IM5150 Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 It's been 2 weeks since my GF had a talk with me telling me that she needs a break. This came all of a sudden and very unexpected. We've been together for a year and a half. She has issues with depression and anxiety and right before i met her she started drinking. She's been on meds since she was 16 and she's now in her mid 30's. We got along very well and love each other very much. She was always very needy and wanted me around even if it was just to be at her house with her, she never wanted to leave my side. I would even joke to her that if she could she would tie us together. So yeah, two weeks ago she told be while crying that she needed a break. It came as a shock because I told her that she was the one that always wanted me around. She told me that I deserved someone that could give me more out of a relationship, I guess she felt that all the times of me seeing her through her episodes was catching on and she felt bad. I did feel like a care taker many times with her but I loved her so much that I was trying to see past it. She still wants to have a talk with me about why she needed the break but she's having trouble actually having the second talk with me because she's still very emotional and is afraid to go into another panic attack. It's been really hard on my and I'm trying to be patient with her but it's so hard not hearing from her like I use to everyday. I feel alone and lost. I've read a couple other posts in different forums where the GF did the same thing, kind of push the BF away because of her depression and just felt it was too much too handle when she can't even handle herself. I think my GF is doing the same with me. I'm trying to stay positive and hope that we can work something out. I really miss her.
Downtown Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 IM, it would be very helpful if you would tell us -- in much greater detail -- how "her episodes" and "her anxiety" were manifested. Exactly what behaviors have you been dealing with for 18 months? For example, has she been verbally abusive? Are her meds for depression or bipolar disorder?
Author IM5150 Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 She's been on Zoloft for depression since she was 16. She has 3 kids from two different relationships. The first baby daddy cheated on her while she was still pregnant with their second child, they divorced. I think she might have started drinking at this point because she started feeling anxiety and she would turn to wine to soften the blow. Her relationship before mine was with the second baby daddy and he was verbally abusive to her, granted she didn't pick the best relationships. When I cam into the picture, her mom told me that i was the best thing to ever happen to her. She was always happy around me, her mom called me her "rock". She's never been abusive with me, she's been a really sweet girl and she wouldn't do anything to hurt me. When I talk about her episodes it was usually triggered by an argument with her X. It's unfortunate that she still needs to talk to him because they have a 4 year old together. When an argument would happen she would usually drink to calm her anxiety for the moment, then of course she would feel worse after the wine buzz was gone. She would then get on Ativan but she would start taking that like everyday and your not really suppose to do that so her doctor just upped her dose of Zoloft. So all in all, she's a busy mother with 3 kids which she has 50% of the time, she also has her business with clients that she see's everyday and she even gets anxiety about not knowing if she can go through the day without having a panic attack at work. It wasn't horrible issue since she wouldn't drink like everyday, it was more when she had an episode but I know that it's controlling her because a couple times she even got drunk while her kids were home. I've been her support for the time Ive been with her and my friends wonder why I'm with her with all her problems, they have a point but I feel like I'm that special one that really has a tough time letting someone go. I love her.
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