fluidian Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 Ok - I just signed up for an online dating site and have really dated in years, and in that time, I realize that people's preferred mode of contact/correspondence has likely changed at least a bit. That said, there have been a few great women that I've had some e-mail exchanges with, and usually after just the first or second e-mail, they propose getting drinks - which I'm getting scheduled for next week (which is exciting). That said, I'm wondering what the preferred mode of correspondence is prior to these first meetings. The two women that proposed drinks right away also included their mobile number in the message. Should I just get the details of drinks scheduled via e-mail, should I text them, or should I call them. I'm guessing it would be a bit odd to get a call out of the blue from some guy that you've never seen before...so I am a bit hesitant to jump straight to that, without at least mentioning a call via e-mail or text first. For the recent, expert online daters (men), what is your favorite protocol/most successful protocol prior to the first meeting? Women - what do you prefer? Thanks!
Jessie1231 Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 I prefer texting. If I give a guy my number after we have messaged online, it means I'm interested in texting. It's just easier because I don't keep my notifications on for online dating apps. So if I give him my number, I like to text and just get to know each other a little. Once we get to know each other through texting for a few days, sometimes the guy wants to call but honestly I prefer to just go ahead and get meeting in person out of the way before we start with phone calls. That's just me though, I would imagine lots of females do like to speak on the phone before meeting. But I do like texting a bit before meeting, if nothing else just to confirm the time and place. The women giving you their numbers is definitely a good sign though because I don't do that unless I've decided I am interested in meeting in person.
d0nnivain Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 By giving you their #s they want you to call or text. They want the e-mail to stop. I'd call just because most men will text so this way you stand out.
oberkeat Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 The point of getting the girl's number is to move things offline. I want a date, not a pen pal. Once I have her number, I'm done emailing in any way. I send her a text asking how their day was, then i ask her out for a specific place and time so we can see if there's chemistry in person. I haven't found a relationship, yet, but I've gotten pretty good at moving things to the date stage with girls who are interested.
MichaelA Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 beware that almost every person i have met looks better in their pics than in person. i would advise you Skype or FaceTime first. even getting 5 pics won't do it justice. what app did you meet her on? i know tinder, hoobee, and match are the 3 big players now.
Ruby Slippers Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Here's how I do it: profile review, a few messages, move to text, then a phone call to better assess compatibility, and, if it's good, set up the first meet. Most guys try to set up the meet by message or text, and if I'm interested, at that point I request a brief phone call to better assess compatibility. But it seems not all women care about the initial phone call, in which case I guess you could skip it. I just jumped back on the site last night, and so far I've got two invites for sometime soon, hence two phone calls tentatively planned for this evening.
Fhsjkfjrhsdh3646 Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 I send 3-5 messages, ask them to meet for a drink somewhere nearby, and meet. In my experience girls who are perfectly open to meeting don't like giving their numbers out right away, so I usually wait until we meet in person and then get it. I figure after I ask them out if they want to switch to texting they can just give me their number.
Gary S Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 You are doing great if the women are throwing numbers at ya! You want to call (voice). Once you get the number, send a text with your name, so she will know who it is when you call. Negotiate over text for a good time to call her. Why call (voice) rather than text? - because 93% of communication are things other than words, and with the phone call, at least you get voice inflection. It's a much better way of communicating. Many savvy women want to hear your voice first anyway. Aim for a short rather than long call, shoot for ten minutes. If you get a good impression of her over the phone, ask what her schedule is like, and negotiate a time to meet at a public place such as a bar, resturant, or coffee shop. Have a place in mind, don't let her do all the work.... women like a man with a plan, it's romantic. 1
losangelena Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 You guys, this thread is old. OP's been out like five times with a girl already!
Ruby Slippers Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Have a place in mind, don't let her do all the work.... women like a man with a plan, it's romantic. This alone puts you in the top 10% of guys on OLD 2
fitnessfan365 Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Since the purpose of the first date aka "meet" is to start the getting to know you process, I don't think there should be much communication before hand. Plus if you're busy and have things going on in life, who has time to text back and forth all day long? I give a woman my number. She sends a text. I call to follow up and make plans for a few days out if possible. Then I don't talk to her again until the date and take it from there. I find that too much communication before hand builds expectations which are never met. Better to base your opinions on who the person actually is in person.
Gary S Posted February 27, 2015 Posted February 27, 2015 Quote: Originally Posted by Gary S View Post Have a place in mind, don't let her do all the work.... women like a man with a plan, it's romantic. This alone puts you in the top 10% of guys on OLD - That's nice of you to say, thank you! 1
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