FLBuccaneer Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 My girlfriend and I of 2 years have had our fair share of problems. But for the last few months, things seem to have gotten better and we both acknowledged this recently. Two weeks ago, and I was asking her about her weekend plans and she mentioned she was going on a bike ride with her father.We went to dinner a couple of days later and I asked more about where they'd be going and she mentioned that it was actually a fundraiser bike ride, that her brother and sister in law, and father were doing. I thought it was strange that she left that out earlier in the week, and also that I wasn't invited. Later into the conversation, I asked if her ex-fiance would be there. (Her brother and him are good friends) She responded with a no. Well after the bike ride, I was talking with her and 15 minutes in, I asked again, if her ex was there and she admitted to him being there. Now I understood why she left out details and never invited me to begin with. I also hate that I had to ask on both occasions and that she was forward about it. She said she'd knew how I'd react which is why she withheld this. This is obviously wrong! So I obviously was pissed and confronted her saying I don't want a gf that justifies lying by how you anticipate my reaction. I was very hurt (still am) and told her I need some time to sort through this. Well I called her the next day, a couple of times without an answer. I texted her saying "how can you ignore me, when you lied? You should be reaching out to me. I'm in shock" She responded saying she didn't like how I reacted and that was over a week ago, which I didn't respond. I'm in shock that it's been this long with zero attempt to call at least. Mind you we are both in our 30's and there has been issues in the past with her ex and them seeing one another. Can you all shed some light on what you think is happening here? My friends all say that she obviously is trying to rekindle things with either her ex or someone else and that there is no way she could just cute me off, unless she had someone else. Please help.
Satu Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 It looks like she has lost her enthusiasm for your relationship. Focus on yourself and find your still point. Rig for silent running and wait for her to contact you. Any contact from you would be pointless, just now. 1
seminoles84 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 Trust is crucial to a successful relationship. To me it's just not worth it anymore when you can't feel you can trust your SO. I know it sucks man, I can't tell you how many GFs I've had whose ex's kept coming back in the picture in some shape or form.
WonderWoman911 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 In my opinion, I think she's back in touch and dealing with the ex boyfriend. And she's trying to use the excuse of how you reacted, as her reason to distant herself from you so she can do what she wants to do on the side. 1
Author FLBuccaneer Posted January 31, 2015 Author Posted January 31, 2015 I texted her last week, as part of my above response asking her if she is back in touch with her ex, or someone else, giving her that out. I said it's ok (really it's not)and that this would make more sense why I haven't heard from you. I was just looking for something, as to why she just disappeared after 2+ years. She responded saying "There's nothing with anyone." Do I believe that?
Litlikeamonument Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 I went through a somewhat similiar situation with my boyfriend. His ex girlfriend works with and is friends with his sister, so as much as I hated it, she was still an indirect part of his life. He didn't even say hello to her when he saw her, but the fact that he even saw her made me insecure. It was something that I needed to either accept, or face the consequences of potentially losing him because we fought endlessly about it. You two have invested 2 years into each other. Talk it out, find a way to compromise. Explain to her that you don't like the situation but you want her to be able to be honest with you. But if you react too strongly she will continue to hide things from you, a lesson I learned the hard way. I hope this somehow helps you and you can learn from my mistakes.
Author FLBuccaneer Posted January 31, 2015 Author Posted January 31, 2015 I went through a somewhat similiar situation with my boyfriend. His ex girlfriend works with and is friends with his sister, so as much as I hated it, she was still an indirect part of his life. He didn't even say hello to her when he saw her, but the fact that he even saw her made me insecure. It was something that I needed to either accept, or face the consequences of potentially losing him because we fought endlessly about it. You two have invested 2 years into each other. Talk it out, find a way to compromise. Explain to her that you don't like the situation but you want her to be able to be honest with you. But if you react too strongly she will continue to hide things from you, a lesson I learned the hard way. I hope this somehow helps you and you can learn from my mistakes. It's a tough situation, knowing that there is always that thought of, what if, in the back of your mind. Fearing that you'll loose your partner is no place to exist. As I mentioned earlier, this isn't the first time that there has been interactions with her ex. One time, about a year ago I actually walked into a bar and saw her with him. She ignored my calls earlier that night and it all made sense. I was right on my intuition. My gut tells me that she is exploring, yet again, her ex or something. The trend here is that whenever we fight, she runs and closes me out for days. I've told her what that does to us but it continues to happen.
Litlikeamonument Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 That is a tough situation, and deeper than I originally thought, I'm sorry. You're right though, what ifs can really make a person go crazy. I myself am a prisoner of my own thoughts at times. You deserve more respect than what she is giving you. I hate to give you advice that would steer you wrong, but stepping back and giving her time to realize what she is doing may be the best choice. Not hearing from you will make her wonder why. You deserve better than this and I hope you find it one way or another.
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