Been single for a year and hating it. :(

[StephenSG]

Thanks. I just feel like theres someting special with this girl. and I agree with Dallers maybe I am not ready to date but I dont want to let her get away. I feel like we could actually have a connection and we do have mutual interests. I imagine I can still build attraction if i manage to play it cool and not act crazy. She actually initiates texts convos with me more than half the time.

[rester]

Glad you got a positive response, but try giving a few more days advance notice next time. Today is Friday and you are asking her out for tomorrow.

 

And I agree with calling rather than texting. Anybody can text. Call and leave a voicemail.

[devilish innocent]

I think she's interested, but you haven't given her much advanced notice the last couple of times you've asked her out. She may already have ideas on what she wanted to do and not like having to make a last minute change of plans. I agree with giving her more advanced notice next time.

 

If things don't work out with her, I do think you'll need to start exploring new ways to meet girls. The party scene isn't the best place to be searching for something serious and long-term. Since you like cooking, maybe you should try joining some cooking classes and seeing if you can meet women that way. You can also see if there are any fashion shows in your city. I'd suggest talking to girls at these venues.

 

I wouldn't limit yourself to talking just to the gorgeous girls either. There's a few different reasons for that. First, the more you approach girls and talk to them, the easier it will get. You don't have to ask out the ones you're not attracted to, but at least you will get practice with striking up conversations with girls. Second, some of these girls might have more girl friends that you can meet if you're on friendly terms with them. And third reason, sometimes when people have things in common and become close friends, a strong physical attraction can start to develop even if it wasn't initially there.

 

I think you will be fine though. Everyone I've known who was worried about being alone has ended up with somebody. You also must be somewhat attractive if you're finding hot girls who want to sleep with you as frequently as you do. And you've got the fact that you've got hobbies a lot of girls can relate to going on for you as well.

 

The date you've got this week-end sounds promising though. Good luck with that!

[somecamel]

A year is nothing to be honest you are just telling yourself it is. The longer you allow THIS process to continue the worse it gets and the lower your confidence and self esteem drop until girls can see it in you and that is a big turn off.

 

Its a simple process to recovery once you understand it. Focus on you and only you. Stop thinking you need a girlfriend because you don't and the fact you think you do is just making the whole situation worse and you less of a man.

 

1. Get your diet and exercise plan in place. This is number 1 because it consumes a lot of time and has so many positives.
   
2. Start researching. Look into websites which give guidance on how you feel and use forums like this one to learn and understand you and women.
   
3. Look into your own life and see what you are missing. Hobbies and career always before a women just like bros you need to fix your life not require a women to fix it. She won't.
   
4. When you are ready begin the process of dating from the bottom. Have some fun and use online dating as an opening to getting laid again and simple easy going dates. Work on your game and build confidence and self esteem.
   

 

If you do this you will recover. If you don't like most guys you will live in misery and wallow on your problems and become even more beta than ever. I was in your situation a couple of years ago. I'm still single but I have had a lot of fun over the last year, met several girls, had some funny dates, continued fixing me and focusing on my career and damn do I feel good. I'm strong and independent now and love myself.

 

This!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[StephenSG]

I forgot to mention.. With this girl about a week after I met her I told her that I liked her/had a crush on her.. I assume this was a mistake on my part as I was a bit drunk at the time, but she has continued to text me after that. I just want to make sure she knows that I am genuinely interested in her in more than a friendship way. I really dont want to waste my time on this girl only to find out she thought we were "just friends"

[losangelena]

The worst part for me when after talking to a girl for a few weeks and clicking they just cease responding to you. Like they could at least freaking say they aren't interested instead of just leaving me to guess. I hate that about girls. Argh

 

Lol, guys do this, too, just so ya know. It's not fun for anyone.

 

OP, I think everything's going to be fine. I think you think there's something wrong with you that you can't just go up to a hot girl and get her number. Let me tell you something—very few people can do that. That's not the norm, necessarily. I'd wager to bet that many more relationships start between people who were friends first, or co-workers, or who liked each other but were too afraid to make that next move. I wouldn't make, "able to walk up to any woman I find attractive and ask her out straight away without feeling the least bit nervous," as your aspiration in all this (not saying you're doing this, by the way).

 

You're still young. Your desires for companionship are very normal, just as your frustrations about not being to find one at the moment. As another poster said, the fact that you're worried about it is a good sign. If I were you, I'd try and not see this as an all-or-nothing proposition. Saying, "I'm afraid I'll NEVER meet someone, and ALWAYS be alone," are very black and white, catastrophic-type thinking. Those worst-case scenarios rarely come true in our lives.

[StephenSG]

Lol, guys do this, too, just so ya know. It's not fun for anyone.

 

OP, I think everything's going to be fine. I think you think there's something wrong with you that you can't just go up to a hot girl and get her number. Let me tell you something—very few people can do that. That's not the norm, necessarily. I'd wager to bet that many more relationships start between people who were friends first, or co-workers, or who liked each other but were too afraid to make that next move. I wouldn't make, "able to walk up to any woman I find attractive and ask her out straight away without feeling the least bit nervous," as your aspiration in all this (not saying you're doing this, by the way).

 

You're still young. Your desires for companionship are very normal, just as your frustrations about not being to find one at the moment. As another poster said, the fact that you're worried about it is a good sign. If I were you, I'd try and not see this as an all-or-nothing proposition. Saying, "I'm afraid I'll NEVER meet someone, and ALWAYS be alone," are very black and white, catastrophic-type thinking. Those worst-case scenarios rarely come true in our lives.

 

Thanks. These are kind words. Before my first girlfriend I was happy enough to go about my life without someone by my side, but it seems like these days I long for someone just to be intimate with after work, or take walks with on the weekends. It I hate to think that I have become desperate but its such an upsetting feeling to know I can't just call up my signifigant other and share time together. I don't ask for much in relationships, just to be loved, and I don't know how much longer I want to continue alone.

 

I really think I need to stop drinking and doing drugs on the weekends because they definitely make my depression worse, even though they help me open up socially to people