dezzy1028p Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 My ex broke up with me two months ago. We were together for about a year and a half. I initiated no contact for about a month now, and I was able to reflect on what i did wrong in the relationship. We've both played a part which led to our breakup. I lied a lot in the relationship, like what I'm doing and who I'm hanging out with (no I didn't cheat). I lied because he didn't like it when I did certain activities or hung out with my friends. He was controlling and possessive so he limited a lot of what i could do. That's why i lied because i hung out with my friends without him knowing, I didn't want to block my friends out of my life. He eventually got upset that I hid being around my friends from him which led to our breakup because he couldn't trust me. I understand what I did wrong, because it's better to hurt someone with the truth than with a lie. I actually never wanted to hurt him or make him angry, so I didn't want to bring up being around my friends since he didn't want me to be around them. Anyway, I do know that I shouldn't be dating someone like that who keeps me from seeing my friends. I feel like i should apologize for lying during the relationship and causing stress to him after the breakup. I'm not apologizing to get him back, I just feel like he at least deserves an apology. Whether he accepts it or not is all up to him. It's been a month since we last contacted, should I give him more time till I apologize? We do cross paths often because of mutual friends, and I want to relieve the negative tension/ awkwardness between us when we see each other.
marcelo.santos Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 No, Do not break NC to say sorry. If you find him, avoid talking about the past - only ask apologize if you are together again in the future. What you did is wrong, but this is how you are - you will not change, if he really likes you he will accept you the way you are. You did nothing so wrong with him, don't worry. Do not break NC - If you break NC to ask apologize, this will not change his mind and makes he want to be with you - this will make you suffer and go to day zero - move on.
toffeecream77 Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 You did nothing wrong. He was controlling and intimating - in a way, he made you lie. Don't feel bad, don't feel guilty and certainly don't look back.
whichwayisup Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 Don't apologize. The guy was a control freak and didn't want you hanging out with your friends, he put limitations on what you could and couldn't do. If you apologize, do you really think he'll apologize for being so controlling? My guess is no. He caused YOU stress as well. We do cross paths often because of mutual friends, and I want to relieve the negative tension/ awkwardness between us when we see each other. All you have to do is smile at him. Do not apologize, do not reach out and talk to him, let it go.
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