Cupid.

[oberkeat]

I was on match.com for six months and got zero dates. I did not renew my membership. On the other hand, I get dates from OKC fairly regularly (though I haven't had any chemistry with the girls I've met and none of the dates have turned into relationships.) I don't know what, if anything, that says about paid vs. free.

[Toodaloo]

I heard yesterday on the radio that couples who meet online have a higher divorce rate than married couples who didn't meet that way.

 

I don't know how true that is.

 

I hope not her husband is lovely! First one of her men that I haven't wanted to stab through the heart with a tea spoon...

[carhill]

Now that 'online' is so mainstream and people in general are tethered to information devices 24/7 it's only natural for folks to find dates online and through both free and paid sites.

 

I guess I could see traction for, back when my exW and I met online when dating sites were new, that it was more the fringes of society who met that way, as the internet was relatively young back then and people predominantly met in person in everyday life.

 

Most of my social circle met their spouses in real life interactions. I say most because I'm sure there may be an exception somewhere but I simply don't know about it. I happened to be single a long time so tried everything and online dating was one of those things. I was also into computers and the internet more than my friends so it grew out of that. I also traveled to other countries and continents so was open to more options.

 

I think the only women whom I met who weren't on 'free' dating sites were after my exW and I separated and that was on Yahoo before it got swallowed by Match.com back in 2010 or thereabouts. I didn't find the value to be sufficient so let the subscription expire with the merger and haven't gone back to OLD since, other than to do demographic research for postings on LS.

[katinlc]

I was on match and POF at the same time. I had lots of dates from POF and very few from match...but in the end I met my fiancé on match. So, even though I had little "luck" on match ultimately I had success there.

 

 

I really think it is luck of the draw. Most of the people on match also had POF accounts, but my fiancé did not.

[Dybbuk]

I met 20 guys total between using OkCupid and Match.com. I started in Feb. 2014, and ended my search in early Sept. of 2014. So I only had a short period of time on those sites (7 months) but in my experience of those 20:

 

-8 guys were interested in pursuing a relationship, and set up dates consistently each week. (5 from OKC/3 from Match)

-6 guys never called back after the first date. (3 from OKC/3 from Match

-2 guys outright asked for a FWB arrangement only. (1 OKC/1 from Match)

-10 guys in total were the ones to break off contact at some point. Either directly or by fading out. (6 from OKC/ 4 from Match)

-9 guys in total were ones I broke off contact with at some point. Always directly. (6 from OKC/ 3 from Match)

-1 guy resulted in a serious relationship that I'm currently still with. Been together for 5 months now! (Met on OKC)

 

I tell you all of this so you know it's pretty even across the board. People who are on a paid site are also on free sites most of the time, but those on free sites might not be on the paid ones. You meet good guys on both types of sites, and creeps on both. It's also pretty tough finding guys who are relationship material and ready to move forward. The issue with OLD is it's like a smorgasbord of available people all the time! So you meet someone, and there is just one teensy weensy thing that bothers you about them, you can just log back into your account and resume emailing the masses again.

 

I will say this. Women have it so much easier than men. I met guys who have been on those sites for YEARS (3-4+). By 7 months in I was already exhausted with the whole OLD process. If you are having issues with getting dates in the first place it might just be what you put in your profile. I used to see women's profiles that would make me intimidated to be alone on a date with her!!! Some women have a tendency to put out he negatives first:

 

-"I don't like liars/cheaters. Please don't play games. I need a man who is mature. Don't bother sending me a message if you dress like this. No offense but... yadda yadda."

 

^I know women do that to protect themselves, but I feel that you scare away good men too because they feel like they have to prove themselves right out of the gate when in reality they just want to meet a girl and see if they like her well enough in person. If this sounds like your profile, YES include what you want but do so in a positive and constructive manner so you can at least get some emails/dates going. Revise it to say something like:

 

-"I really appreciate men who are honest and genuine! If you don't like the whole "playing games" concept in a relationship then I'm your girl. Guys who are mature with an occasional silly outburst win big points... etc etc."

 

Project yourself as a positive, secure and fun individual. Too many profiles of women come off as a negative, distrusting, insecure, and uptight type of person. Also profile pics make or break a profile. If you don't have a clear picture of your face (where you are SMILING), nor a full body photo a lot of men are not going to take the gamble and waste a date night on a woman he might not be attracted to. Be honest, be real and keep trying. It takes time, and loads of failed dates but eventually OLD is a great tool to meet someone you may have not crossed paths with that you are totally compatible with.

 

Good luck!

[MissBee]

I have trouble just finding guys to go on a date with me in the first place, let alone actually starting to be in a relationship with them. Do the sites work out good for others?

 

Yes.

 

I've met two of my boyfriends that way and also have had dates or casual relationships where we weren't in an exclusive relationship but saw each other from there. Of course it happens...a lot. A lot of people meet, date, have relationships and even marry folks they've met on free sites.

 

I've joined a paid site once and it was totally useless and I met no one from there whereas I ended up in a relationship with a guy from the free site and went on 3 dates, one guy was nuts, but the other two were fine.

[CarrieT]

I met my husband on a BDSM kink site.

[Mrin]

I was on match and POF at the same time. I had lots of dates from POF and very few from match...but in the end I met my fiancé on match. So, even though I had little "luck" on match ultimately I had success there.

 

 

I really think it is luck of the draw. Most of the people on match also had POF accounts, but my fiancé did not.

 

Same experience for me with OKC and Match. Many more dates from OKC but only real relationships came from Match. I just chalked it up to chance.

[losangelena]

My BF of five months and I met on OKC.

 

I don't quite understand the online stigma. We do so much online, why not find people to date on there? Sure, there are plenty of weirdos or people who claim to be someone other than who they really are, but A) don't people do that type of "best foot forward" thing in traditional dating, too? B) if you're a generally sincere individual, you'll eventually find likeminded people.

[EgoJoe]

Current and previous girlfriend were met on PoF. I've had offline success too. The second time around on PoF I was very very cautious for crazy and ended up meeting a busy professional woman.

 

 

I text then call shortly after getting a number to set a date to avoid lack of attraction woes after a ton of contact.

[Mrin]

My BF of five months and I met on OKC.

 

I don't quite understand the online stigma. We do so much online, why not find people to date on there? Sure, there are plenty of weirdos or people who claim to be someone other than who they really are, but A) don't people do that type of "best foot forward" thing in traditional dating, too? B) if you're a generally sincere individual, you'll eventually find likeminded people.

 

I agree with you. The most dating relationships I had were with people I had met online. Those I met through friends etc... honestly, felt like square peg in round hole. Not terribly so but they just weren't as good of matches for me as those that I had met online. Go figger!

[RedRobin]

I think you'll find that people who are serious about finding a relationship will more likely be on paid sites.

 

 

Free sites are for the phishers, confused, or just curious folks looking for low hanging fruit and easy pickings. You'll probably get some dates, but I doubt anything long term.

 

 

I tried OkC for awhile long ago, but gave it up after the endless 'ur hot' emails. I'd only go back there if I were interested in something short term or hooking up. Never for a relationship.

[MissBee]

I think you'll find that people who are serious about finding a relationship will more likely be on paid sites.

 

 

Free sites are for the phishers, confused, or just curious folks looking for low hanging fruit and easy pickings. You'll probably get some dates, but I doubt anything long term.

 

 

I tried OkC for awhile long ago, but gave it up after the endless 'ur hot' emails. I'd only go back there if I were interested in something short term or hooking up. Never for a relationship.

 

That hasn't been my experience funnily.

 

The paid site I was on was completely useless and the quality of the men seemed considerably less than say OKC.

[CarrieT]

That hasn't been my experience funnily.

 

The paid site I was on was completely useless and the quality of the men seemed considerably less than say OKC.

 

I was the same way; my best relationships came from the free sites with nary a bite from the paid ones...

[BluEyeL]

I was on OKC, match, eharmony, chemistry.com. I also joined it's just lunch and went to singles meetups.

 

I dated for a total of 18 months, on and off, met a total of about 30 men and I finally met my boyfriend on match.com. The other paid sites weren't good at all. Among the paid sites, definitely match.com is the best. Everyone is on match. Eharmony is the worst.

 

OKC was fine in general, but I didn't resist there more than 3 days, lots of sexual content in messages. But enough emails and three dates came out of those 3 days. I've never been on PoF, I always thought that site was too skanky.

 

BTW, I never got a second date through It's Just Lunch. Concept is not working well because we don't see pictures. It's too random. I got a short relationship/summer fling from meetup. In general, I met decent people on match, not just my current BF. But it was pretty darn tough finding a long term serious relationship with someone with as little baggage as possible. By the time I met him I just about went nuts with frustration and I was very burnt out.

Edited February 3, 2015 by BluEyeL

[RedRobin]

^^ That's been my experience as well. Lots of sexual content in messages on OKC, and down on their luck guys looking for opportunities with women they'd never meet IRL. Never tried PoF or Tinder. Same demographic there, if you ask me. I tried EHarmony, and there were like, three guys in my age group there. Those same three guys were on Match, so no sense keeping that membership.

 

 

Met my last BF on Match. We were together almost a year. Things did not end well with that one. My previous BF I met at Meetup. He and I split amicably and we are very good friends. He met his current girlfriend on Match. That's where I was last night, as a matter of fact. At her place showing them pics of my recent trip to India. So yea, if/when I do any online dating, it's only with the paid sites.