Illusion24 Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 So, How interesting that the next day I get all this feedback when you guys, I've known all along I what I wanted to do... Life is full of surprises but I was tired of settling and still urning for more...So update, this is how it went: He called me and of course he heard it in my voice...He asked me what was wrong and guess what...I let it out!! I told him that for some reason my need to be alone is overpowering me...I told him I care for him and it's not fair to be with him and make him go through pain because of my selfishness....Yes I admit, I've been selfish but I'm tired of living for others and not for me...He gave me a guilt trip and made me feel like the scum of the earth...He said I would NEVER find someone else to love me, to do the things he did for me and even called me immature for a 23 year old...I was like WTF?? Does it make you feel better to put me down, well go ahead make yourself feel better but I will tell you this at least I wasn't living a lie and I'm letting you go so you can find the right person for you because it's obvious I'm not the one... He screamed, cried..I cried but not for me...for him...It was so weird, I didn't feel that my tears were sincere so it made the discion so much clearer...He said I never loved him and that I will regret this when I realized I've lost the one man that would have been my everything...In my mind I was like...I DON"T THINK SO!! He said he was coming over to get all his s***, and that he never wanted to talk to me again...I was nobody to him and he didnt' want not one single memory of him...So he came and took his s***!! He dumped his whole bag on my bed and I had his stuff all ready for him to take...I KNEW IT WAS THE RIGHT DECISIONS WHEN I DIDN'T STOP HIM!!! He had given me the one pillow that his grandma made for him and I put it back in the bag and when he was leaving he threw it in my face....And slammed the door, IT WAS OVER!! It's probably one of the hardest things I've ever had to do but at least I was woman enough to know I had to let him go...I couldn't continue to pretend that everything was ok and that my heart was content...I believe everyone should find their soul mate, spend some time with them and then if it doesn't work out SETTLE...I want the fairy tale love and I'm going to have it... I feel as if a ton of bricks has been lifted from my chest and I can finally pursue my life the way I've wanted to for the past couple of years... This is the first time in 3 years that I'm single and Damn it, it feels f*cking good...It's time to make me happy
greenhorn Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 I am glad that you did it honestly NSN. The guy was only 19 so wasn't able to control his emotions but in the long run he would feel good for your honesty. He did try to put you down not intentionally but that was what might be coming to him.Anyway you did good that you told him.
EC Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 Good Job NSN!!! Well done! Of course he was going to put you down because of all the pain he was feeling, he wanted you to feel pain as well. I admire you because some women would not be able to do what you did, for fear of being alone. IMA SURVIVOR IM GONNA MAKE IT IM NOT GONE STOP IMA KEEP RISING.. You know i just so made up some words fo rthat song lMAO oh well. Glad your happy.
Author Illusion24 Posted April 1, 2005 Author Posted April 1, 2005 I knew eventually I was going to end it...but I just needed some time to think of how to tell him...It's not easy to let someone you thought you loved once that it's over...Part of the reason I left him was because of his age...Yes I know it was wrong but I was not willing to go back 5 years....I just didn't have the heart to do it...So I let him go, I felt horrible...I felt that I was cursed and God was punishing me...But I rather be punished then making love to someone when my thoughts are somewhere else...
Author Illusion24 Posted April 1, 2005 Author Posted April 1, 2005 You know what's funny...My mind is not letting me dwell on his pain...I can't seem to think of him more than a second...It's soo weird
Pocky Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by NeverSayNever You know what's funny...My mind is not letting me dwell on his pain...I can't seem to think of him more than a second...It's soo weird Because like most women, you left the relationship a long time ago. All you've done now is made it official.
Author Illusion24 Posted April 1, 2005 Author Posted April 1, 2005 Because like most women, you left the relationship a long time ago. All you've done now is made it official. Never thought of it like that...Wow interesting!
Merin Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 Originally posted by Pocky Because like most women, you left the relationship a long time ago. All you've done now is made it official. This is so true..
fundamental Posted April 1, 2005 Posted April 1, 2005 I want the fairy tale love and I'm going to have it... Fairy Tales are not real life.
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