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My bf is singing while I am realy down and depressed


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Posted
"Tell Me Why"

 

you chose that particular song? because it makes no sense? because you've found meaning in it somewhere?

 

the tune is ok, but the lyrics, tell me why he penned them.

Posted
Hahahaa.... you d**k! Good one though, respect!

We have a lot of humour at home normally. So I am going to go tell him his mum called to tell me his dog died and then I will start dancing. Maybe he will shut up then? I will tell him the truth when he starts crying. That should keep the singing down for a while. Problem - solution! And all with the help of my good friends on LS. You guys are the best.

 

I totally get why he is singing now.

  • Like 7
Posted
I totally get why he is singing now.

 

If "Tell Me Why" is what he was singing, then suddenly, I'm on her side.

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Posted
Also, Winterina, if you need something or want something, you shouldn't be afraid to ask.

 

Is there a reason you haven't just told him he's upsetting you and asked him to stop? People can't read minds and you can't be mad at him for possibly not knowing you're still on the verge of a breakdown over a friend (?) today.

 

Not a verge of a breakdown... Just feeling down and depressed since yesterday. My physical reactions are things I cannot help, like struggling for breath when things are pressing me. Its ok. It goes away and I bounce back. Just in the moments while it lasts I don't need my damn bf singing!!!

I am going to turn into Serena Williams and threaten his life with a tennis ball... shoving a ball in his mouth should keep him from singing too. I get so many great ideas on this forum!

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Posted
I totally get why he is singing now.

 

Sarcastic humour no good for you?

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Posted

He is like doing Lionel Richie right now or something... I like Dream Theatre.

But that's not the point as I tolerated his crap taste in music so far very well and then I was feeling good about myself as to how awesome I am to do that for him. That, my friends, is love. And sacrifice.

 

 

Ok, time for 'your dog died' story...

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Posted
Also, Winterina, if you need something or want something, you shouldn't be afraid to ask.

 

Is there a reason you haven't just told him he's upsetting you and asked him to stop? People can't read minds and you can't be mad at him for possibly not knowing you're still on the verge of a breakdown over a friend (?) today.

 

Sometimes though, it would be nice if I didn't have to ask for things and got them. You know what I mean?

sometimes it does not require mind reading, just a bit of a good ol' common sense.

Posted
Sometimes though, it would be nice if I didn't have to ask for things and got them. You know what I mean?

sometimes it does not require mind reading, just a bit of a good ol' common sense.

 

If want him to stop singing, ASK him. This isn't about his emotional intelligence, it is about your inability to communicate what you want.

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Posted
Sarcastic humour no good for you?

 

If sarcastic humor weren't good for me, I wouldn't continue to visit this joke of a thread.

  • Like 3
Posted
Sometimes though, it would be nice if I didn't have to ask for things and got them. You know what I mean?

sometimes it does not require mind reading, just a bit of a good ol' common sense.

 

Have you ever read a book called Men Are From Mars and Women are From Venus? You should. Men don't view the world the same way women do & when we get mad at them for not doing something we see as common sense, it's not fair.

 

I had to educate my husband about some things. Even if he doesn't understand why I am upset he is much better now after several years of marriage in just comforting me rather than trying to fix it or try to logically explain to me why he thinks I'm overreacting.

 

Yes it would be nice if men instinctively understood what we needed but that is unrealistic. Until you understand that you are in for repeated disappointments in all your relationships.

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Posted
If sarcastic humor weren't good for me, I wouldn't continue to visit this joke of a thread.

 

Oh come on, we are not here to insult each other.

Besides, you are here because you have nothing better to do in life.

Posted
Oh come on, we are not here to insult each other.

Besides, you are here because you have nothing better to do in life.

 

Don't you realize how insulting your last statement is? Irony, thy name is Winterina...

 

Some of us are here because we genuinely like to help others.

  • Like 6
Posted

I'm trying to figure out why everyone finds your response to his gleeful behavior ok while you're sitting around feeling completely destroyed. It seems incredibly insensitive and inappropriate to me.

 

Is your bf often like this? He doesn't sound very empathetic if you ask me.

Posted

The Thread That Time Forgot

Posted
I'm trying to figure out why everyone finds your response to his gleeful behavior ok while you're sitting around feeling completely destroyed. It seems incredibly insensitive and inappropriate to me.

 

Is your bf often like this? He doesn't sound very empathetic if you ask me.

 

Sorry - I said that wrong. What I meant was I don't understand why everyone thinks your reaction is odd. I'd feel the same way.

Posted
I do not need anything from him, but to sing while I am going through something is really...inconsiderate and uncaring.

His singing made me feel worse.

 

 

In general I am sometimes depressed, more so during the winter, short and grey days which are 99% of the days where we currently live.

 

 

So let me get this straight... he needs to wallow in your misery, and be sad just because your sad?

 

What?

 

It sounds like you want his emotional state to be dependent upon, or tied, to yours. It sounds a little controlling. I feel bad so you MUST not be happy.

Posted
I'm trying to figure out why everyone finds your response to his gleeful behavior ok while you're sitting around feeling completely destroyed. It seems incredibly insensitive and inappropriate to me.

 

Is your bf often like this? He doesn't sound very empathetic if you ask me.

 

this one has fighting spirit not sitting around destroyed she is here hurling insults at people trying to help.....which does show signs of depression, depressed people are not easy to live with......to do the best by her......is to be truthful.....i dont know if she is seeking therapy and counselling or going the meds route......she didnt answer my post....hurling insults is more fun..she wants her boyfriend to walk on eggshells when she is depressed which isnt fair or considerate or empathic of her....i think professional help is needed to develop strategies and a knowledge of how she handles relationships when she is depressed.......definitely communicating her needs and definitely counselling for th eboyfrie4nd on how to deal with her depression...she isnt the only one affected..deb

  • Like 3
Posted
this one has fighting spirit not sitting around destroyed she is here hurling insults at people trying to help.....which does show signs of depression, depressed people are not easy to live with......to do the best by her......is to be truthful.....i dont know if she is seeking therapy and counselling or going the meds route......she didnt answer my post....hurling insults is more fun..she wants her boyfriend to walk on eggshells when she is depressed which isnt fair or considerate or empathic of her....i think professional help is needed to develop strategies and a knowledge of how she handles relationships when she is depressed.......definitely communicating her needs and definitely counselling for th eboyfrie4nd on how to deal with her depression...she isnt the only one affected..deb

 

I think she just feels attacked. Everyone is making such a big deal out of what she said. It WOULD be hurtful for someone to act the way her bf is acting. Why is this so hard to understand?

Posted
I think she just feels attacked. Everyone is making such a big deal out of what she said. It WOULD be hurtful for someone to act the way her bf is acting. Why is this so hard to understand?

 

Because she won't tell us what happened with her friend that makes her so depressed. Did the friend die or forgot to give her back her favorite pink top?

 

The boyfriend knows her by now. If she is a drama queen then he is just refusing to play her game.

 

Hard to judge without knowing what is the issue with her friend that makes her sooooooo depressed for 2 days.

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Posted
I think she just feels attacked. Everyone is making such a big deal out of what she said. It WOULD be hurtful for someone to act the way her bf is acting. Why is this so hard to understand?

 

 

i havent attacked her......i have offered solid advice......and i know what i am like when i am depressed and when its really bad ..so some of it i am basing my advice on personal experience...i am no joy to understand when i am depressed...i dont even understand myself....i get annoyed with little things and i go silent...so i seek help other than talking on a forum...i seek professional help.....before i destroy relationships or others.....because thats the other down side to depression is not what it does to you...but the people around you...and she needs to communicate with her boyfriend not build up resentment supported on a relationship forum where we dont really know the guy .....or her........deb

Posted
I think she just feels attacked. Everyone is making such a big deal out of what she said. It WOULD be hurtful for someone to act the way her bf is acting. Why is this so hard to understand?

 

the hostility is so over the top that we can't understand the trigger or the context for it.

  • Like 1
Posted
the hostility is so over the top that we can't understand the trigger or the context for it.

 

I don't think it's really over the top. A lot of people are making her feel like her reaction to her bf's insensitive behavior is odd. There's nothing odd about it. She's just getting really frustrated by the lack of understanding over something that should be a no-brainer.

Posted
i havent attacked her......i have offered solid advice......and i know what i am like when i am depressed and when its really bad ..so some of it i am basing my advice on personal experience...i am no joy to understand when i am depressed...i dont even understand myself....i get annoyed with little things and i go silent...so i seek help other than talking on a forum...i seek professional help.....before i destroy relationships or others.....because thats the other down side to depression is not what it does to you...but the people around you...and she needs to communicate with her boyfriend not build up resentment supported on a relationship forum where we dont really know the guy .....or her........deb

 

I'm not referring to you in particular. I haven't read all of the comments anyway. Just enough to know that she feels attacked. And I don't know if she's really depressed in the sense you're referring to. I think it's more in the sense that something really bad has happened and it's really affecting her.

Posted
I'm not referring to you in particular. I haven't read all of the comments anyway. Just enough to know that she feels attacked. And I don't know if she's really depressed in the sense you're referring to. I think it's more in the sense that something really bad has happened and it's really affecting her.

 

Please read the whole thread. From page one people have kindly asked her to give details about the issue with her friend that made her depressed. She refused each time.

Posted
Please read the whole thread. From page one people have kindly asked her to give details about the issue with her friend that made her depressed. She refused each time.

 

I guess I just don't see why that info is relevant.

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