Lonelyhearts65 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 My ex boyfriend of now two months and I had our problems but at the end of the day we got along well except for his alcohol abuse which caused problems.There was that issue and the issue that he got a new sim card.I signed up his old one and got the paperwork for his new one.He was not going to tell me about it so quietly I checked his calls and they were all to his first wife,he had been married since then and separated from the second one. I asked him about it and he denied having a new phone number.I saw all the calls he was making to this woman and many after midnight.There were conversations for two hours in length,this man never called me while at work nor did he speak for long,he was always too busy he would say.Within 5 days of talking to this woman he broke up with me.....a week before I was to have surgery on my leg.I saw phone call after phone call and asked him about it,he said he was not speaking to her,it was his kids he called,I knew better.BTW,the children they had together are 28 and 31 so he really had no need to contact her. We were arguing after the breakup,he didn't seem to care about me at all.I went and had the operation,he never even called to see if HI was OK,he completely cut himself off from me.He left me 4 days before Christmas and those weeks he stayed at the house sleeping in a caravan out back he ignored me for most of it and was drinking most days until a week before he left.I went through hell after my OP as was unable to do much and really needed him but he wasn't there for me.I had a relative come take care of me. The day he was leaving I was on crutches,he told me he better make a move then slammed his hand on the wall and started sobbing.He turned to me and told me it was all his fault and never to think otherwise.That he did this,that he loved me and told me over and over again.He told me he needs to get his head straight and was moving up to where his adult children were,,,,,and also his first wife who has been in a relationship with a guy for 11 years.I have never seen a man so broken that day,he held me saying he was sorry and once he got himself fixed with his drinking he would come back for me.As he walked away he said it was not over.I waited for him to contact me as promised and his first message was that he got there OK.I never heard from him for 4 days and got a text message saying that he was thinking of me and to have a great day.The next day I got a message,no hi or anything,just a messaging asking "whats your bank details" as he knew that I could not afford the rent on my own at the house and physically I could not move,he promised to help me out,send money.I never saw the money and never heard from him until a month later.I sent him a message saying how badly he treated me and obviously lied about everything.I told him I loved him very much but knew the reason he went up there was for her.I got a message back saying I was too good for him,that I deserved better and that he was not chasing HER,and also that he did not hate me,he hated himself.I replied to him about how hurt I was with the way he has treated me and heard nothing more. I have someone cleaning up the shed to which he left a lot of rubbish in and they wanted to know what was in these drums that were there.I messaged him asking nicely,he rudely replied saying " why got a sale for it?" then I said,I am cleaning out a few things and I have not heard from him since and that was a week ago. I can understand the whole no contact rules but this man had problems he was going to sort out and had he of not broken down that day I probably could have moved on quicker however,this has left me totally shattered.How can someone be so cruel?How could he leave me when I needed him the most?How can he sit back and not care that I am in financial trouble because he walked out and I cannot afford all the rent here as I am still unable to work.Why do I feel like he got some kind of kick out of hurting me more?If he blamed himself,if he said he hated himself then why do I feel like I am being punished here?.I hardly sleep,I am deeply depressed all the time and as much as this man has hurt me I still love him!!!and I miss the good times we had and this was so unexpected and he is a long way from me,I wonder often is he seeing her behind her mans back (this woman cheated on him with his best friend and left him for this other guy) I don't understand why he would even want her after what she put him through not to mention what she got from the divorce settlement.I was completely loyal and true to him and took care of him and he treats me like this and is giving me the silent treatment. How do I move on from this?How do I stop thinking about him all the time Why did he do this to me?
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