Online dating bad luck

[Ebelskiver]

This is what's wrong with online dating. People multi-dating, multi-messaging, and window shopping. Always holding out for something better. They say they aren't looking for someone perfect but someone perfect for them but in the end it's the same thing.

Especially for the girls where they get so many options and guys that they don't really or want to invest or there isn't that instant connection on a first meet.

They expect spark to fly right away, love at first site, or something close to that when you are really just meeting a stranger for the first time.

Then they give the whole I don't feel the chemistry line and they go back to the next guy or guys.

 

This is quite oversimplistic. I sense you've had some bad experiences with OLD (welcome to the club) and a bit of anger is coming through. If it's coming through here I imagine it is coming through in your profile or your dates. One this I will not stand for in OLD is angry men with a martyr complex. It's a huge red flag of the type of insecurity, clingyness, and controlling behavior mixed with a madonna/whore complex you can expect if you continue to date.

 

OLD sucks. For both sexes. It's no fun rejecting someone. I hate doing it. That's why sometimes you'll get the slow fade. It 'seems' a bit nicer. Of course you want to find someone and it sucks to keep meeting people you know you're not compatible with. But it's kinder to you both to end it sooner rather than later.

 

There have been many times when I've been the one cut off after the 2nd or 3rd date with a "I don't see a future with us." Sure it's dissappointing but I don't BLAME ALL MANKIND for not being into me. It's statistics. It's statistically unlikely for eveyone I like to also like me as well. So you got to keep plugging along online or in real life because the only way you WILL meet someone is if you are at least open to it with a bare minimum of bitterness.

[mysteryscape]

Are you familiar with online dating?

 

Because the people off the Internet are the same people as those on the Internet. 75% of singles looking use online, that's 2014 statistics

 

I'm very skeptical, from the people I talk with. Most are not doing online dating. A good many of them have, then gave it up out of disgust or lack of finding anything worthwhile. They are not currently doing online and would not consider themselves OLD'ers.

 

A great many -- perhaps most OLD profiles are fakes of one kind or another. I personally know someone with 3 profiles on one site, only one of which is for real. A great many OLD profiles are inactive and not real.

[oberkeat]

If i actually had a social circle or some other venue that put me in contact with girls regularly, there's no way I would bother with online dating. My experiences with it have been mostly negative.

[Gaeta]

I'm very skeptical, from the people I talk with. Most are not doing online dating. A good many of them have, then gave it up out of disgust or lack of finding anything worthwhile. They are not currently doing online and would not consider themselves OLD'ers.

 

A great many -- perhaps most OLD profiles are fakes of one kind or another. I personally know someone with 3 profiles on one site, only one of which is for real. A great many OLD profiles are inactive and not real.

 

Maybe it depends where you are located. I am in a big city of millions of people Every single people I know that is looking is doing online dating that includes my brother who met his wife online, my co-workers, my friends, even my 27 yo daughter found her bf online and most of her single friends are doing online. When I had a profile online I came across employees and ex-employees of my company on there. Heck even in the metro sometimes I come across faces I have seen on pof.

 

Listening to people with their online dating stories and talking about your own experience isn't the same. You did not actually live it yourself you are reporting what friends have said. If your friends are like me they like to talk about the stupid stuff they encounter on there cause it's a good story to tell. The regular normal stuff they don't talk about. Like meeting a nice girl but unfortunately your friend and her are on different shift, there is a bit of a distance, finally there are too many obstacle to pursue, that kind of story don't interest anyone at the watercooler so you don't hear them, you only hear the juicy stories.

[Gaeta]

I'm very skeptical, from the people I talk with. Most are not doing online dating.

 

This section in a 'dating' section which includes all kinds of dating. I would say about 98% of the stories here start with 'I met this great guy on a dating website'.

[mysteryscape]

This section in a 'dating' section which includes all kinds of dating. I would say about 98% of the stories here start with 'I met this great guy on a dating website'.

 

a different loveshack than I am reading.

[Mrin]

Thank you that's very sweet. I'm actually lucky im one of those people that's looks hasn't changed in 10 years, I get people looking at photos of me at 18 and say gee you look exactly the same. I'm a 31yo that always gets mistaken for early to mid 20s. Not unusual to have younger guys interested.

 

I suppose dates and sex are one thing but it's disheartening when I'm able to offer so much more to the right man.

 

Ok, this is initially going to sound harsh but bear with me please.

 

Right there - "when I am able to offer so much more to the right man". You need to answer the "the so much more" question and be really honest with yourself. You're educated, good looking and sexual. But my guess is that for any man you would consider dating those aren't assets - those are prerequisites. I know they were for me when I was dating.

 

So beyond that, ask yourself what you have to offer to such a man. It is humor? Wanderlust? Kink? A family? Submissive? Dominant? Wealth? Status? Outdoorsy? Cultured? What's unique there that sets you apart from the others? You can put love and affection in only if you truly excel at them. Like really really excel. Because remember, any man worth dating will just see those as perquisites.

 

Think on it a while. If you had 60 seconds to explain to Mr. Right why he should ask you out vs. some other woman, what would you say? And speak in his language - not yours. This isn't an exercise to make you feel good about yourself. "Strong, powerful, confident woman" is a prerequisite for me - not an asset. We're not even having this conversation if you weren't. So figure it out - what's unique about you that constitutes "so much more"?

 

Then, once you've complete that exercise (and test it by running it past some of your guy friends), reverse engineer it to look for a guy who would value what you have to offer. When you do that, you will have solved the second part of your statement "when I'm able to offer so much more to the right man". Then redo your profile and screen all men against this filter. Only talk to men who you think could be right. Not Mr. Right. But right in that they will value what you have to offer. Then you decide if whether what they have to offer you is desirable.

 

That's how my GF found me/I found her. She was amazingly upfront that the things she could offer and who the right man was. It was me and everything she offered was exactly what I was looking for. The rest is history.

 

I hope this helps!

[RedRobin]

Ok, this is initially going to sound harsh but bear with me please.

 

Right there - "when I am able to offer so much more to the right man". You need to answer the "the so much more" question and be really honest with yourself. You're educated, good looking and sexual. But my guess is that for any man you would consider dating those aren't assets - those are prerequisites. I know they were for me when I was dating.

 

So beyond that, ask yourself what you have to offer to such a man. It is humor? Wanderlust? Kink? A family? Submissive? Dominant? Wealth? Status? Outdoorsy? Cultured? What's unique there that sets you apart from the others? You can put love and affection in only if you truly excel at them. Like really really excel. Because remember, any man worth dating will just see those as perquisites.

 

Think on it a while. If you had 60 seconds to explain to Mr. Right why he should ask you out vs. some other woman, what would you say? And speak in his language - not yours. This isn't an exercise to make you feel good about yourself. "Strong, powerful, confident woman" is a prerequisite for me - not an asset. We're not even having this conversation if you weren't. So figure it out - what's unique about you that constitutes "so much more"?

 

Then, once you've complete that exercise (and test it by running it past some of your guy friends), reverse engineer it to look for a guy who would value what you have to offer. When you do that, you will have solved the second part of your statement "when I'm able to offer so much more to the right man". Then redo your profile and screen all men against this filter. Only talk to men who you think could be right. Not Mr. Right. But right in that they will value what you have to offer. Then you decide if whether what they have to offer you is desirable.

 

That's how my GF found me/I found her. She was amazingly upfront that the things she could offer and who the right man was. It was me and everything she offered was exactly what I was looking for. The rest is history.

 

I hope this helps!

 

 

I totally agree with this.

 

 

When I do/did OLD, I take no accounting of number of dates, number of emails, number of winks, interest, or any of that.

 

 

The ONLY thing I concerned myself with was a profile that very accurately represented the real me in as concise a method as possible... then make sure that anyone emailing me has those elements in his profile.

 

 

The quality of my interactions improved immensely once I did that. I still don't like OLD.

 

 

Way too many people fudging who they are, with no consequences for bad behavior. I much prefer real life that has real consequences for misrepresentation. Even if it is unintentional.

[RedRobin]

OP... I also would not put much stock in the 'you are over 30 and over the hill' talk that goes on here that is mostly generated by entitled bitter boys.

 

 

Finding a partner gets harder for both genders after the 20's because there are usually lots of other things to juggle and priorities to manage.

 

 

As for the mythical "I'm a 40 something guy and the world is my oyster" baloney...I've met more than one guy who thought he won the lottery when he was in his 40's and found a 20 something woman to start a life/family with... only to be divorced a few years later and raising kids as an older single parent... while she ran off with the same age guy she met at work or through friends.

 

 

One guy I met was living NEXT DOOR to his ex-wife and the BF!! Doing it for the kids... poor schmuck. Another guy was in his late 50's and trying to hit on me at Starbucks. I'm a lot younger than him... seems he didn't learn his lesson from that divorce, since he too was raising a young child. Tsk Tsk. Can't say I feel too sorry for either of them.

[funkify]

Well I heard about surveying a few of my past dates so I thought I'd give it a try. Note these were people I was interested in getting to know more but not blown away by on the first date. They said;

- I had fun but no spark

- a general lack of chemistry

- I was interested but I sensed you weren't

- you were attractive and polite but appeared a bit removed

- your photo didn't reflect your height

- your lack of availability of free time

- you didn't text me back promptly

- it seemed like a friendly chat, not a romantic one

- I didn't sense eagerness on your side

- very attractive and smart

- loved our conversation

- you don't need to improve anything, it was a great first date, would you like to go for dinner again?

 

I was surprised at the petty reasons and it really made me laugh! What do you think? Overall it seems a guy will not risk asking a girl out even if they want a second date, for fear of rejection!

[JuneJulySeptember]

First of all, nobody gives two sh@ts about your Masters degree. I have one too and who gives a sh@t. It's more or less a meaningless accomplishment.

 

Secondly. Good looking guys who are successful have options. Lots. It doesn't matter that you are the same and think you are better. All women want them and you have to compete.

 

Thirdly. I do online dating and have zero women contacting me. None, zilch, nada. Barely any even look at my profile. I'm out of the parameters of what women search for. And I've been rejected at least 50 times without even a reply from women that are way more relaxed about what they require. It's real and it's the truth, and I'm not exaggerating one bit.

 

So, next time you want to complain about guys flaking after you've rejected dozens more that were interested but unattractive to get that point, just remember how much worse some have it.

 

I don't know if your post was completely sincere, but no matter who you are, you definitely have it much better.

 

On another note, if you can't get attractive men, you're really not that attractive. You're probably closer to average and think you are very attractive.

 

Hey, like I said, at least you get guys attracted to you.

Edited February 3, 2015 by JuneJulySeptember

[Gaeta]

Well I heard about surveying a few of my past dates so I thought I'd give it a try. Note these were people I was interested in getting to know more but not blown away by on the first date. They said;

- I had fun but no spark

- a general lack of chemistry

- I was interested but I sensed you weren't

- you were attractive and polite but appeared a bit removed

- your photo didn't reflect your height

- your lack of availability of free time

- you didn't text me back promptly

- it seemed like a friendly chat, not a romantic one

- I didn't sense eagerness on your side

- very attractive and smart

- loved our conversation

- you don't need to improve anything, it was a great first date, would you like to go for dinner again?

 

I was surprised at the petty reasons and it really made me laugh! What do you think? Overall it seems a guy will not risk asking a girl out even if they want a second date, for fear of rejection!

 

All this does not matter. They are just polite excuses because they didn't feel it strongly enough to go on a second date. Don't waste any thought or energy on trying to figure them out. Just go on with your journey and you will meet someone eventually.

 

I am like you, I am older in my 40s, I am good looking, I got a great career, I am stable, fun, free, and ready to let someone in my life. In the past 3 years I met 100+ men and only a 6 month relationship came out of it. I get a lot of attention, give me 10 mins online and I can book 3 dates just like this but none will end up valid prospects. When I feel discourage I take a break and I go back a couple of months later. I don't try to change who I am to fit anyone. I am who I am, period.

[Popsicle]

online dating is cold and detached. That is what their complaints are about.

[funkify]

First of all, nobody gives two sh@ts about your Masters degree. I have one too and who gives a sh@t. It's more or less a meaningless accomplishment.

 

Secondly. Good looking guys who are successful have options. Lots. It doesn't matter that you are the same and think you are better. All women want them and you have to compete.

 

Thirdly. I do online dating and have zero women contacting me. None, zilch, nada. Barely any even look at my profile. I'm out of the parameters of what women search for. And I've been rejected at least 50 times without even a reply from women that are way more relaxed about what they require. It's real and it's the truth, and I'm not exaggerating one bit.

 

So, next time you want to complain about guys flaking after you've rejected dozens more that were interested but unattractive to get that point, just remember how much worse some have it.

 

I don't know if your post was completely sincere, but no matter who you are, you definitely have it much better.

 

On another note, if you can't get attractive men, you're really not that attractive. You're probably closer to average and think you are very attractive.

 

Hey, like I said, at least you get guys attracted to you.

 

I'm sorry to hear that. I think it's worth to keep trying. I've found that many men don't put much effort into their profiles so you could try that. Dress up nice and take some good shots, write your profile with thought and time. Put your best foot forward. It's amazing how many guys put up scruffy photos of themselves, not smiling or weird stone faced selfies.

[mightycpa]

Believe it, she is not the only one with this issue. Plenty of women that are good looking and successful and they can't find a man....

 

And there it is... supply and demand. There are plenty of these women, so you can slowly work your way through the supply. A lot of guys are doing exactly that, guaranteeing that the supply doesn't dry up. The resistance to giving the men easy sex perpetuates this problem. These same guys are probably going less attractive/successful for the sex, also perpetuating the problem.

 

...that will take them seriously

I'm going to quibble with this. Some men might be intimidated, not necessarily by the success itself, but by the daunting task of imagining how they're going to keep someone happy who is used to living at a fairly high standard of living and who obviously won't have problems finding a man. (They are not aware of the problem these women face.)

 

If you can calculate a cost-of-dating index by multiplying the beauty number (1-10) times the success level (1-10), then there must be a number that a man feels he simply cannot afford, depending on his means and obligations. I know this calculation is not mathematical, but I'm sure the issue is considered.

[Versacehottie]

Well I heard about surveying a few of my past dates so I thought I'd give it a try. Note these were people I was interested in getting to know more but not blown away by on the first date. They said;

- I had fun but no spark

- a general lack of chemistry

- I was interested but I sensed you weren't

- you were attractive and polite but appeared a bit removed

- your photo didn't reflect your height

- your lack of availability of free time

- you didn't text me back promptly

- it seemed like a friendly chat, not a romantic one

- I didn't sense eagerness on your side

- very attractive and smart

- loved our conversation

- you don't need to improve anything, it was a great first date, would you like to go for dinner again?

 

I was surprised at the petty reasons and it really made me laugh! What do you think? Overall it seems a guy will not risk asking a girl out even if they want a second date, for fear of rejection!

 

Wow, I'm impressed. Good for you, you are definitely putting effort into this. Ok, what I was going to say before I read this list was that likely the dates felt "interview-ish". Which from the stuff I bolded also seems like what some of the guys are saying if you read between the lines. It doesn't mean it's totally your fault. It could just mean that there is a tendency to go there that meshes with your personality more than others in combination with your dates. So once you are aware, I would go the opposite direction to show a light-hearted playful side of yourself. A date shouldn't just be exchange of information and facts. Not linear. Try to have a date that would only make sense to the two of you. I guess I'm saying the conversation could be MORE random and jump around, being in the moment. Also when you look at the totality of the comments, it also reflects that it was a little interview-ish. How would someone know how much free time you did or didn't have? Let them discover that rather than laying that stuff out on the table like you are interviewing a dog walker. Sorry. It could easily been the guys you were on a date with too doing the same thing. Think of it as your responsibility to make your time together fun (at least on your end). The serious answers will come out soon enough.

 

Also another thing is that often people are so wanting to be in a relationship that they fail to have other things that they are passionate about. That is going to be a huge hurdle in the dating world because it reads as desperate. If you have other things (besides finding a guy) that you are very passionate about and interested in, instantly you become more interesting to people.

 

Lastly, even if they are internet dates, try to do dates that are not just coffee or over dinner in your case, because they can be contributing to stagnant feeling that these guys are getting. Sure they are generally planning the date, but I would take the liberty to suggest something more active or unique and see what happens. Its a proven fact that if your heart rate goes up people attribute that racing heart to amp'd up feelings about the date. Shoot, why not put all the things you can put in your favor into your favor!

 

Good luck. Its sounds like you are willing to do the right things and be introspective--i have a feeling it won't be long

[losangelena]

To the OP, a couple of things:

 

I'd try a different dating site. I feel like the filter on eHarmony is too narrow. Also, that gigantic questionnaire that's designed to match you on compatibility only works if you and/or your potential dates know yourselves very well.

 

Another thing is, it's a numbers game. I spent about 10 months meeting, on average, a new guy every week and a half or so, until I met my BF. There were two others during this time that went past two or three dates.

 

You talk about how none of these men seem into you, but have you been super-interested in any of them? When I was dating and getting frustrated, it was helpful to take a bit on inventory and determine which of the guys I dated I really liked, and if there was some sort of common denominator.

 

In my case, each of these men were in some way unavailable. One wasn't over his failed marriage, one was a workaholic, one was a drug abuser, etc. That realization then helped me realize that maybe I was attracted to men like this because I too was someone closed off emotionally and that these men were "safe." Learning that actually got me back to therapy (longer story), but more importantly, what type/s of guys to avoid (or move toward) in the future. Finding that right person (or a right person) is a gradual recalibration process, and it wasn't long after I had those realizations that I met my BF. Is he the "ultimate" one? It's too soon to tell, but it did take a good while, and a good bit of work. Hang in there.

[funkify]

In terms of interest, I'd say I was super into half of the men and 1/2 to 3/4 into the other half. They other half were not bad and I would date them a second time, but I felt that the chemistry needed some time to grow rather than instantly like the first half.

 

Out of the ones I was very into, a fair few were two dates (sometimes 3) and it was "hot to cold" with no particular explanation apart from the "not enough chemistry" thing. Of course, there were others who came up with excuses like needing to focus on things other than dating (eg. work, settling into a new city) but these men also regularly updated their profiles!

 

So we'd have two dates in the space of two weeks and they'd initiate good contact in between. Then after a great second date, they would go cold that week until eventually they would let me go. Some even planned the third/fourth dates then cancel/reschedule. There was no sex (apart from one person), but it got physically passionate. I found them intelligent, gentlemanly, and showing lots of effort. It was actually very surprising that they went cold bc there was no indication of this on the date.

[hudson701]

Successful, good looking in-shape men in their 30s are just coming into their stride. Their looks are only going to get better, as is social status and wealth. And what are men in this age bracket going for? Women between 20-25 and that's the harsh reality of it. I remember I was invisible to younger women when in my early twenties simply because I wasn't established or man enough. Now in my 30s and in a much better place, I'm turning a lot more heads especially from younger girls, so I intend to take full advantage of it. I'm sure in your mid twenties when you were are the peak of your looks you turned away lots of good men in their droves. What goes around comes around I guess. Truth is painful sometimes- men predominantly like younger women.

 

In the summer I was set up on a date with a 36 year old 'city professional' who 'had it all' on paper- amazing high paying job, beautiful flat on the river Thames, fantastic wardrobe, lots of academic 'credentials' etc and what else? A massive sense of entitlement and ego, even admiting to me at some point she can be hard work. So I thought 'why on earth would I want to date somebody like that when I can enjoy younger, hotter more carefree women?' Of course I kept these thoughts to myself but her attempts to shame me for having a 24 year old ex-girlfriend were laughable- clearly she felt insecure about it.

[Versacehottie]

In terms of interest, I'd say I was super into half of the men and 1/2 to 3/4 into the other half. They other half were not bad and I would date them a second time, but I felt that the chemistry needed some time to grow rather than instantly like the first half.

 

Out of the ones I was very into, a fair few were two dates (sometimes 3) and it was "hot to cold" with no particular explanation apart from the "not enough chemistry" thing. Of course, there were others who came up with excuses like needing to focus on things other than dating (eg. work, settling into a new city) but these men also regularly updated their profiles!

 

So we'd have two dates in the space of two weeks and they'd initiate good contact in between. Then after a great second date, they would go cold that week until eventually they would let me go. Some even planned the third/fourth dates then cancel/reschedule. There was no sex (apart from one person), but it got physically passionate. I found them intelligent, gentlemanly, and showing lots of effort. It was actually very surprising that they went cold bc there was no indication of this on the date.

 

Armed with that information as well, it's possible that you could be giving off the vibe (whether in truth or just in way things come off to the guys) that there is not much of a challenge, ie that you are a sure thing. Obviously you're attractive if you are getting a good amount of dates as it seems you are. So with guys you are in the door. So why can't it be turned into gf type thing? 2-4 dates in they are considering whether they want to continue to date you and/or try to make you their gf. Sometimes i think if guys already know the answer to the second part, they panic for not wanting to decide that yet themselves. In other words, if they don't know if they CAN make you their girlfriend or not, there is a pressure that is off of them as well as a challenge of the good sort for them to tackle. Make sense? Also I may be presuming too much but 2 dates in you shouldn't know yourself if YOU want to continue dating him. It's a subtle shift but changing your perspective where you are still "undecided" yourself about whether or not it will move forward seems to benefit the potential of the relationship.

 

Also as was said by los angelena it's somewhat of a numbers game of where you just have to keep dating until the right one hits. Lastly I think that online dating kind of messes with the expectations and assumptions people take into the dating process--like making it seem like you are most definitely looking for a serious relationship. All guys will tend to assume that from online dating. And you may be--but just as in real life--"with the right person" so don't get ahead of yourself, buddy. You know, since they may be presuming that but never going to communicate that you have to take the opportunity to show them in other ways that you're having fun dating and let's just see what happens. That usually changes the balance. Plus fair to assume since it's online that they are dating others as well---sometimes they pick another person and sometimes they want another person and go for it even though it may not end up working out. You should take a little bit of that attitude yourself and see if it benefits you--i think it will.

 

I think the introspection you are doing is really good and bound to help you. good luck

[starmar]

It is not you. It is part of the online dating experience, I have come to believe.

 

I was reading the Tao of Dating (really good book) and the author mentioned that online dating is not really an ideal place to seek relationships because there is very little accountability. The people we meet are complete strangers so they don't feel the need to explain if things don't work out. The author also mentioned that if it were a group of people in which there were mutual friends, and more accountability because friends will wonder, then people are more likely to end things on a good note, at least and not disappear completely.

 

Quote from the book:

 

Moreover, when you meet a man off the internet, it usually means that he’s not networked in – he’s a total stranger. This increases the likelihood that one (or both)parties will engage in socially dubious behavior since accountability is low. If you’re venturing into the world of online dating, expect surprises.

 

Binazir, Ali (2010-02-14). The Tao of Dating: The Smart Woman's Guide to Being Absolutely Irresistible (p. 174). Elite Communications. Kindle Edition.

[thecrucible]

You go into online dating with idealistic expectations, but as experienced online daters know, you soon learn to jettison some of that.

 

 

But it has its advantages. I have more knowledge of what I want, whilst at the same time being more able to look past superficial qualities which would have hooked me before. I'm better at assessing profiles and asking the right questions earlier on to filter guys that are more of a match to me - but without sounding too intense about it. I'm more stoic about dating in general.

 

 

But now I freeze my profile for certain periods of time so I can not be replying to too many messages at once then I clear my inbox about once a month as it feels too overwhelming otherwise. Sometimes I take a break from it because it freaks me out. I try not to expend too much emotional energy on it but you inevitably do a little.

 

 

The most emotionally draining form of online dating for me is when you go into it with no direction and try to "give everyone a chance"...which I nobly did before but now I am more honest with myself if a guy is out of my league or there is something glaringly obvious which means we'll never be a match. Then I go on fewer dates and it makes things easier to deal with.

 

 

You also have to get used to people dropping out of conversations or just pulling the fade. Doesn't bother me too much anymore as I never invest too much in the initial stages. It's just something you learn not to take personally.

[Mangina]

First of all, nobody gives two sh@ts about your Masters degree. I have one too and who gives a sh@t. It's more or less a meaningless accomplishment.

 

Secondly. Good looking guys who are successful have options. Lots. It doesn't matter that you are the same and think you are better. All women want them and you have to compete.

 

Thirdly. I do online dating and have zero women contacting me. None, zilch, nada. Barely any even look at my profile. I'm out of the parameters of what women search for. And I've been rejected at least 50 times without even a reply from women that are way more relaxed about what they require. It's real and it's the truth, and I'm not exaggerating one bit.

 

So, next time you want to complain about guys flaking after you've rejected dozens more that were interested but unattractive to get that point, just remember how much worse some have it.

 

I don't know if your post was completely sincere, but no matter who you are, you definitely have it much better.

 

On another note, if you can't get attractive men, you're really not that attractive. You're probably closer to average and think you are very attractive.

 

Hey, like I said, at least you get guys attracted to you.

 

This is the cold truth that nobody wants to tell you.

[Leigh 87]

What you are going through is normal.

 

I am told all the time that I am attractive but it honestly doesn't mean that the men you go on dates with will find you attractive.

 

The reality is, for most women unless they are a super model, the majority of men we go on dates with just aren't going to be that attracted to us; and if they ARE very attracted, they won't likely be that into us, as individuals and human beings.

 

It takes years for most of us to find a partner who we feel the spark with, and who also feel it mutually with us.