adhd and the first girl i let in my heart, still not sure how she feels, help!

[never1likeuagain]

this girl came up to me at the club where I work and she was determined to be with me. she easily accepted to be my girlfriend when early one day I described her as such to a co-worker to explain she was with me. never the less, despite how fast we went together, I felt I was with her longer, and we seemed to be perfect at first, indestructible, then fatal when she told me after a month I was too clingy that she needed to go through more guys and that she wanted to be alone to meet her goals in life in her choosing a career later on and going to college. I knew allot about her right away because she told me. she told me she had adhd and I listened to her past.

 

She said she had a hard time growing up because she was made fun of and shamed by the opposite sex, the ones she looked for or hoped for love or affection. She made it understood that she was for a long time suffering from acceptance by the boys she had crushes on but was ignored because of her overweight. She then later told me that she makes up stories of her past. stories I believed because she gave me her private diary.

 

We spent one month as friends with benefits, something she mentioned all the time, and I refused to be part of because I told her I could not handle her and another guy in my presence. We continued to have fun with the occasional explosion. and then at the end of another month she began to warn me we were just going to be friends and not intimate anymore, I suspected she was with another person while with me and her friends confirmed it, but regardless of that and her resent confession about the last person she chose before me, I want her to be in my life somehow where I could still have evenings together alone and do stuff we used to do and discover new reasons why a relationship with one person could be more meaningful and rewarding in the long run than a year full of names bunched together by a marker in the heading of every month.

 

I don’t know why, but I want to think the best of her, and think she just needs to restore her faith in love. since our third break up, the one where I don’t get to kiss her of get close to her that way, I have not seen her, and I fear that we could both keep from ever trusting eachother because of the inability to truly say to one another what we want from each other and how we feel for each other. How can I tell what she wants? She does not call me, and seemed so indifferent in a call I made to try to talk, we talked and I told her that I learned about adhd and that I didn’t know people acted like that against there will for a disorder and that I wanted to not give up on her and she seemed to agree, making conversation late one night when I thought to myself "all or nothing".

 

I asked her if she wanted me to leave her alone for once and all. and she gave me her reason for my misunderstanding, short she said she forgot to call, that she did not have anything to talk about. However, she used to call me nonstop back in our first two months. I don’t know now how I feel about her because of feelings I get that all this is me alone. she asked her friend about me and I don’t know what this means. Help, someone tell me how to go about staying true the way I was and not give up by what she says or how she treats me unless she is making it clear that I no longer make her want to spend time with me.

[WCCDAVE]

I asked her if she wanted me to leave her alone for once and all. and she gave me her reason for my misunderstanding, short she said she forgot to call, that she did not have anything to talk about. However, she used to call me nonstop back in our first two months. I don’t know now how I feel about her because of feelings I get that all this is me alone

 

 

 

I'm no expert but it looks like she wants to move on like you said she use to call non stop and no doesn't.I had the same problem with a friend of mine named dave he claimed we were still friends yet he wont reply to emails,calls or anything and this has been going on for 6 months now so he ended a 9 year friendship.Anyway enough of me babbling

[never1likeuagain]

the thing is that the more i read on adhd, the more i put things together on how she acted, she does care about me, and im going to be there for her if she only knew that while i have not seen her now for a while that ive changed my way of thinking about my fears my care for her and my understanding about her and her battle against adhd, who knows maybe im the person that may make a big impact on her life. maybe by giving her the understanding, time, care, friendship, motivation, and trust, we may both win or benefit in gaining a really true close frienship. I really care, so i must not give up. shes just human and a teen, we all need help sometimes even though we dont ask for it. i dont want a girlfriend in return or sex or anything. i want to feel happy having fun with her spending time together, i felt so happy and so sad, but maybe now with my knowledge of adhd i can show her she can count on me and not worry she might loose a fried she wandted or needs. i need the friend she was. so ive grown. its tough but there are those few exeptions out there that cannot be judged by you. people have faith in the girls or guys you meet that meant something to you, but by no means be a stalker, a pest, or a problem for that person if you really care for them, know and be sure to ask if in doubt. You may find yourself closer to people if you give something for nothing and in a clean honest way. please tell me about your experiences with a person you loved or are with that have adhd, how are you doing, what's it like. what do you see of it as a growing or dying relationship.