Gloria25 Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 I had a negative interaction with dude I was crushing on not to long ago... Recently, we exchanged polite "Hi's" in passing. I've been swirling in my head how to deal with this cuz, I don't want to make anything out of it. I don't wanna go down that path (again) of interpreting everything he does as some sign of "interest". But, I don't want to be rude either. I really was pondering and practicing giving him the finger if the opportunity presented itself, and it did, and I failed!!! I'm relieved though, cuz I don't want tension here and felt really poopy last time we interacted cuz it, to me was clear that just wanted me to leave him alone...and I guess, now we can be polite and I just wanna leave it at that. So, I guess I'm gonna continue to keep my distance and just be polite. I'm too afraid if I start going back to frequenting areas he's normally at - he's probably gonna regret being polite to me and I don't want him like "oh, when will this nutty chick leave me alone". Besides, for all I know, he could have been fishing for an ego boost cuz we haven't crossed paths in a while... P.S....he must have some secret radar or I must be letting off some scent of attraction cuz while I didn't post about it here or anywhere else...the two nights before our "hi" I was thinking about him while taking care of Lady J. But now, after the "hi", I'm reserved about thinking about him while working on Lady J, cuz I'm protecting myself right now from more hurt.
preraph Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 You know the drill. Stay busy and don't let yourself focus on him. If there is some sort of mutual attraction, he will keep circling your planet. And that's more likely to happen if you stay good and busy and social than if you don't. 1
Rejected Rosebud Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 Oh Gloria please just somehow detach yourself from any kind of thoughts of this guy negative or positive including sexual fantasies, it is really not healthy, why would you think it was appropriate for you to flip him off just because you crushed on him and he didn't return the feelings?? This is all dangerous territory, he needs to be just another stranger to you, maybe you need some help with this because it is a problem I think!! 1
Author Gloria25 Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) Oh Gloria please just somehow detach yourself from any kind of thoughts of this guy negative or positive including sexual fantasies, it is really not healthy, why would you think it was appropriate for you to flip him off just because you crushed on him and he didn't return the feelings?? This is all dangerous territory, he needs to be just another stranger to you, maybe you need some help with this because it is a problem I think!! Agreed.... I was quite emotional this week cuz of my period (which explains the sexual fantasies, frustration). But it's getting better. I wanted to flip him off cuz even if he doesn't care to reciprocate interest in me, the last time I tired to chat with him, I believe he could have said "look, still not interested" w/o me standing there and speaking and him pretending that he couldn't hear me. To me that was just rude. Yes, I believe being rude may be appropriate when someone keeps on bugging you and you have been clear that you are not interested - but I don't believe him ignoring me like that applied to that instance. Again, he could have politely said "Look, again, I'm flattered (maybe even attracted to you), but still not interested. Please, we can't be chatting anymore cuz I don't wanna give you the wrong impression". I also want to flip him off at times cuz I think he still is showing signs of "attraction" (not interest) and it just burns cuz I wish it was interest. But you're right....Who am I to flip off someone who finds me attractive? I can't force anyone to be interested in me. But, despite my emotional roller coaster this week - my confrontation with the online stalker has even more clarity and again, each day it gets better. I still have talking to a counselor on my agenda about this. My work offers it for free, but I don't want them in my business. I will put into my budget as soon as I take care of some stuff. My health insurance will reimburse me, but I gotta pay upfront for counseling services. BTW, now, about this being "dangerous"? I know me, I'm not capable of doing something stupid like those crazy chicks (i.e. Fatal Attraction movies), but when he and I had that negative interaction the other day - believe it or not - I considered HIM the dangerous one and that I should stay clear of him. Like someone who cries a false sexual harassment claim, I said to myself that I have to be careful that this guy isn't gaslighting me and getting jollies off of playing a game on me and then run and tell people that I'm harassing him or something....there's sick people like that who just go around f-ing with people. Edited February 1, 2015 by Gloria25
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