bohica Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 What's the thought's on expressing certain feelings after seeing a girl for a little over a month? I'm not talking about love. What I mean are things like, I've missed you, I'm thinking about you, etc.... I guess there are different perspectives. Personally, I find myself wanting to but not sure if it's too soon for me or for her. Maybe it's just me being scared. Thanks...
Jame22 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 I would hold off and wait for her to make the relationship exclusive. Or you can reciprocate if she initiates. But If you start blurting stuff out like that out of the blue she's going to either dump you or try to friendzone you. 1
Gaeta Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 I think it's fine. Just start by saying ' I have been thinking about you ' and see if she reciprocates or reacts positively. 3
Author bohica Posted January 31, 2015 Author Posted January 31, 2015 She actually has told me she missed me. I don't want to lay it on too think too soon but would like to tell her she's been in my thoughts and that I like her a lot. I'd like to emphasize the need to be slow with emotions as well though so I'd hate to contradict myself. The head and the heart......
Jame22 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 She actually has told me she missed me. I think it's fine then..just don't go overboard or make a big deal about it. 3
EgoJoe Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 "Hey I'm growing more fond of you daily." Think natural, think burgeoning and think SMALL! 1
Author bohica Posted January 31, 2015 Author Posted January 31, 2015 "Hey I'm growing more fond of you daily." Think natural, think burgeoning and think SMALL! I get what your saying but the word 'fond' may be too small to say to someone you have romantic interest in....
LoveRefreshed Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 "This morning, I woke up with a boner, I must have dreamt about you." Läuft? gets them every time. 3
EgoJoe Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 I get what your saying but the word 'fond' may be too small to say to someone you have romantic interest in.... It's been a month. As soon as you said BUT I realized that you want someone to tell you how to say, " I love you." In a clever way that you can deny if it doesn't go as planned. "Growing more fond of you daily" is the perfect way to say, "I see myself falling in love with you eventually.
d0nnivain Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 Be true to yourself. Don't hide. If you are feeling those things, it's OK to express yourself. 2
guest569 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 I dont think its too early.. Mind you i have said to my exes i missed them and they didn't miss me back lol. That was probably a couple of months in. It felt right to me. If they don't feel it too at least you both know where each other's at... When to say it.. IF you feel comfortable or if you feel the need to. 1
Author bohica Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) Here I am so worried about whether or not it's too soon to express certain feelings and I all of a sudden feel like I'm being blown off.. Earlier in the week she expressed interest in stopping by after work late Saturday night. We both work weekend evenings. Last night she sent a text saying she was rather busy and running late at work. I took it as an update. When I got home I stayed up waiting to hear from her. At around 1am I got a text saying she wouldn't make it. I said no worries but she sensed I was disappointed. I said I wasn't mad but didn't like being left out hanging all night. She apologized and said she needed to get an early start today, she needed to be somewhere at 11am (est). She said she would call as soon as she woke up to discuss meeting up at some point for Super Bowl Sunday. We both had previous plans but I invited her to go to a friends house with me after she met her friends. We said we'd talk in the a.m Here it is almost noon and no phone call. Not sure what my play is here. Already had to tell my friend I think i'm coming solo. Don't want to act upset with this girl. We aren't obligated, aren't a couple but I am having a little anxiety over it. This may be a test. Not sure what's going on.... oops **** there's the phone, which is on the other side of the room. Not going to dive for it... Edited February 1, 2015 by bohica
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 Call her. This girl has expressed feelings by telling you already she was missing you. I am reading between the lines here that you did not reciprocate since. She took a chance the day she told you that, she is probably waiting for you to express something similar. If you do miss her, if you do think about her, Tell Her! because I am putting myself in her shoes and I would probably wondering if you and I are on the same page.
Author bohica Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 Call her. This girl has expressed feelings by telling you already she was missing you. I am reading between the lines here that you did not reciprocate since. She took a chance the day she told you that, she is probably waiting for you to express something similar. If you do miss her, if you do think about her, Tell Her! because I am putting myself in her shoes and I would probably wondering if you and I are on the same page. I did reciprocate. When she said that I said I miss her too and that I really enjoy her company. It was really casual and a few days after we had a long date.
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 Call her. Don't be one of those guys who are afraid of taking lead and making things happen. 1
Author bohica Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 I called. It seemed to go well but she said she wasn't comfortable coming with me to my friends party because it was mostly going to be my friends family, who she doesn't know. Additionally, she had plans for all day today before we even met (a few parties) and she wouldn't feel comfortable coming having already been out. I guess she plans on having a few drinks. I'll try not to read into all that.....
Author bohica Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 (edited) Just blowing a little more smoke here.... A little disappointed that she didn't push for seeing me today. I understand that she had plans for a while. I don't want to force myself on someone and I want to give the girl her space but I'm afraid that the Sunday partying is more important. As I said, I am already at a point where I don't know how to handle my feelings. I say I don't and can't become too attached too quickly yet I find myself wanting to spend more time with her. This city of mine has lots of parties for the Super Bowl. I intentionally wanted to keep things open yet at an arms length today because I didn't want to come between her time with her friends. I didn't push for her to meet me but kind of wish she had. We aren't a couple at this point so I shouldn't have any expectations. I feel a weird vibe last night and today where as i've felt a lot of energy these past few weeks. There is a bit of an age difference that I think shows. She still wants to go to big parties for things like the Super Bowl and bounce around town late night. Where as I just want someplace chill to watch the game and all my friends are married with children. Edited February 1, 2015 by bohica
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 I think it's normal she already had plans for today. I also think it's normal that she does not cancel those plans for you, and also normal she does not invite you yet to join her. I think you expect too much for someone you've seen over the course of 1 month. Relax. 1
Author bohica Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 I think it's normal she already had plans for today. I also think it's normal that she does not cancel those plans for you, and also normal she does not invite you yet to join her. I think you expect too much for someone you've seen over the course of 1 month. Relax. True. It is all probably normal. Yes, I need to relax. Better to be here expressing myself then to her...... : ) Maybe I'll send a little text note later tonight just to say...hope your having fun...
EgoJoe Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 I'm going to say go the opposite direction and go silent and be busy for a few days. She could be accelerating into the games phase to gauge interest. Be aloof and funny.
Author bohica Posted February 1, 2015 Author Posted February 1, 2015 I'm going to say go the opposite direction and go silent and be busy for a few days. She could be accelerating into the games phase to gauge interest. Be aloof and funny. Definitely crossed my mind. However, just thinking out loud here, one might also say that me going silent and aloof for no reason would be me playing games.
Gaeta Posted February 1, 2015 Posted February 1, 2015 Definitely crossed my mind. However, just thinking out loud here, one might also say that me going silent and aloof for no reason would be me playing games. In my book it would be playing games. Remain yourself. If you feel like touching base with her tonight do so. 1
Author bohica Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) In my book it would be playing games. Remain yourself. If you feel like touching base with her tonight do so. Funny, I was going to and I'm tempted but I sent her a text earlier around the time of your response and I never heard back. I even put myself out there and told her I missed her. It's 10:45pm. So maybe I should play games and play possum. I'm actually disappointed and I see no reason why I shouldn't be. I don't like when someone seems so into me then sends me mixed signals. I have no idea what my play is at this point. Edited February 2, 2015 by bohica
Author bohica Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 (edited) I should have said that she did respond to me saying I miss her but she also asked to contact her again which I did. A text message which she never responded to. I just feel that all of a sudden I'm getting mixed messages. She is younger, she was out with her friends partying all day. I don't really like to see that in the first place but I am trying to understand she is younger and I did the same thing at her age when I was single. I think I just would have liked for her to let me know I was on her mind while she was out. When I wasn't getting that I didn't want to reach out to her and seem to needy. I have a problem in that I feed off the energy I feel from a women and If I don't feel that energy and excitement then I get anxiety over it, feel a bit rejected and tend to turn inward. I don't know how to handle it. I tend to always be the one doing the chasing and I don't want to do that. I want someone crazy about me for once. My buddy was insisting last night that I do not contact her. That I just play it cool. I think though that maybe it was me giving off the bad vibe. I started this post by saying I really like this girl and was afraid to express it to her but at the same time I have a lot of other things to focus on in my life at the moment. I recognize I'm ass backwards here with my last few posts. Like I said, I don't know my play here. She had asked me on Saturday if I wanted to maybe meet her and another friend at a restaurant Monday night (tonight).. Edited February 2, 2015 by bohica
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