Jl321 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 So a couple of days before New Years, my ex decided to break up with me. It was pretty random for me and I tried to convince her a little but after 5 minutes I just said whatever and left. I'm confused because 2 weeks before that was our 2 year anniversary and she gave me a bunch of little notes telling me how much she loved me and how much we were worth fighting for (she had to have spent a couple hours making all those letters). So 2 days after the breakup, she texts me asking for her stuff back and some money we were saving together. The next day she met me at my house and gave it all to her with one of the letters she wrote to me explaining "why we're worth fighting for". I didn't talk to her. I handed her everything, said "take care", and left with a smile. She looked borderline depressed. I felt bad but it was her decision. The next day I wake up to a text from her saying how she was too addicted to me and that we held each other back because all we did was be together every moment (which is true). She went on to say that we needed to become more independent and that this was her way of "fighting for us". She said she was on a plane going to her home country for a few weeks (Her dad had been wanting her to go but she kept telling me she didn't want to go). She ended with "I'm sorry and I love you" (even calling me "my love"). I replied later that day saying I understood and that I'm going to work on myself for myself because I understood the faults in our relationship. I told her to be careful out there and I loved her too. That was a month ago. I don't even know if she's back or not. I felt like she left just to get away from her problems. She's gonna come back to the same stuff she was dealing with "no car, no job, no money, her friends not there for her". The past month, I've been doing a lot. I'm reading a ton. I got a new job, I'm becoming more outgoing. Making new friends and trying to go out with old ones. I'm not fully where I want to be but I'm on the right track, I feel. I love this girl so much. She loved me just as much if not more. She's shown me much of the world, I didn't know existed. She helped me get out of my depressive state which I was in for years. We have the same goals and ambitions. We were working on them but we weren't working on our own lives or even our relationship. Being the dumpee, should I contact her to make friendly conversation and maybe plan a get-together or should I stick to NC and wait for her? I'm fully aware we can't go back to our old relationship and only a new and improved one could thrive if she allows it.
Author Jl321 Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 *Bump* anything guys? I'm so confused. I keep playing it over and over in my head. She's in my head every minute of everyday and I can't get her out.
sober and dry Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 She can be right, when she says "we needed to become more independent", in an emotional way I think, for both of you. You are doing good in getting on with you life and improving it, be glad for it and keep it going! Although she might need much more time to get her life going too and that would be a great step in improving herself for a new RS with you or anyone else, just as it's for you. Be sincere, do you think that a month is all it takes to make all of this? I think it isn't. Keep NC going some more and keep doing what you are doing, just take her out of your head a bit and try to focuses on you only, not to forget her but to be more efficient in your improvements and do it for yourself. None the less this is a hard position for you too as a couple. I mean, you two should be trying to do this together but I don't completely disagree with her all idea if you two tried to make it and didn't worked.
Author Jl321 Posted February 2, 2015 Author Posted February 2, 2015 Yeah I know I have a long way to go. It's tough but I know the direction I need to move. I've never done it alone and that's what scares me but at the same time I'm excited to see how far I can push myself without anybody to back me up. I need to prove to myself and everybody around me that I have what it takes to move forward from pain and succeed in life. That's another thing, we never did try while together. The few times where she went out either with friends or family, I tried to stay out of it so she could enjoy her time. I would stop texting her and she would always tell me to not think she didn't want to talk to me. I admit, although we were together all day everyday, communication on an emotional level ceased to exist. Mostly on her end and she knew it but God I feel so stupid for not at least trying. I wish I knew what shes making out of all this.
sober and dry Posted February 2, 2015 Posted February 2, 2015 I think you will be amazed with how far you can push yourself! Keep doing it, it's how grown up people do It's far best that you don't know what she is making out of this trust me. Don't fell stupid, that just isn't productive.
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