lasyact Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 For the past year I have had a crush on a lady at work. Today was my last day at work as I have decided to move on to a new opportunity. I emailed my crush at midday, just a simple email; to say that I had enjoyed our conversations, that I thought she was a nice person, and could I have her personal email address? But she didn't respond. At the end of the day, I walked around the office to say goodbye to people individually. When I came to her area, she walked out of the office, clearly to avoid me. 10 minutes later she was back after I had moved onto another part of the office, but I made sure I went back briefly to say goodbye to her. I get it, that she wasn't interested in any more contact with me, but I've never been ignored so coldly. She always seemed so warm and open and personable. I'm just surprised she didn't at least validate me with a simple "no thanks". Is her behaviour normal? Am I right to feel a little humiliated that I wasn't even worth a response?
Satu Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 It sounds like you misjudged her level of interest in you. These things happen...
Author lasyact Posted January 31, 2015 Author Posted January 31, 2015 Yes, you're right, I know now that I did. But it is fair of me to at least expect a response of some kind? Not just to be ignored...
WonderWoman911 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 I agree with Satu. She isn't interested in you as you are with her. She may have felt that it was weird for you to ask for her personal email address. So probably the best thing for her to do instead of showing any rudeness towards you, was to just walk away from you. You mentioned that she was always so warm, open, and personable. That may be true, but that was only her work related behaviors and not her personal one on one behaviors towards you. 1
Satu Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 She answered your email by not answering. No answer was the answer. 2
preraph Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 At the workplace, there are a lot of people who are just fake nice. When I left my profession years ago, I was hurt by the number of people who had only been faking being nice to me. I wasn't naive, but I just couldn't believe they went to such lengths to make me like them at work (it was to their benefit, obviously). I mean, I am polite to everyone at work, but I don't bend over backwards and go to such lengths as these people did. You just have to be prepared for this in the workplace though. It can be confusing and unfair, especially if you think they are a real friend and begin to confide in them about your personal life. In my opinion, once that happens, they should make it clear they have no interest in that and just say something light to end the conversation and make it clear they do have a boundary. I do think this is becoming less common since in recent years, it doesn't seem like people try that hard to be nice in the workplace, but it just depends if their position is one that they need you to like them. I don't feel like you should feel humiliated, because even though you asked for her email address, she doesn't have to know why. It would be a fairly normal thing to do. She doesn't have to think it was romantic. It could have just been friendly. She could be with someone and know they wouldn't like it if someone was contacting them or anything. Lots of people keep email addresses of excoworkers just for networking purposes. Onward and upward!
Jessie1231 Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 My office is probably 50/50 with males/females, and we are constantly having to work together. It's easiest for us to all get along with each other so we do. We get along great at work and go to lunch together and occasionally meet up as a group on weekends. However, plenty of these same people aren't really friends to me because all of our getting along is completely work related. We have never been anything except really nice to each other, but we really have no interest in having a personal relationship outside of work. That may be the kind of relationship she felt she had with you.
TaylorTrek Posted January 31, 2015 Posted January 31, 2015 i agree with prehap, i've been to many work place, meet different kinds of people. ANd believe me, of about 60 % percent you meet in office or work area are all fake, if not they are just using you to their own advantage. But back to OP's topic, just let it go, it's clearly it's not into you. Who cares anyway, it's not your lost.
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