When texting frequency dies down

[kaylan]

Is that anything to be concerned with? Say youve been seeing someone for a few months, and text is your main mode of conversation...and now you dont have nearly as many convos and you notice response delays (happens on both ends, but mainly the other person's)

 

Also, this is someone you see about once a week. Sometimes a little longer when schedules are really busy.

 

So I dunno if Im being over-paranoid, or if my gut will prove right again and that maybe I had reason to be so cautious the last few months. Because lately Ive been feeling like something is up.

Edited February 2, 2015 by kaylan

[amaysngrace]

Do you text her wiener pictures?

[kaylan]

Do you text her wiener pictures?

Constantly

 

PS - No I dont lol

[amaysngrace]

Constantly

 

PS - No lol

 

I don't think it means anything...people get busy, you know?

[youknow]

well from my experience, keeping in mind I'm pretty retarded when it comes to all this stuff, the girl was starting to loose interest.....so I started to text a bit more and pushed her away further... if I was you I would back off a bit, but only you would know your relationship best

[EmperorR]

from my personal experiences in life the end is near, emotional detachment..........

[kaylan]

I don't think it means anything...people get busy, you know?

I wanna tell myself this...but usually my gut isnt wrong.

 

And its been nagging me lately that maybe this chicks wandering around. In which case Im considering beating her to the punch and calling things off. Though there is a risk she's not up to anything.

 

Like I said, I could be paranoid...but my guts usually right about stuff. And my guys saying this despite her telling me she just told one of her childhood friends about me...and how she wants to meet me. My defenses simply interprets it as an attempt to hoodwink me.

 

=/

Edited February 2, 2015 by kaylan

[amaysngrace]

Text her then. Or better yet, call her.

 

Tell her you just wanted to hear her voice or something. Girls like romantic crap like that.

[kaylan]

Text her then. Or better yet, call her.

 

Tell her you just wanted to hear her voice or something. Girls like romantic crap like that.

Eh, I dont chase and put in that effort just to check in on someone.

 

Ive learned its not wise to simply do those things as simply an "interest barometer". I do that romantic stuff when its genuine.

[chimpanA-2-chimpanZ]

I'd be more concerned that it's been several months and you're only seeing her once a week or less. It sounds like she's attempting a slow fade, so don't fight it.

[amaysngrace]

Eh, I dont chase and put in that effort just to check in on someone.

 

Ive learned its not wise to simply do those things as simply an "interest barometer". I do that romantic stuff when its genuine.

 

Silly. Here you sit wondering if she is losing interest but tells people in her life about you and you're too proud to call her and talk to her?

 

Then just go with your gut then. Do nothing to try to improve the situation at all.

 

But I think that's silly.

[kaylan]

I'd be more concerned that it's been several months and you're only seeing her once a week or less. It sounds like she's attempting a slow fade, so don't fight it.

Thats always been our frequency. We have busy schedules and live around 45 miles away from one another.

Silly. Here you sit wondering if she is losing interest but tells people in her life about you and you're too proud to call her and talk to her?

 

Then just go with your gut then. Do nothing to try to improve the situation at all.

 

But I think that's silly.

Im saying I should call her if I really want to talk. Not to simply check in on her and gauge interest.

 

Im saying if shes back off, I dont chase. Ive learned from past experiences thats the best action, if in fact a girl is backing off. Reciprocity of behavior has worked a lot better for me, than doing anything that makes it seem like Im coming on stronger than desired.

Edited February 2, 2015 by kaylan

[amaysngrace]

Thats always been our frequency. We have busy schedules and live around 45 miles away from one another.

Im saying I should call her if I really want to talk. Not to simply check in on her and gauge interest.

 

Im saying if shes back off, I dont chase. Ive learned from past experiences thats the best action, if in fact a girl is backing off. Reciprocity of behavior has worked a lot better for me, than doing anything that makes it seem like Im coming on stronger than desired.

 

Maybe then the next time you text each other ask her if you can call her.

 

So much more can be said and it's just a whole lot more personal.

[Pinkdisney]

Is that anything to be concerned with? Say youve been seeing someone for a few months, and text is your main mode of conversation...and now you dont have nearly as many convos and you notice response delays (happens on both ends, but mainly the other person's)

 

Also, this is someone you see about once a week. Sometimes a little longer when schedules are really busy.

 

So I dunno if Im being over-paranoid, or if my gut will prove right again and that maybe I had reason to be so cautious the last few months. Because lately Ive been feeling like something is up.

 

So there is not daily contact of some sort? Phone Call?

 

Relationships have to keep moving forward to survive, if not face to face then you need to be developing that intimacy over the telephone......are you exclusive?

[kaylan]

So there is not daily contact of some sort? Phone Call?

 

Relationships have to keep moving forward to survive, if not face to face then you need to be developing that intimacy over the telephone......are you exclusive?

We text everyday....even if its not much meat in our convos. And as we are in ours 20s, our generation isnt a phono convo generation. We do our talking in person...and only on the phone when necessary. And yes, right now we are exclusive, but without labels.

[paigej91]

Is that anything to be concerned with? Say youve been seeing someone for a few months, and text is your main mode of conversation...and now you dont have nearly as many convos and you notice response delays (happens on both ends, but mainly the other person's)

 

Also, this is someone you see about once a week. Sometimes a little longer when schedules are really busy.

 

So I dunno if Im being over-paranoid, or if my gut will prove right again and that maybe I had reason to be so cautious the last few months. Because lately Ive been feeling like something is up.

 

Since it's about once a week, I would say the interest is lost. However, other times texting frequency dies down because you're getting very comfortable after dating a long time. It's at this point "the talk" would come in. But in your case it doesn't seem to be getting more intense/frequent in term of seeing each other, but actually less frequent.

[Leigh 87]

I am same age as you.

 

I have full time study and am very busy.

 

I only date men I am really into - I prefer texting to be daily.

 

I reach out and want to text everyone daily if I am into them.

 

I prefer to let the man initiate

 

I couldn't be phased if the texting habits changed so long as they reached out to me once a day, and called me most nights and SAW ME regularly, at the same rate. I don't change texting habits when I am more busy - I still respond at the same rate and feel like talking to them about the same all year around. Then again I don't like constant texting to begin with - just a few exchanges per day regularly..

[kaylan]

Since it's about once a week, I would say the interest is lost. However, other times texting frequency dies down because you're getting very comfortable after dating a long time. It's at this point "the talk" would come in. But in your case it doesn't seem to be getting more intense/frequent in term of seeing each other, but actually less frequent.

Well I did bring up to her today if we were seeing each other often enough, and she said its fine, and that she enjoys her alone time when she gets it. She said she'd let me know if anything was bothering her. So far we have good open communication. But like I said, we are busy people...and the last month Ive been digging into studying for certifications in order to make a career move soon (she knows this).

 

She called me silly for asking if it bothered her that I was unavailable to hang out as much lately. She said she totally understands that Im doing what needs to be done to move my career. So thats why things arent picking up with frequency.

 

With regard to intensity...hmmm....Id say the thrill of newness isnt quite as there. But the newness thrill that you get in the first month of seeing someone and sleeping with someone fades by the second month (at least in my experience it wanes some). But still the sexual chemistry is very good, and when we hang out its still really fun. Meh, time will tell. Im prepared for whatever outcome.

Edited February 2, 2015 by kaylan

[amaysngrace]

I like this one! She thinks you are being silly too.

 

Marry her.

[rocketman122]

Well I did bring up to her today if we were seeing each other often enough, and she said its fine, and that she enjoys her alone time when she gets it. She said she'd let me know if anything was bothering her. So far we have good open communication. But like I said, we are busy people...and the last month Ive been digging into studying for certifications in order to make a career move soon (she knows this).

 

She called me silly for asking if it bothered her that I was unavailable to hang out as much lately. She said she totally understands that Im doing what needs to be done to move my career. So thats why things arent picking up with frequency.

With regard to intensity...hmmm....Id say the thrill of newness isnt quite as there. But the newness thrill that you get in the first month of seeing someone and sleeping with someone fades by the second month (at least in my experience it wanes some). But still the sexual chemistry is very good, and when we hang out its still really fun. Meh, time will tell. Im prepared for whatever outcome.[/QUOTE]

 

I will have to disagree. Intensity for me with ex was for a long tiMe. It was explosive for us for a long time. There was a lot of passion. It seems to me youre in the halfazz effort mindset. When i dated women and it was like you are now, my interest level dropped and i walked away. If she was really interested and into you, it would get you excited but since your mindset is if she isnt then im not either and that usually is a turn off to the other side. Like youre holding back.

[Emilia]

If another person tells you that they are ok with only seeing you once a week and they don't mind that you are busy, they aren't interested in you all that much. Or feel that you aren't interested and they act accordingly. The fact that the frequency isn't escalating and texts are dropping aren't a good omen. Who wants to get laid only once a week when they are really into the person.

[kaylan]

Rocketman,

 

With regard to your post...the reason Im able to be ok with losing someone is because Ive learned to accept I cannot control how someone else feels or how they behave. I can control what I feel and what I do.

 

And even when I know Id be bothered at things not working out with a person I like, I no longer let it beat me up and keep me down...especially when things are still in the early going.

If another person tells you that they are ok with only seeing you once a week and they don't mind that you are busy, they aren't interested in you all that much. Or feel that you aren't interested and they act accordingly. The fact that the frequency isn't escalating and texts are dropping aren't a good omen. Who wants to get laid only once a week when they are really into the person.

*shrugs*

 

Guess Im just not that hard up for sex. Priorities. I imagine when two people are busy with work and making big career steps, that being able to spend a day together each week isnt terrible.

 

Oh wells.

[Ruby Slippers]

I agree that the whole thing sounds like a pretty lukewarm arrangement. It sounds like neither of you is super into the other, but you both see this as an enjoyable enough situation for now. That's totally fine if everybody's being honest and you agree on what it is.

 

I also notice that you seem kind of annoyed when people point this out. I've seen you post many times about how you can take this or leave it, she's not setting your rockets on fire or anything, but you don't like it when people on this forum comment on that.

 

I think you're simply getting back from this relationship what you're putting into it, which is minimal to moderate effort and emotion.

[rocketman122]

I agree that the whole thing sounds like a pretty lukewarm arrangement. It sounds like neither of you is super into the other, but you both see this as an enjoyable enough situation for now. That's totally fine if everybody's being honest and you agree on what it is.

 

I also notice that you seem kind of annoyed when people point this out. I've seen you post many times about how you can take this or leave it, she's not setting your rockets on fire or anything, but you don't like it when people on this forum comment on that.

 

I think you're simply getting back from this relationship what you're putting into it, which is minimal to moderate effort and emotion.

 

 

Yes, seems like a convenient relationship where both arent giving effort but are ok with it. you get what you give IMO. if he was to show high desire for her, im sure she would reciprocate.