Blehh Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 I just really don't know how to deal with what I've been going through anymore. I come to this forum because I'm just completely lost on what to do. A guy I've been with for a year tells me a few days ago that he met someone else, I was just shocked and I couldn't even believe it. It was just through skype, not even on call or in person. I kept asking him things and then that night I just made a huge vent and he's just like there's nothing to even say anymore, you were a great part of my life but it might be time we part ways. I still answered back kind of angry and the last thing he said was "**** you for thinking I'm selfish, bye." the thing is this girl doesn't like him back and he says he stopped talking to her, but I don't even know if him saying he met someone is true because lately all he's been doing is working and then coming home and playing a stupid game to relax so how could he have found time to meet someone else? it was just out of the blue, but like whenever i asked why he was depressed he wouldn't tell me or just ignored me for a few days and then that day he came to me with this and i just don't believe it. I just want to really forgive him, it just hurts too much to lose him even as a friend but there doesn't even seem to be a reason to forgive, there's so much more to this story and I know everyone's just going to say I should move on but it's not easy at all...we were supposed to see each other this week and then this happens? Like I keep getting tempted to just talk to him right now and tell him I want to at least still be his friend cause I just don't know how to cope with not talking to him...I thought we were both attached and loved each other and all this built up in a year just for this? Idk anymore..
d0nnivain Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 You don't need to forgive him but you do need to let him go. He's nothing to you anymore. He certainly didn't treat you kindly by dumping you via Skype (but he gets a few points for ending things with you rather than cheating). Regardless of why he left or how things panned out for him with her, he's out of your life. Remind yourself that you are strong & that you are worthy of love & that a good relationship is out there waiting for you. You do have to grieve the loss of this one but you probably will never get the answer / closure you seek. Most people don't have the words to give such an explanation & the dumpee makes it worse by trying to talk the other person out of the decision logically when it's an emotional decision. I'm sorry you are hurting but hang in there.
mightycpa Posted January 30, 2015 Posted January 30, 2015 Blehh, Can you help how you feel about him? Are you able to just turn it off? Can you explain to me why you can't just turn your back and walk away unaffected? No, of course not. Similarly, he can't tell you why he can turn his back and walk away unaffected. He's not able to turn it on for you, even if he wants to do that. He can't help how he feels. It doesn't matter that she doesn't like him. He can't help it, just like you now find yourself liking someone who doesn't like you. Cut him a break for how he feels. He can't do anything about it. You need to work on you for a while before you can even think about working on him.
Author Blehh Posted January 30, 2015 Author Posted January 30, 2015 Blehh, Can you help how you feel about him? Are you able to just turn it off? Can you explain to me why you can't just turn your back and walk away unaffected? No, of course not. Similarly, he can't tell you why he can turn his back and walk away unaffected. He's not able to turn it on for you, even if he wants to do that. He can't help how he feels. It doesn't matter that she doesn't like him. He can't help it, just like you now find yourself liking someone who doesn't like you. Cut him a break for how he feels. He can't do anything about it. You need to work on you for a while before you can even think about working on him. I had to go out for some hours and I kinda feel better, barely had a thought about it. I'm just going to try and let it go and if he's meant to be in my life and take responsibility for his actions then he would talk about it like any mature person would. If not then I guess that's that. I'm not gonna wait for him to come back but I guess I was just shocked cause he was like my best friend and he didn't even have to necessarily tell me that he was crushing on someone else, but it seems like it was just an excuse to not talk to me anymore. I would have been better just knowing he would rather us be friends and wants to break it off but then again maybe honesty is the best thing even if it's painful.. You don't need to forgive him but you do need to let him go. He's nothing to you anymore. He certainly didn't treat you kindly by dumping you via Skype (but he gets a few points for ending things with you rather than cheating). Regardless of why he left or how things panned out for him with her, he's out of your life. Remind yourself that you are strong & that you are worthy of love & that a good relationship is out there waiting for you. You do have to grieve the loss of this one but you probably will never get the answer / closure you seek. Most people don't have the words to give such an explanation & the dumpee makes it worse by trying to talk the other person out of the decision logically when it's an emotional decision. I'm sorry you are hurting but hang in there. thanks, I think you are right. I just tried to talk about it but there really isn't any point based on the responses so I just have to let it go...
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